Obaa Yaa
He likes French kissing in public
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for two years to a white man I met during a party at a friend’s house.
My husband and I have no problem. We get along so well and he adores me but I can’t stand the way he always wants to hold me and kiss me just everywhere.
At the market, in church, at home, oh my God! I am not used to this kind of thing.
Even if it were ordinary pecks I could contain them but he insists on a French kiss.
Obaa Yaa, I do not want to let him feel like I don’t love him by complaining about this habit but what else can I do to let him stop.
Obaa Yaa please advise me!
Cynthia,
Accra.
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Dear Cynthia,
YOU have to explain rather lovingly to your husband that your culture is quite different from his, and that what may be acceptable in Europe and America may be seen as taboo in Africa.
If he is a reasonable fellow, I think he would understand. Try to get him to understand you without giving him cause to feel you don’t love him.
When you have your privacy, show him all the love you can dispense, so that he’d be satisfied and convinced that you love him dearly, after all.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
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Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
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Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
