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Obaa Yaa

Can l forgive hubby for leaving us 22 years?

I got married 26 years ago to a gentleman who was initially very loving and caring by all standards. We were both happy in our marriage and blessed with two pretty girls.

As things were not going on well, my husband left Ghana 22 years ago to seek better economic fortunes in the United States of America (USA). At the time my husband was leaving, our children were four and two years old respectively.

He has not paid any visit to Ghana, let alone made any effort to enable us to join him there since leaving the shores of this country.

Initially, he wrote letters frequently to find out how we fared and enquired about the educational progress of the children.

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More than 18 years now, we have not heard from him and are worried if he is still alive.

l have single- handedly looked after the children without the support of any of his relatives.

Surprisingly, he has written about two months ago to inform me that he has re-married and was no longer interested in me.

ObaaYaa, l must confess that this man has really ruined my life and caused me serious harm because l had turned down offers from many suitors who are now happily married with children.

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Can l take legal action against him for damage caused me?

Ampoma, Accra.

Dear Ampoma,

l commend you for the ordeal you have gone through to take care of your children single-handedly in spite of the daunting  challenges.

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I can envisage how you feel and how enraged you must be against your husband who has not treated you well,as you try to remember the men who had proposed to marry you.

Though he could be charged by the court to pay you an alimony, you should desist from taking a legal action against him for the interest of your children.

Additionally, you should not infer that your marriage to those who had proposed to you would have been sailing well just like those they are married to. This is to confirm the fact that all the hands are not equal.

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Obaa Yaa

They get on my nerves

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

 Both  my wife and I are middle school leavers, but because her brothers are overseas, she goes abroad regularly. Because of that she has joined a certain class of people who believe that my wife is better educated than I am and therefore, look down on me.

The way she sometimes communicates with me is so annoying and makes me feel sad.

I overheard one of them asking my wife how she could marry an illiterate like me, and surprisingly she laughed at it as if it was a huge joke. When I confronted my wife afterwards, she denied everything.

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I don’t want to divorce my wife, but her friends get on my nerves.

Please advise me.

Kwaku Teye, Konogo

Dear Kwaku Teye,

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The current state of your wife is making her feel she is better than you. I can imagine how you feel. It is not fair for your wife to encourage her friends to make derogatory remarks about you.

However, do not make an issue out of it, especially as your wife has denied it.

I will advise you to talk to your wife to stay away from her friends if she really needs her marriage.

I will also plead with you to further your education if you have the means and resources.

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Obaa Yaa

My friend has taken over my girl friend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

SOMETIME ago, I met a pretty girl, but I was too shy to approach her, so I asked a friend to talk to her on my behalf.

My friend came back and told me that after talking to the girl, he learned that she was no good so I should forget about her.

My friend, who is a born again, is always in the girl’s company. When I tackled him about it the first time, he told me that he was trying to get her to change.

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They are almost inseparable now and my friend has been avoiding me. I want to confront him in the presence of the girl and embarrass him.

Will I be justified in my action?

Opoku Oware, Accra.

Dear Opoku Oware,

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I WOULD not resort to any confrontations if I were you; it will only make you more miserable.

Admittedly, your friend did not behave well because in a way, he has betrayed you.

But don’t forget that he was under no obligation to chat up the girl for you, so don’t blame him.

The next time you see a girl that you fancy, just teem up confidence and bold­ness and walk up to her.

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