Features
BEESIWA —Part 3
‘Okay. I’ve heard you’, Beesiwa said. ‘Give me some time to think about it, and let’s talk later.’ Jeff drove her home, confident that he had virtually won her over. Yaw would not like it one bit, but Beesiwa was now his. He had taken Beesiwa away, just when Yaw appeared to be making some moves. This was such a sweet victory.
Beesiwa called her mother, and after thirty minutes they decided on Jeff. ‘Jeff is much older and wiser, and we now know he is much wealthier. Go with him. There is no guarantee that Yaw will choose you. In fact, he is already in a relationship with the doctor, so why should you hang around when he doesn’t even recognise you? And now we know that he is not as successful in business as we thought. So don’t waste time. This is your life.
Take the opportunity. Let Jeff come out clearly and do what needs to be done. Yaw has treated you well, but you have also been faithful to him’.
Within a couple of weeks Jeff and Beesiwa had sealed their relationship, and one evening Beesiwa asked Yaw if she could have a word with him. ‘Yaw, I have decided to go out and work on my own. I will stay for two weeks, that is, to the end of the month, so that we can find a replacement. I would like to thank you for all that you have done for me. I am very grateful’.
Well, that’s very surprising. But it’s fine. I have been encouraging you to go out on your own, so I guess I shouldn’t be really surprised. Okay. I will think about the replacement issue. I might ask my cousin Jenny to come and stay here for a while.
I’ve discouraged her from travelling to London, because she’s quite capable of doing something on her own. So I’d rather bring her to look after my stuff while I find something for her to do. So, I am also very grateful. You’ve done quite a lot for me, and I’m happy you are going out on a high note’.
Although Yaw tried to hide his disappointment, Beesiwa noticed it clearly. Was Yaw interested in her after all? Unfortunately she had already committed herself to Jeff, so she could not even think about changing her mind. Moreover, Yaw had already started talking about her replacement. She wished she had not heard those negative things about him.
They had had quite a good relationship, but she now knows that he was not quite the successful businessman she thought he was. What other secrets, she wondered, was he hiding? She told herself that she had made a good choice.
A few days after Beesiwa stopped working with Yaw, his driver, Paa Willie, called him, sounding excited. ‘Hello sir. You won’t believe what I am seeing with my own eyes, right now!’‘Okay, Paa Willie. Tell me what you are seeing, but please calm down a little. I can still hear you’.
‘Sir, I just paid for the take-away lunch for the guests at the office, and as I sat down to wait for it I looked across the other side, and saw Mr Manu, Beesiwa and her mother, Auntie Mensima, eating. They seemed to be celebrating something, because there were bottles of wine on the table, and they were dressed as if they were celebrating something’.
‘Wow. That’s very surprising. Maybe Jeff and Beesiwa have started doing some business together, or they have signed an agreement. That will still surprise me’. ‘Sir, I think there is something going on between Mr Jeff and Beesiwa. My worry is why Beesiwa will get into any relationship, business or personal, without informing you. I’m worried for her.’ ‘Well, Paa Willie.
Maybe we will hear something later. For now, let’s keep it to ourselves. I hope Beesiwa is not getting involved in something she will regret sooner than later’. Yaw reflected on the news for a while. Beesiwa had certainly made a bad choice. Perhaps, he would understand her if he knew the context in which she made the decision.
Maybe Jeff told her a pack of lies, and promised her the moon. But being the educated, well brought up young woman that she was, why didn’t she ask for time to think about the proposal? Did her mother have anything to do with the decision? Jeff was a big mouth, but no substance. His father’s haulage business was doing very well until the old man died.
Jeff had run down the company and sold most of its vehicles. He then made a lot of noise about going into estate development, but had started five houses and sold them before they were completed. For the last several years, he had sold off the bulk of the fifty acres left by his father, and was desperately trying to find something profitable to do before the lands run out.
Unfortunately, his lifestyle and his mouth were not allowing him. He and Yaw belonged to a group of university contemporaries in business who met at various homes and clubs regularly, but Yaw limited their friendship, if one would call it that, only to socialise over beer and food.
Jeff didn’t like that. Initially he thought that Yaw was protective of Beesiwa, but he later realised he was developing feelings for her. He decided to deploy what they called ‘Takashi’ at the university to grab Beesiwa before one could say Jack. It was past ten.
Some thirty guys and their partners were gathered for the bimonthly dinner of the Business Friends group. Most people had finished their food and were topping up their drinks, and the DJ was about to invite them to the dance floor. Then the MC said ‘ladies and gentlemen, our brother, Jeff Manu, wishes to share some information with us. Over to you, Jeff’.
