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Good reasons for getting married – Part 2

Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.
Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

 3. Marry because you are mature and ready for it in all ways: spiritual, physical, emo­tional, financial, and psychological.

You must understand the need to be ready and mature for marriage. Marriage is a crucial decision that requires careful consideration and preparation. Spiritual maturity means a strong faith and shared beliefs with your partner (Colossians 3:14).

Being physically mature has to do with coming of age, taking care of your body, and being able to support your partner. Emotional maturity im­plies you can manage your emotions and communicate well (Proverbs 15:1).

Financial maturity means being able to provide for your partner and home. It also means being financially stable (Proverbs 21:5). Whereas psy­chological maturity is about knowing yourself and handling life’s challeng­es (Romans 12:2).

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All these factors help you be ready for marriage. They also help you build a strong, lasting relation­ship with your spouse.

The verses above show that a strong relationship with God, self-care, communication, financial re­sponsibility, and personal growth are key to being ready for marriage.

4. Marry to spiritually and physically help each other.

Marriage is a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman who choose to share their lives together. Spirituality and physical wellbeing are both essential components of a healthy relationship. Couples can enjoy supporting each other spiritual­ly and physically. Here are some ways to achieve this.

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Spiritual help:

a. Share your spiritual beliefs and practices with each other.

b. Attend church services or religious events together.

c. Pray together.

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d. Discuss spiritual teachings and how they apply to your relation­ship.

e. Encourage each other to live a life of kindness, compassion, and service.

Physical help:

a. Exercise together.

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b. Cook healthy meals and eat together.

c. Take care of each other’s physical needs.

d. Support each other during illnesses.

e. Sleep well and create a healthy sleep routine.

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By supporting each other, couples can grow and strengthen their bond in all aspects of life.

5. Marry based on your God-given destiny and assignment in life.

Many believe that everyone has a unique, God-given destiny. It can guide decisions, including whom to marry. Some believe that God has a specific person for each individual. Others believe that God directs and helps them choose wisely.

Ask your marriage counsellor this: Does God have a specific person for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

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Does God have a specific per­son for me to marry, or can I marry anyone?

Marry based on a combina­tion of reasons. These include com­patibility, love, respect, and shared faith, values, and goals. Also, commit to supporting and caring for each other. It can help to seek advice from a trusted marriage counsellor, family members, or spiritual leaders. Also, reflect on your priorities and dreams before deciding.

Marriage can bring you and your partner closer together. You will share the same values and goals for your future. It can help you solidify your relationship and bring a sense of unity.

6. Marry for a lifelong commit­ment and dedication.

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Marriage is a public declaration of commitment and dedication to each other. It shows that you are serious about your relationship and willing to put in the effort to make it work. Many marry to show their commit­ment and dedication to building a life together.

Marriage can provide a legal and social framework for you and your spouse to share your lives, support each other, and celebrate your suc­cesses. It can also create a sense of stability and security for both of you and any potential children you may have.

Finally, the choice to marry is per­sonal and it should be based on your understanding of marriage and your needs, goals, and values.

To be continued …

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Source: Excerpts from ‘Pre­paring for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist

https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCI­ATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)

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When the tides change (Pt. 2)

Psst! Psst! Lean in closer… closer! Now listen, silence is golden, or so they say.

But when the Tale Bearer arrives with news from yonder, that golden silence suddenly turns into a shiny distraction you cannot ignore. So here I am, bearing tales from the gods, hot, fresh and ready for your ears!

Have you heard? Wonder Boy’s new status has him soaking wet like a sponge at a waterpark. And, oh boy, is he loving it! Ehem! Now, he is serenading us with a tune that has gotten us laughing and jeering mockingly ‘Johnny Just Come’, Johnny just come. Hehehe!

Who knew the rulers of the mighty kingdom of Umofia are living it up like royalty, while the rest of us are out here playing catch-up with life? Ah, life, the greatest comedian, always leaving us laughing, but with tears in our eyes.

