Obaa Yaa
Financial requests are overwhelming
I am a lady in my late thirties. My biological parents are alive and kicking but none of them seems to care about whatever happens in my life. I do not live with them at the moment as I have managed to secure a job and now live at my own residence in another town.
They do not seem concerned about my wellbeing. All they do is ask for money anytime they call me on phone. Although they both played their roles in the early stages of my growth, I managed to further my education to the tertiary level without any financial support from them. In the past months, I have had different forms of financial request from my mother and father, some of which included the request on me to transfer money for them to complete
their building project, request to support a funeral at my hometown, among other monetary demands.
Since I became an adult, I have never had any form of advice from them on how to live the rest of my life. The financial requests seem to be their main focus and I am beginning to wonder whether I was born purposely for a ‘philanthropic mission’ in my family, especially towards my mother and father. Please advise me on this issue.
Mavis, Adukrom
Dear Mavis,
You sound overwhelmed by the financial commitments you make to your parents and that is understandable especially when your income may not be sufficient to meet all their needs. It is not a bad idea to support your parents as there is blessing in reaching out to them.
However, you should as much as possible respond to the requests that are within your means so you do not feel overburdened. Do communicate your challenges to them in a respectful manner so they understand that you may not be able to meet all their demands.
Obaa Yaa
My boss is tormenting me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.
Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.
In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.
Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.
I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.
Joe Boy,
Ashiaman.
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Dear Joe Boy,
I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.
Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.
If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.
Obaa Yaa
I am in a state of dilemma
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.
My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.
During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.
As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.
I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.
I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.
I am down right now, my marriage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?
Sakyi, Adenta.
Dear Sakyi,
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I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.
Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the incident you saw.
Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.
I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most importantly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.
You can seek the help of a professional counselor and go for therapies with her.
However, if you are not comfortable staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.
