Relationship
Best relationship topics to talk about – final
• Love is beautiful
Self-improvements in bed.
Let’s not call them problems. Call them self-improvements and relationship improvements if you must. Never push problems in the bedroom under the carpet. At some point, they’ll always come back to haunt both of you. If you aren’t able to perform or don’t feel like having sex all of a sudden, talk about it so both of you can overcome any issues together.
Sex talk.
For a relationship to be successful, sexual intimacy is as important as romantic gestures. Talk about your sexually sensitive spots and erogenous zones, positions you like or want to try, your secret sexual fantasies and whatever it is that turns you on in bed. It’ll be exciting and revealing at the same time.
Do you feel like there are some areas you both could do things differently? Are there any new things you’d like to try in real life? Any secret fantasies, perhaps? This is one of those relationship topics that’ll not only get both of you to open up, but also go a long way in making your sex life better.
Well-being and wellness.
While health issues may not be easy to talk about, it’s still a great way to get to know each other and enhance each other’s lives. Are there any ways you could improve your life and make it better? Is there something healthy the two of you could try incorporating into your lifestyle as a couple?
Advice.
Communication isn’t always about getting to know more about each other. Every now and then, offer advice and share your suggestions on what your lover could do to improve their life or their work.
What’s your story?
Relationship topics about the past are always exciting and fun to talk about. You don’t need to talk about past relationships or your sexual details if that make you feel uncomfortable. Your partner would want to know about your past though, so if you’re okay with going into details, play it safe and talk about it. But either ways, talk about your childhood, your young dreams and all the little things that make you who you are.
The future.
What do you want to do with your life? This topic can make for intellectual conversations that can help you get to know your partner’s view about life and the pursuits that matter to them.
Preferences.
Sometimes, it’s the little things that can give both of you hours of fun conversations. Talk about each other’s likes and dislikes. After all, preferences always change with time, and the more you know about your partner’s present preference, the better you’d know them.
What can we do together?
Plan shared goals together. It could be about painting a wall, running a marathon the next year or just about anything else. When you plan things or try something new together, it brings both of you closer.
Personal opinions.
If you truly love each other, don’t hold your thoughts back if you want to share what’s on your mind with your lover. It doesn’t matter if it’s a suggestion or a warning, if you feel it, say it. Your partner will feel good to know that you’re always looking out for them no matter what. It always feels good, doesn’t it, when you know that you have a special someone who cares so much about you?
Source: //www.lovepanky.com/
Relationship
The role of family and friends in choosing a spouse
When choosing a spouse, family and friends can play a vital role. They can provide support, guidance, and advice, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
In this article, we will delve into the role of family and friends in choosing a spouse and provide guidance on how to navigate their influence.
Cultural and Traditional
Expectations of Family
Family can influence your choice of spouse. They usually have certain expectations or requirements for your partner, and they may also have concerns or reservations about your choice.
Your family may have certain cultural or traditional expectations for your spouse. For example, they may expect your spouse to be from the same cultural or religious background.
They may also expect your spouse to have certain qualities or characteristics that are valued in your culture or tradition.
Cultural expectations can influence our communication styles, conflict resolution strategies, and emotional expression. In many cultures, it is customary to show respect and deference to elders, while in others, it is more common to challenge authority and question tradition.
Social Status
The social status of your spouse may be a concern for your family. They may expect your spouse to have a certain level of education, income, or occupation. They may also expect your spouse to have certain social connections or relationships.
Social status shapes our identities and self-esteem. When choosing a spouse, social status can influence our preferences and priorities. Some people may place a high value on marrying someone with a high-paying job or a prestigious title.
Personality and Character
Family may have expectations around the personality and character of your spouse. Most times, they may expect your spouse to be kind, honest, and responsible. They may also expect your spouse to have certain values or morals.
The Influence of Friends
Friends can also be significant in choosing a spouse. They provide support and encouragement, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
Friends can introduce you to potential partners within their social circle. This can be a great way to meet new people and potentially find a partner. However, remember that your friends may not always have your best interests at heart.
