Obaa Yaa
Can l trust him?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have gone through challenges in our friendship which has spanned five years.
Having received complete endorsement from relatives, friends and people who have our matter at heart, everything was pointing to a pleasurable marriage life.
At the beginning of the year, my fiancé came to inform me that he would like to officially inform my parents about his intention to ask for my hand in marriage.
My parents were glad to receive this information and feverish preparations were made for the performance of the forthcoming customary rites.
This information has gladdened my heart and it has intensified our love for each other. We spent more time on the phone and devoted more time to share interesting moments.
Surprisingly, my fiancé has stopped calling me and has failed to visit me at work and at home.
My fear about his character intensified when l realised that my calls to his line could not go through but when l tried a different number, he picked.
When l enquired from him why my calls could not go through, he explained that he had a challenge with his cell phone, but l realised that there was a problem with our relationship.
In summary, my fiancé has married about three months ago without an explanation.
Should l take action against him?
Dorothy, Tema.
Dear Dorothy,
Naturally you ought to be disturbed because of the heightened expectations your fiancé had generated in your family. Your parents, relatives and well-wishers must have been disappointed in the turn of events.
l can envisage the copious tears you might have shed because of the unfortunate incident.
The relatively short period your fiancé has taken to marry, implies that he must have been monitoring you and this lady who is now his wife.
It is essential for you to know the reason for which he has settled on another person instead of you.
This information would help you to amend whatever you might have done wrong which must have informed your fiancé’s decision to marry a different person instead of you.
Obaa Yaa
My husband is seeing another lady
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I dated my husband for two years and got married few months ago because I was pregnant and didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock.
At the time I realised I was pregnant, another lady was also pregnant for him but the lady insisted on terminating the pregnancy and because he needed a child, he asked me to keep it and pleaded that he will not cheat on me again.
Now I have a baby girl and the issue is that he hides basically everything about him from me including his phone.
We are basically living like roommates but he provides food for the home. I am still in school so I want to go for family planning till I complete school and get something to do for myself because I don’t want to fully depend on him again.
Please I need an advice whether to go for the family planning or not and should I inform my husband?
Kakyire, Tarkwa.
Dear Kaakyire,
I understand what you are going through and feel your pain. I am pleading with you to be patient when handling issues like this.
Kindly have a discussion with your husband and voice out your frustrations and everything you are going through to him.
Make amends and apologise to each other. Begin this year on a fresh note.
I would advise you to go for the family planning methods in order to complete school without another pregnancy.
Finally, continue to pray and commit your marriage into the hands of God.
Obaa Yaa
My wife has put on weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.
She looks entirely like a different person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.
I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.
I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.
I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.
Mr Owusu,
Techiman.
Dear Owusu,
You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.
People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.
If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body changes are meant to happen.
You cannot tell an elderly woman to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.
You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.
And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.
It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.
If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expecting. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.
Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.
