Obaa Yaa
Childlessness likely to push us apart
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We are in our sixth year of marriage with lots of love for each other.
We have many friends who love us and are always around to lend a hand of support in whatever we do.
Unfortunately, we do not have children, a situation which has the possibility of pushing us apart due to the frequent comments and attacks from people.
Although my husband has not personally complained to me, a close relative of his told me his parents keep asking for a grandchild.
He seemed not to be concerned for now, however, the frequent disturbances could degenerate into serious problem for me.
Checks at the hospital have not produced any good results. What should l do? Should we adopt or go to a fertility hospital for an invitro- fertilisation? I am worried.
Vida, Accra.
Dear Vida,
The problem should not be laid on your head alone but it rather calls for concerted efforts from the two of you to solve it once and for all.
The decision to write to this column explains how worried you are and you ought to know that you are not the only family being confronted with such a problem.
Some couples had stayed either eight, 10 or more years before conceiving. However, the problem was solved through regular check-ups with the assistance of a gynaecologist specialist.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
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