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Come to think of it, Umofians, the gods are clearly watching over us and this is their way of saying ‘wake up, Umofians! ‘He who does not see the clouds cannot predict the rain’. Well the clouds are gathering, pay ye heed. 

Now, tell me, if our rulers have managed to build themselves a palace in the sky, should we, the children of Umofia, not ask for our fair share of the clouds? Should we not demand our own seat among the stars? Who knows, perhaps soon we shall all be sipping palm wine under the shade, enjoying the breeze together as equals.

Honourable Wonder Boy, if you think you are too small to make a difference, try spending the night with a mosquito. We the Umofians gave you a seat at the table of the rulers to speak on our behalf because we believe in you.

A word to the wise is enough, now show us you are not just another ‘Johnny Just Come, but the one who can stir the pot and serve justice hot! This is your moment, do not let it pass you by!

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Tell your people that Umofians gave them the power, they should remember; power is like salt—use it too much, and it will spoil the whole food. Tell them oo, the people can snatch the power back quicker than a hare can outrun a tortoise.

Ah well! My elders always say, “Home affairs are best kept behind closed doors, not shouted from the public square.” So, I shall take my leave now before I turn into the village crier.

 Until next time, keep your ears open.

With Eyram, the Tale bearer.

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Preparation for your marriage ceremony

A wedding day is one that many dream of—a day filled with love, joy, and excitement as two people commit to a shared future. Yet, the importance of this day goes far beyond the flowers, the venue, or even the vows.

As thrilling as it may be, a wedding is the start of a lifelong journey, not a one-day event.

Before this life-changing commitment, pause. Reflect on your reasons for marrying. Ensure you’re as ready for the marriage as for the wedding. The ceremony is beautiful, but it’s just the beginning.

This chapter will outline steps to guide you. They will help you plan a wonderful wedding. They will also prepare you for your marriage and the adventure ahead.

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With divorce rates high in many parts of the world, it’s more important than ever to make intentional and thoughtful preparations for marriage. These steps aim to show you the way. They cover your relationship from its start to the wedding and beyond.

Practical Steps for Preparing for Your Marriage and Wedding Day

Let’s break down preparing for marriage into actionable tips. They will assist both your wedding day and, more importantly, your future marriage.  

  1. Clarify Your Personal Intentions and Expectations

Take the time to understand why you want to get married. Reflect on questions such as, “What does marriage mean to me?” and “What kind of partner do I want to be?”

Make sure your reasons for marriage go beyond a desire for companionship or society’s expectations. They should align with deeper values.

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  • Set Aside Time for Pre-Marital Counselling

Consider participating in pre-marital counselling sessions. As a marriage and family therapist, I know that counselling offers a safe space. It can help address conflicts, discuss family backgrounds, and develop key communication tools for the future.

  • Communicate Openly About Expectations for Married Life

Discuss your expectations of your roles in the marriage. Talk about financial goals, family dynamics, and career aspirations. Also, consider other factors that could affect your relationship. Open communication helps prevent misunderstandings down the line. Clear communication today builds trust for tomorrow.

  • Align Financial Goals and Habits

Talk about financial matters, including income, spending habits, saving strategies, and financial goals. Money issues often cause marital conflict. So, build transparency and teamwork in this area.

  • Plan for Practicalities Together

Deliberate on living arrangements, daily routines, and other practical aspects of married life. Decide together how household responsibilities will be shared. These actionable conversations help establish routines and expectations that will benefit you both.

  • Establish Boundaries with Extended Family Members

Define healthy boundaries for your interactions with family and their involvement in your lives. Setting boundaries early on will help prevent tension with in-laws or extended family, a common issue in marriage.

  • Create a Shared Vision for the Future

Spend time talking about the vision you have for your life together. Develop a “relationship mission statement” that expresses your shared values, goals, and dreams. This vision will act as a strategic guide for your marriage. A strong marriage is built on a shared vision, not just shared experiences.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). ORDER BOOK NOW: https://selar.co/preparing-for-a-happy-and-fulfilling-marriage

https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych

https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website-psychologist

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https://princeoffei22.wixsite.com/website

COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)

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