Features
BEESIWA – Part 4
After managing to get just a little sleep, Beesiwa woke up early, and without saying anything to her mother, headed for Yaw Awotwe’s house, not to see Yaw, but in the hope that his driver would be kind enough to say something meaningful to take her out of her confusion. Fortunately they met at the entrance to the Estate, and she greeted him.
He nodded. ‘Uncle Paa Willie, may I respectfully ask you something? I’m in a tight situation. Please help me.’‘Go ahead’.‘You see, Uncle, Yaw has been more than extremely good to me. However, I have been in love with him for some time, and privately hoping that something would happen between us. But my mom warned me emphatically that Yaw was way above my class, and there were better girls waiting to catch him.
I kept up the hope for some time, then I gave up, took the advice he had been giving me, and started my own business. As you know he has been very helpful always. Unfortunately the frustration of losing him always weighed on me, and then Jeff showed interest, and made a big proposal, and even promised to buy me an estate house.
I discussed it with my mother, and she said I should accept Jeff’s proposal, and I did. I thought everything was going to go well, but at yesterday’s dinner, Jeff made the announcement of our impending marriage, and the response was shockingly negative. A few people applauded, and Yaw and Ebo Mensah rose to congratulate us, but the general reaction was bad.
So I want to find out whether there’s something I don’t know, so that I back out before I get badly hurt’.‘Beesiwa, if I didn’t know you I would have given you a diplomatic answer. But since I know you to be a graduate with a lot of good sense, let me tell you, straight up, that you and your mother have shown the worst form of judgement anyone can make.
Jeff comes to propose to you, and promises to buy you a house, and you drop all your senses and follow him? What work does Jeff do? Where is his office? Who does he employ? Have you met his parents or relatives? Beesiwa, you should be really ashamed of yourself. And please tell your mother that I have lost all respect for her. Let me not waste your time.
You and your mother, go and ask Jeff to show you his office, and tell you what he does for a living. Yaw was prepared to do anything for you. Anything. I said anything. And you turn your back on him, and follow this thief with the big mouth?’ Beesiwa opened her mouth wide.
‘Uncle Paa Willie, he told me that Yaw was in serious debt, and he had tried to help him in many ways. He said he would support me to become one of the biggest caterers in town, because he had very powerful contacts. Uncle Paa Willie, how come Yaw did not show any sign of affection for me? I would have never taken such a foolish decision if I had the slightest idea he wanted me’.
‘He takes his time with everything. He encouraged you to develop your talents, gave you money to start business, and brought in a girl to help at the house so that you would be free to make money. Why do you think he was doing that? He heard about you and Jeff a couple of weeks ago, and he said he felt very sorry for you, but hoped you at least knew what you were going into’.
So I’ve given you more answers that the questions you raised. I need to be going’.Devastated and weeping uncontrollably, Beesiwa started walking to the roadside to pick up a taxi. Then on an impulse she stopped, turned and followed Paa Willie to Yaw Awotwe’s house. Yaw saw her just before he opened the front door.
‘Beesiwa, I thought I have answered all your questions. What is the problem now?’‘I, I, I just want to say one word to Yaw. I won’t take more than one minute of his time’.‘ButBeesiwa, I have told you what you need to do. Why don’t you allow Yaw to go to work?’
You have already made your decision. I don’t see how he comes in at all’. ‘You are here, Paa Willie’, Yaw said from the hall. ‘Is there anyone with you?’‘Beesiwa is here. She says she wants to have a word with you?’‘Really?’ he said as he walked to the front door, and saw Beesiwa weeping. ‘Is anything wrong?’
‘Yaw, I want to beg you. Forgive me for everything I’ve done against you. I have always had deep feelings for you, and kept hoping that you would show some interest in me. But I realized that it was not going to happen, so I gave up.
Then Jeff started showing interest, and saying all kinds of things about you, and offering to marry me. I now realize I made a foolish decision. I was reacting to the disappointment of losing you, and I thought that because he was close to you he was also a decent man.
He said some really bad things about you, and because we knew him as a close friend of yours we believed him, and my mother and I decided that I should accept his proposal’.‘Beesiwa, I have a difficulty. Yesternight, in fact, only a few hours ago, Jeff was proudly introducing you as his wife, and announcing that you two would be getting married in two weeks time.
Now here you are, telling me that you have changed your mind. What do you want me to do?’‘I’m apologizing for the things I believed about you. After spending so much time with you I should have not accepted any of the things he said. I am really sorry.
