Agoo! Agoo! Korkorkor! Hear ye, hear ye! Umofians, gather round! It is another glorious day in the land, and I, the tale-bearer, come bearing news hotter than a fi­ery coal from the blacksmith’s forge!

Like the King of the jungle return­ing from a triumphant hunt, the First Gentleman’s return has been loud, bold, and impossible to ignore. Whew! What a comeback, Umofians! Who would have thought that a one-term wonder could make such a glorious return and send the mighty ‘Osono’ running faster than a squirrel at a hunter’s sound?

Ah! How the wheels of time some­times spin faster than lightning bolt striking the ground! This is indeed a tale for the Pied Piper, the bards who sing of legends, and every tale-bearer who spins a tune so wild, even the gods would lean in to catch a word!

But wait ooo, Umofians! The victo­ry drums have barely finished echoing, yet the village square is buzzing loud­er than bees in a palm wine calabash, hinting at trouble brewing in the land.

Eii! Eii! Eii! Who knew such a sim­ple act could whip up such fiery storm in Umofia? It seems the First Gentle­man’s swap to the ‘Dzata Chariot’ of his Kingsman instead of the ‘Umofia chariot’ has sent ripples through the land. Now, the mighty ‘Osono’ are charging in, trunks ablase, and ready to take the drama to new heights. Indeed, what goes around does come around.

You see, aeons ago, I was lounging under the village baobab tree, savour­ing my sweet ‘sobolo,’ when news swept through Umofia like a brisk wind. Dearest old ‘King Sakora’ had decided that the old village chariot was a tad outdated!

After all, when one is seeking comfort and perhaps a little shower in the skies, why settle for an old chariot? Ah, the extremes one can go when they need a little extra space to bathe in the sky! But, why linger when the mighty ‘Osono’ has been sent packing?

Well, as we Umofians cling to our stools under the village baobab trees, with eyes squinting at the skies like hawks on the hunt, one might won­der: Are the skies ahead smooth for the ‘Akatamanso’? Or are we in for a bumpy ride full of twists and turns? Only time will tell, right?

In the meantime, whispers from the chief linguist indicate that the First Gentleman will continue soaring in the Dzata chariot. After all, when you have a Kingsman with a chariot, why bother with the village one?

First Gentleman, welcome back to the throne! Your return has indeed been as loud as a lion’s roar in the vil­lage square, turning heads and drop­ping jaws. We, the Umofians, wish you well; may the gods guide your path and perhaps send a little rain to cool things down.

Ehem! A gentle nudge to the ‘Os­ono’; those who live in glass houses should not throw stones, especially when your own high-flying bath antics have been the subject of village gossip! Or is this just a classic case of ‘do as I say, not as I do’? It seems the ‘osono’ is so eager to call the Akatamanso black, it’s forgotten it is brewed in a blacker pot!

Until next time, stay tuned, Umo­fians! The skies are full of stories yet to unfold, and who knows what storm clouds might gather next?

To be continued………..

With Eyram, the Tale Bearer

 GONG! Gong! Gong! Gong! Fellow Umofians! I bring you good tid­ings from our forebearers! It is another day in our great land!

Umofians, there is good news from the village square! Hear ye, good people! Good deeds are like perfume, wafting sweet fragrances to our nos­es. You see, I recall market tales of a boy wonder, providing good roads, water, clothes, and food, making life comfortable for his community. Today, he stands before us ready to serve his people at the national level.

A big Akwaaba to this boy won­der! And as we the Ewes say, Woezor! We Umofians have long since heard of your good deeds and sung your praises! And now, as the winds of change sweep through the community, they carry the whispers of gratitude, louder than the rustling of harmattan leaves! Ayekoo! Indeed, no sun sets without its histories and you have written yours in golden letters. Y3 ma wo amo! Well done!

Speaking of change, Umofians, have you noticed how opinions can shift faster than Accra traffic during rush hour?

Ehe, I remember vividly that we were in this country when this boy wonder, now our illustrious lawmaker, was the self-appointed ‘Siren Police,’ vehemently opposing MPs for the use of sirens on our busy roads. But now the tides have changed, fellow Umo­fians, our rhythms are beating differ­ently and we are singing a new tune. Indeed, life has a funny way of tooting its own horn… literally!

Buckle up, Umofians! Here is what you missed.

Breaking news from the village square: our newest Honourable member has had a change of heart! It seems he has traded in his ‘Siren Po­lice’ badge for a dispatch rider’s hel­met. Why, you ask? He had a sched­uling conflict – attending the 92nd National Convention (Jalsa) of the Ahmadiyya Muslim at Gomoa Pomadze and parliamentary duties on the same day. Talk about multitasking!

Fellow Umofians, it seems the tides have indeed changed and so has our Honourable member’s tune! They say the wearer of the shoe knows where it hurts the most and now our Honourable member is feeling the pinch!

You see, it is ridiculously easy to play judge when you are sitting on the sidelines, sipping on a cold bottle of ‘Club Beer’, and watching the game unfold. But what happens when you are suddenly thrust into the hot seat?

Perhaps our dearest newest boy wonder has found out. After all, noth­ing screams “I have seen the light!” quite like being stuck in the mother of all traffic jams, late for a meeting. Suddenly, the wail of sirens seems like a symphony of efficiency. Honourable, your dramatic U-turn is a classic tale of “if you cannot beat them, join them.”

Until next time, stay vigilant and keep smiling!

To be continued……

 ^With Eyram,  the Tale Bearer