My dear brothers, and your partners, I would like to make a brief announcement. I have recently asked my girlfriend, my sweetheart, Beesiwa Arthur, to marry me, and she has kindly accepted my proposal. So I am announcing that Beesiwa and I will be having our wedding in two weeks. Of course, you will be receiving invitations in the next couple of days’.
There was a respectful clap of some hands and some expressions of joy, but others stayed silence. The DJ took the microphone, and invited friends to react to the announcement. Billy Ocran expressed his delight that his buddy Jeff was getting married, and wished him and his partner a very successful life together. Yaw took the microphone next, and said, ‘I am really excited to learn that Jeff and Beesiwa have found each other and are planning to get married.
They are two great individuals, and I know this is going to be a successful marriage. Let’s give them a round of applause.’Jeff stopped in front of the house, and Beesiwa managed to share his embrace and what appeared to be a very warm goodnight kiss, then she rushed into her mother’s room and collapsed tearfully. ‘What’s the problem, Beesiwa?’‘
Mama, Jeff announced at the dinner that we are going to get married, and that they will all receive invitations in the next couple of days. A few people reacted nicely, but most of them were shocked. Mama, there’s obviously something wrong. And what makes it more confusing is that Yaw was one of the two people who congratulated us. Something is definitely wrong’. Get some rest, my daughter. We have a long day ahead. I will speak with Jeff tomorrow morning. There may be something that needs to be thrashed out. Maybe you are overreacting
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Old folks and human suffering
The aged
Grey hair is an honour from God, says my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, whose moustache the world admires. Unfortunately, his moustache is not grey. However, my dear, uncle who is a petty bourgeoisie is greying at the temples, which according to him is a sign of wisdom, reverence and honour. To me, it is also an indication that he is gradually nearing ‘home’ to render a comprehensive account of his life to his Creator.
Indeed, the principles of accountability and probity transcend grey hairs and moustache, and wind up in St Peter’s Heaven.
Anyone who is getting close to the age of 60 can rightly claim the grey hair status. But in Sikaman for instance, to be a living member of the grey hair fraternity is a privilege and not a right. This is because the average life span of humans today is 49 years, and the average in Third World countries is much lower. Poverty alone can kill you at 27.
It is also of interest to note that journalists have the lowest average lifespan vis- a-vis other professional groups, according to a proven research.
In any case, the human species are better off than insects and animals. A mosquito lives for only six days and decides to call it quits. Most birds live for five years; and when a dog lives up to 10 years, it automatically becomes a liberal democrat. Why? Because it becomes so weak that it can no longer be a leftist watchdog of its master’s home. The poor dog becomes rather liberal to thieves and burglars.
So is it with human beings who clock 65 and above, especially when they have not eaten good for over six decades. According to the Bible, the human limit which has been divinely decreed is three score and 10, that is, 70. This appears discriminatory when we consider that Methuselah for instance lived for 969 years before agreeing to die.
CURSE
Back to Sikaman, anyone who flies past the age of 65 is considered an old- man (woman) whether he is well- nourished or takes ‘quarter’ on a regular basis.
To many, however, to be called an old person is rather a curse than a blessing. And of course nobody wants to be a pensioner for obvious reasons. So you see workers who are clearly over 70 years claiming to be 50 just to avoid retirement and its associated money palaver. But somehow, they are justified.
Fact is that, these days, nobody cares for the aged, and so they have to care for themselves. It was the quest to avoid this unfortunate situation that the HelpAge Ghana was formed last year as a voluntary organisation aimed at promoting the well-being of the aged and ageing in Sikaman.
When the second HelpAge Week was launched last weekend, I felt so sad to see on television, old men and women, some of whom could hardly work their rickety heels to help themselves about. Some really had to be assisted to walk.
HelpAge has come so timely, at a time when no one respects or cares for the aged. In times’ past, old folks were regarded as useful members of the society, imparting knowledge and wisdom to the younger generation, telling Ananse stories to enliven the evenings of little children.
But today, old people are regarded as nuisance. They are accused of being talkatives, always complaining of kooko, waist-pains, constipation, diarrhea, chronic catarrh and lack of good diet.
Their physical and mental infirmities associated with senescence, coupled with the high cost of fending for them, makes them unwanted in a rat-race society where man must live by sweet.
Some people really want their aged relatives to die quickly to relieve them of the burden of caring for them. They can’t afford to be feeding them every day like that! So unfortunate.