The reaction of the people to his announcement clearly showed that there was something wrong, and when I went home I realized I had acted very hastily. And I came to see Uncle Paa Willie, and he told me a few things. I feel really terrible’. ‘Well, Beesiwa. You avoided a big bullet, so let’s thank God for that. If you had taken just a little time to get to know Jeff, you would have known the kind of person he is.
But now you know, so you can get on with your life. You have a business to run. I don’t blame you, but I certainly blame your mother. I don’t think I have the words to describe her’.‘Yaw, I want to ask a very big favour?’‘I’m listening’.‘I want to stop running the business, and come back to work with you’.
‘You know that doesn’t make sense at all. You have clearly demonstrated the capacity to excel in this business, and you are making good money. You want to stop all that and come back as my house help? That’s not right at all’.‘I would do anything to be around you. Please give me just one chance’.Yaw couldn’t hold back the emotions he had been keeping about Beesiwa.
She had made a very ridiculous, careless mistake by accepting Jeff’s lies and going so far with him. Fortunately she stopped just in time. He decided, from that moment, to take her as his lady.‘Okay. Stay here. Spend the day. I have to rush to keep some appointments. I will call’.That was how their relationship started. After three months preparation, Beesiwa and Yaw were married. As for Jeff, he got lost somewhere in the bush
By Ekow de Heer
Features
Old folks and human suffering
The aged
Grey hair is an honour from God, says my uncle, Kofi Jogolo, whose moustache the world admires. Unfortunately, his moustache is not grey. However, my dear, uncle who is a petty bourgeoisie is greying at the temples, which according to him is a sign of wisdom, reverence and honour. To me, it is also an indication that he is gradually nearing ‘home’ to render a comprehensive account of his life to his Creator.
Indeed, the principles of accountability and probity transcend grey hairs and moustache, and wind up in St Peter’s Heaven.
Anyone who is getting close to the age of 60 can rightly claim the grey hair status. But in Sikaman for instance, to be a living member of the grey hair fraternity is a privilege and not a right. This is because the average life span of humans today is 49 years, and the average in Third World countries is much lower. Poverty alone can kill you at 27.
It is also of interest to note that journalists have the lowest average lifespan vis- a-vis other professional groups, according to a proven research.
In any case, the human species are better off than insects and animals. A mosquito lives for only six days and decides to call it quits. Most birds live for five years; and when a dog lives up to 10 years, it automatically becomes a liberal democrat. Why? Because it becomes so weak that it can no longer be a leftist watchdog of its master’s home. The poor dog becomes rather liberal to thieves and burglars.
So is it with human beings who clock 65 and above, especially when they have not eaten good for over six decades. According to the Bible, the human limit which has been divinely decreed is three score and 10, that is, 70. This appears discriminatory when we consider that Methuselah for instance lived for 969 years before agreeing to die.
CURSE
Back to Sikaman, anyone who flies past the age of 65 is considered an old- man (woman) whether he is well- nourished or takes ‘quarter’ on a regular basis.
To many, however, to be called an old person is rather a curse than a blessing. And of course nobody wants to be a pensioner for obvious reasons. So you see workers who are clearly over 70 years claiming to be 50 just to avoid retirement and its associated money palaver. But somehow, they are justified.
Fact is that, these days, nobody cares for the aged, and so they have to care for themselves. It was the quest to avoid this unfortunate situation that the HelpAge Ghana was formed last year as a voluntary organisation aimed at promoting the well-being of the aged and ageing in Sikaman.
When the second HelpAge Week was launched last weekend, I felt so sad to see on television, old men and women, some of whom could hardly work their rickety heels to help themselves about. Some really had to be assisted to walk.
HelpAge has come so timely, at a time when no one respects or cares for the aged. In times’ past, old folks were regarded as useful members of the society, imparting knowledge and wisdom to the younger generation, telling Ananse stories to enliven the evenings of little children.
But today, old people are regarded as nuisance. They are accused of being talkatives, always complaining of kooko, waist-pains, constipation, diarrhea, chronic catarrh and lack of good diet.
Their physical and mental infirmities associated with senescence, coupled with the high cost of fending for them, makes them unwanted in a rat-race society where man must live by sweet.
Some people really want their aged relatives to die quickly to relieve them of the burden of caring for them. They can’t afford to be feeding them every day like that! So unfortunate.
