Obaa Yaa
Demand for sex is pushing us apart
Dear ObaaYaa,
We have been in a stable relationship for a couple of years now and have planned to be together when we are done with our studies and have secured jobs.
Being youth leaders at church and very influential persons, we have decided to abstain from sex as our faith demands and not to live an immoral lifestyle.
We have held unto this agreement for the past years until recently when my friend completed his national service and started living a different lifestyle which is a clear departure from the old.
He is always demanding for sex and threatening to cause separation should l refuse to give in to his sexual demands.
I am surprised about his sudden changed lifestyle and the pressure he is mounting on me. Should l give in to demonstrate my love for him?
Cynthia, Koforidua,
Dear Cynthia,
This column commends the two of you for the wise and bold decision you took when you commenced your relationship. It is rather unfortunate that the ideals you stood for are beginning to fizzle out with time.
Many factors could be working on your friend’s mind and forcing a change in his behaviour. He could have been exposed to some new friends whose ideals might have influenced his lifestyle, so the incessant demands he is making on you.
It is advisable to hold onto your faith and remember the Bible verse which says that your body is the temple of God, therefore, you should preserve it for that purpose.
There is no guarantee that he genuinely loves you and would marry you in future. There is no hurry in life for that matter you must be patient until the appropriate time comes.
You should not be intimidated by his threats to cause separation in your relationship. Life has in store better days with good prospects, provided you are prepared to obey and wait on the lord.
Obaa Yaa
Text message exposes my boyfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.
Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.
I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.
He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.
My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.
I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.
Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.
I read the message when he was having his bath.
Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.
How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?
Abrefi, Tesano.
*****
Dear Abrefi,
I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.
I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.
He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.
This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.
In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.
Obaa Yaa
My boss is tormenting me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.
Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.
In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.
Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.
I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.
Joe Boy,
Ashiaman.
******
Dear Joe Boy,
I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.
Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.
If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.