PROBLEMS
In the developed countries, however, because of problems that go with caring for the elderly in society, homes for the elderly are established in many communities, where the aged can live comfortably to enjoy their last days on earth. They are cared for, nourished and entertained.
In fact, there is a branch of medicine called GERONTOLOGY which is concerned with the processes of growing old, and there is what we call (GERIATRICS) which is the medical care of old people. Scholars are specialise in these fields because their society cares for the welfare of the aged.
HelpAge Ghana is a laudable idea and Sikaman natives must be awakened to their responsibility to the elderly. Those who also handle their pension claims must avoid the unnecessary delays. I remember, my old man had to go up and down for months before he was put on his rightful scale.
Now, instead of wishing our aged mothers, fathers and grand-parents to die so that we can get enough money to drink beer, let us contribute to HelpAge Ghana to get it firmly instituted.
That way when we are lucky to reach the three score and ten mark, we could also benefit from it. No one knows what the future has in store.
Sometime last year, I was privileged to attend a get-together of pensioners of UAC and management staff at the Ambassador Hotel. I am not a pensioner though. It was quite an interesting scene to see old men and women all over chatting animatedly, and reminiscing their good old days.
I was also quite impressed with how some of them attended to the gin, brandy and beer at the reception.
In contrast to this, it is so pathetic to see many old people in the capital of Sikaman begging for money to buy kenkey. They look dirty and unkempt carrying aloft their grey hairs. Let us find a means of helping out these elderly folks so that when our turn comes the good old Lord will have mercy upon us.
This article was first written was on Saturday October 6, 1990
Features
The anxiety of parents
I had a call from my daughter and addressing me in her rather unusual but affectionate way, by my official name as usual, she greeted me and asked about how I was doing and I responded and we exchanged the usual pleasantries.
Then her next statement caused my heart to start pounding. She said “Daddy, I am going out on a date.” This is one of the moments every parent becomes filled with anxiety. It is just like when your adult child comes to tell you that “I have met someone I would like to marry”.
I then started asking about when she met him, how long she had known him etc. Then she said “Daddy, I am just pulling a prank on you” and I heaved a sigh of relief. Every parent will tell you that one of their fears is who their children will marry in future.
Fear of the unknown, is the issue that brings the anxiety. Will this man be a good husband to my daughter? Is there a terrible hereditary disease in his family? What are his parents like and would they be caring in-laws to my daughter etc. etc.
Most parents do not worry too much when their child is a man as opposed to a female child. Furthermore, boys do not bring pregnancy home so if they go out and come home late, parents do not worry too much compared to when Maggie or Agatha or Lucy goes out and comes home late.
Our culture makes it easier for men to opt out of relationships so parents do not worry too much when a male children come to introduce their would-be spouses to them and there is no need to add that spouse here refers to a female, since our culture does not tolerate the insane antisocial behaviour affecting some societies including African ones.
Marriage must be between a male and a female, a man and a woman, as God who instituted and ordained it. The girls fall in love easily compared to the boys who mostly walk into love. I have not conducted a survey but I strongly believe that females suffer from heartbreaks more than males because of their emotional nature.
Another dimension to this anxiety of parents is the issue of mental problems which in some instances can lead to suicidal tendencies. Mental cases resulting from mental breakdowns abound in our communities and the victims are mostly female.
A woman I met while walking with a friend was a victim of a mental breakdown. The friend I was walking with, exchanged pleasantries with the said lady and it was apparent that they knew each other very well.
My friend, after we had parted company with the woman, narrated how her husband was engaged in womanising which compelled the woman to take a revenge on him.
She decided that the best way to also hurt her husband’s feelings was to have an affair with the husband’s driver. The affair became known to the husband and she was divorced. The dress she was wearing and her general appearance when we met her on the street showed clearly that all was not well mentally with her.
It was so sad and as a parent I started praying into the future of my children that they would get the right partners, God-fearing people to marry.
Another anxiety of parents is the character of their children’s life partners. Would they be kind people? Will they be people with bad tempers? Will they be wife beaters?
Domestic abuse is common in our society and you will be surprised at the calibre of the perpetrators. Some are well educated people, nicely dressed, when you meet them in public places you will never suspect that they are wife beaters.
Some are even pastors and yet they ignore the teachings of the Bible and maltreat their spouses. It is not only men who abuse their spouses but some women are abusers as well.
May God grant us and our children the gift of spirit of discernment so our children will make the right choices for us to also endorse.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