PROBLEMS
In the developed countries, however, because of problems that go with caring for the elderly in society, homes for the elderly are established in many communities, where the aged can live comfortably to enjoy their last days on earth. They are cared for, nourished and entertained.
In fact, there is a branch of medicine called GERONTOLOGY which is concerned with the processes of growing old, and there is what we call (GERIATRICS) which is the medical care of old people. Scholars are specialise in these fields because their society cares for the welfare of the aged.
HelpAge Ghana is a laudable idea and Sikaman natives must be awakened to their responsibility to the elderly. Those who also handle their pension claims must avoid the unnecessary delays. I remember, my old man had to go up and down for months before he was put on his rightful scale.
Now, instead of wishing our aged mothers, fathers and grand-parents to die so that we can get enough money to drink beer, let us contribute to HelpAge Ghana to get it firmly instituted.
That way when we are lucky to reach the three score and ten mark, we could also benefit from it. No one knows what the future has in store.
Sometime last year, I was privileged to attend a get-together of pensioners of UAC and management staff at the Ambassador Hotel. I am not a pensioner though. It was quite an interesting scene to see old men and women all over chatting animatedly, and reminiscing their good old days.
I was also quite impressed with how some of them attended to the gin, brandy and beer at the reception.
In contrast to this, it is so pathetic to see many old people in the capital of Sikaman begging for money to buy kenkey. They look dirty and unkempt carrying aloft their grey hairs. Let us find a means of helping out these elderly folks so that when our turn comes the good old Lord will have mercy upon us.
This article was first written was on Saturday October 6, 1990
Features
The anxiety of parents
I had a call from my daughter and addressing me in her rather unusual but affectionate way, by my official name as usual, she greeted me and asked about how I was doing and I responded and we exchanged the usual pleasantries.
Then her next statement caused my heart to start pounding. She said “Daddy, I am going out on a date.” This is one of the moments every parent becomes filled with anxiety. It is just like when your adult child comes to tell you that “I have met someone I would like to marry”.
I then started asking about when she met him, how long she had known him etc. Then she said “Daddy, I am just pulling a prank on you” and I heaved a sigh of relief. Every parent will tell you that one of their fears is who their children will marry in future.
Fear of the unknown, is the issue that brings the anxiety. Will this man be a good husband to my daughter? Is there a terrible hereditary disease in his family? What are his parents like and would they be caring in-laws to my daughter etc. etc.
Most parents do not worry too much when their child is a man as opposed to a female child. Furthermore, boys do not bring pregnancy home so if they go out and come home late, parents do not worry too much compared to when Maggie or Agatha or Lucy goes out and comes home late.
Our culture makes it easier for men to opt out of relationships so parents do not worry too much when a male children come to introduce their would-be spouses to them and there is no need to add that spouse here refers to a female, since our culture does not tolerate the insane antisocial behaviour affecting some societies including African ones.
Marriage must be between a male and a female, a man and a woman, as God who instituted and ordained it. The girls fall in love easily compared to the boys who mostly walk into love. I have not conducted a survey but I strongly believe that females suffer from heartbreaks more than males because of their emotional nature.
Another dimension to this anxiety of parents is the issue of mental problems which in some instances can lead to suicidal tendencies. Mental cases resulting from mental breakdowns abound in our communities and the victims are mostly female.
A woman I met while walking with a friend was a victim of a mental breakdown. The friend I was walking with, exchanged pleasantries with the said lady and it was apparent that they knew each other very well.
My friend, after we had parted company with the woman, narrated how her husband was engaged in womanising which compelled the woman to take a revenge on him.
She decided that the best way to also hurt her husband’s feelings was to have an affair with the husband’s driver. The affair became known to the husband and she was divorced. The dress she was wearing and her general appearance when we met her on the street showed clearly that all was not well mentally with her.
It was so sad and as a parent I started praying into the future of my children that they would get the right partners, God-fearing people to marry.
Another anxiety of parents is the character of their children’s life partners. Would they be kind people? Will they be people with bad tempers? Will they be wife beaters?
Domestic abuse is common in our society and you will be surprised at the calibre of the perpetrators. Some are well educated people, nicely dressed, when you meet them in public places you will never suspect that they are wife beaters.
Some are even pastors and yet they ignore the teachings of the Bible and maltreat their spouses. It is not only men who abuse their spouses but some women are abusers as well.
May God grant us and our children the gift of spirit of discernment so our children will make the right choices for us to also endorse.
By Laud Kissi-Mensah