Social circle impacts our relationships. In selecting a partner to marry, social circle can influence our preferences and priorities. For instance, some people may place a high value on marrying someone within their social circle, while others may prefer to meet someone outside of their usual social network.
Support and Encouragement
Friends give emotional support and encouragement throughout the relationship. They can be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. However, it is vital to remember that friends may not always be objective.
Yes, the influence of family and friends is undeniable in choosing a spouse. While their support and guidance can be valuable, it is crucial to know that the decision of who to marry is ultimately yours.
By communicating openly, setting boundaries, prioritising your relationship, and seeking outside help if needed, you can navigate the influence of family and friends and build a strong and healthy relationship.
To be continued…
Relationship
How marital infidelity and excessive arguing lead to divorce
1. Marital Infidelity (Marital Unfaithfulness)
Marital infidelity (adultery) is one of the most significant challenges facing families in our society.
Many divorces are due to (in one way or another) marital infidelity of spouses. In a 2019 study by the American Psychological Association (APA): “Infidelity was found to be the cause of 20-40 per cent of US divorces.”
Infidelity and divorce are very old, yet their levels seem to increase with time. One wonders why people are unable to learn from the past and eradicate infidelity in their marriages—which would, in turn, reduce the divorce rates.
The institution of marriage is based on deep trust between the two partners that enter it. Adultery (marital infidelity) is considered a violation of that faith in each other and a severe betrayal. This violation of trust is not to be taken lightly, as it can profoundly affect both parties and the marriage as a whole.
While many instances of marital infidelity are the results of a volatile family situation, there are also personal factors that can push one to commit adultery. Christians and society see the act as a sin, immoral, and an abomination.
This societal view can put great pressure on individuals, making them feel guiltier and less likely to seek reconciliation, thereby increasing the likelihood of divorce.
In some cases, mental conditions can influence people and lead to self-destructive behaviours such as sexual infidelity.
In such cases, the person typically knows that the act will harm the family but commits it regardless. Marital infidelity as revenge after learning of one’s spouse’s unfaithfulness should also be considered part of this category. Sometimes, infidelity can even push the other spouse who is committed to the relationship into adultery out of the belief that in doing so, they will share the burden.
Marital infidelity, regardless of the reasons behind it, inflicts deep wounds on both parties and the marriage as a whole. The betrayed spouse often feels inadequate and begins to question their worth, while the adulterer is burdened with guilt and mental weakness. These profound effects underscore the gravity of marital infidelity and its potential to shatter a marriage. Looking for personal faults that drove their spouse to act as they did.
Unfortunately, marriages frequently end after adultery is discovered, partly due to the tendency of cheaters (adulterers) to do so repeatedly. Often, this leads to one or both spouses seeing the act as the dissolution of their marital relationship.
Children are likely to be affected adversely as a result, especially because adultery-related divorces tend to end with the adults not being on good terms. Ultimately, adultery (marital infidelity) is highly destructive to marriages regardless of the cause and may often lead to their dissolution in the case that the other spouse learns about the act.
2. Excessive Arguing and Lack of Effective Communication
Most arguments in marriage happen because of a communication breakdown. Excessive arguing and a continuous lack of effective communication have been cited as causes of divorce in many cases. Therefore, improving communication can make a big difference between a happy marriage and one that experiences separation or divorce.
In 2019, a survey conducted by ‘Your Tango’ found the following lack of communication in divorce statistics:
• ‘Communication problems’ is the most common factor that leads to divorce, at 65 per cent
• This was followed by couples’ ‘inability to resolve issues,’ at 43 per cent.
Open and honest communication with a spouse can show trust, respect, and deference to the other spouse’s thoughts and beliefs. Excellent communication can see a relationship through difficulties, while lack thereof could cause a simple argument to escalate into grounds for a divorce.
It is not surprising that a lack of effective communication in marriage leads to divorce or separation in many instances. Given how crucial communication is to a successful marriage, it is better to work on your communication skills or find a good therapist to assist you than to allow situations to deteriorate in your marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “A COUNSELLOR’S GUIDE TO USING ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ EFFECTIVELY” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist).
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