Obaa Yaa
Can l marry from this family?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I fell in love with a beautiful lady who has the qualities of a good mother. All this while, we have made feverish preparations towards getting married as soon as our financial conditions improve.
Unfortunately, my father has revealed to me that my marriage to the lady would not be possible because he had had a long relationship with an aunt of my fiancé.
Since this revelation, l have not been able to sleep or eat. It looks as though my world was going to crumble within days and life did not mean anything to me.
I deliberately brought my aunt into the discussion so that she could convince my father to change his view. Despite all persuasions he has failed to change his mind.
What shall l do since my father is adamant, and this lady is very dear to my heart and l cannot do without her?
Frank- Koforidua.
Dear Frank,
Culture is an integral part of our lives, as such we must adhere to the cultural practices of our areas.
Since your father was in relationship with your fiancée’s aunt, it would not be prudent for you to marry the lady of your heart.
This explains why it is necessary for family elders to do thorough background checks of prospective members who intend to marry. Such elders look for possible problems to ensure that a good decision is taken.
Try to find out if it would be possible to offer sacrifices to appease the gods, or reverse whatever infringements that might have been committed.
Until such options are complied with, you cannot marry this lady of your heart.
Obaa Yaa
She says the girl is not my child
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My name is Amos, I am not married but have one child who I cater for. Just recently when I sent my child weekly money for her upkeep, her mother asked me not to bother.
She said that the child was not mine and that she was prepared to pay for everything I have spent on them.
Obaa Yaa, life around me now is hell. I can’t come to terms with what she is telling me after taking care of my child for six years.
Obaa Yaa, what can make a woman behave like this? What should do?
Amos,
Kwahu.
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Dear Amos,
I am really sorry for you. However, it is good that this woman is saying something you have not investigated and know for certainty if the child is yours or not. That will keep your mind at rest.
Take a lawyer and send the matter to court. The court will most certainly order a paternity test where you can know your stand as to the parentage of this girl.
If she is yours, you can take legal steps to claim her from the dishonest mother. If it is proved that she is not your child, then you can make your lawyer prepare a bill for the woman to reimburse you for all you have spent on the child.
Obaa Yaa
I am barren, my husband has impregnated girl, 18
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 40 years old married for 10 years. I have been to so many hospitals in the country, herbalists and even to spiritualists for a help in child bearing, but to no avail.
My problem now is that, I have just been hinted that my husband has impregnated an 18- year old girl.
He does everything for her. Even though he has not neglected me, I am very hurt, and what can I do?
Akua,
Koforidua.
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Dear Akua,
IT is always good for everybody to investigate what he or she hears before whole-heartedly accepting it as a gospel truth.
Most rumours are peddled about people but they turn out to be false.
Anyhow, let your husband know, what you have heard and let him react to it. You may found out that it is a different story altogether.
However, if it turns out to be true, then it means your husband has not lived up to his marriage vows, and depending on what your religious principles and emotions are, you might advise yourself.
Another option is to stick to your husband and continue seeking a child of your own.
Don’t get stressed out though, take it cool and seek diligently for yours. One day, you will have the last laugh.
