Am I a lesbian?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am 21 and she is 24 years old. We are both females. This friend of mine once told me she loved me. I considered that to mean the normal saying of telling someone you love the person.

One day, she saw me with a guy and looked surprised. Later, she warned me not to get myself a boyfriend or she will be angry with me.

After that incident, she started showering me with gifts and money. She behaves like a man towards me each time we meet, trying to hug and kiss me.

I have realised that my friend is a lesbian.

One day she touched my sensitive part and I gave in. Since then I have also fallen in love with her.

Obaa, please am I also a lesbian? If yes, how can we advise ourselves to stop?

Claudia,

Koforidua.

Dear Claudia,

It seems you are in the process of being converted to a lesbian. It appears you are not comfortable with the practice even though you seem to enjoy it.

However, you need to know that some pleasant and enjoyable things that come on a silver platter can be costly.

Lesbianism is something our society abhors, therefore getting yourself engaged in it can bring you a lot of troubles.

Religious bodies have openly condemned practitioners, making it difficult for them to be accepted in the society.

I want to advise you to seek help from counsellors and let you understand the dangers lesbianism would expose you to.

It could mean you cannot have your own children unless you decide at a point to quit.

My husband is always in the bedroom

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM 30 and he is 45. We have been married for three years now. The problem I have with my husband is that when he is not at work and he’s home, and always in the bedroom.

You can never see my husband in the sitting room chatting with the children or with me.

And Obaa Yaa, he only tells the children and I that he loves us when he is tipsy or drunk. That is the only time you will see him in a conversation with us.

Do you believe he really means it when he says he loves us in that mood?

Baaba,

Agona Nyakrom.

*****

Dear Baaba,

Generally, there are many types of personality in everyone and I hope your husband is an introvert. This means he is not the outgoing type and wants to keep to himself either reading or listening to music.

And of course, such a person would need something to stimulate him to be open, expressive and nice, and I guess a little alcohol is doing just that.

If he is not abusing the alcohol, then there is nothing much more to worry about. Be loving and let him be the person God has made him.

Ask the children to go to him anytime he is lonely to share jokes and help them with their homework.

Encourage him to be more communicative and do not nag about him because that will worsen the problem.

Obaa Yaa

Labour ward stories scare me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I JUST missed my period and I know I am pregnant but I am afraid of the repercussions.

It isn’t that there is no money to take care of the pregnancy, but Obaa Yaa, I have heard about all the things that happen at the labour ward.

I want to abort the pregnancy and be fully prepared before getting pregnant again.

I understand it’s a very painful experience and I can’t stand it.

Takyibea,

Eastern Region.

********

Dear Takyibea,

YOU have not written your age in the letter so it will be difficult to advise you on procedures to take.

You have also not told me whether or not you are married.

If you are above 21 and married, do not go and abort.

Many women have aborted pregnancies and ended up as barren. Besides, abortion is criminal and you can be prosecuted for it.

If there is money to look after the pregnancy, go ahead and deliver the baby.

Those stories you hear of labour pains should not scare or frighten you.

God takes every woman through it and there is nothing to postpone about it. Unless you do not want to have a baby, you must forget the labour ward stories and be hopeful.

The baby will bring you joy and open more doors for you because children are blessings from God.

Don’t listen to any negative news about child birth.