Relationship
How to make your man feel special
Repair the broken item for him
Fix something for him, so the repair doesn’t require him to endure the hassle of doing it himself. It doesn’t need to be anything major such as getting the brakes on his car. The fix could be as easy as having that drill repaired or replacing the damaged battery of the watch.
As men are known to forget all the tasks they have to do at the final minute, he’ll be grateful to you for doing the work for him, because despite having to, he is aware that he’ll never complete everything he’s got to. In addition, he’ll be thinking of you each time he makes use of the things you’ve repaired for him and boast about the competent and trustworthy girlfriend you are to all his buddies.
Make him feel special by inviting him on a date
It’s typically him who surprises you with new date ideas, So why not try to surprise him? Both of you have been working all week, and when the weekend comes around and you can turn his invitation to dinner at an expensive hotel off and instead invite him to your home to eat dinner.
Do not inform him of your plans beforehand and let him be caught completely off guard by the efforts you put into planning an unforgettable evening with great food, candles, and his favourite music.
Buy him flowers
Another reason is why it has to be that he showers you with presents and flowers? You can break the tradition by taking flowers to him personally or any other type of plant that can ease some tension and bring it to his office. Men love flowers- they also have a sense of scent (no matter how they are).
Bring food to him in his home
Nothing says “I love you” more than as much as steaming Papa John’s pizza, or buying an ice bucket filled with his favourite flavour of Ben & Jerry’sV, because haven’t we all ever heard of it? The path to a man’s heart lies through the stomach.
Make sure to find something on his bucket list and do it for him
We all had bucket lists as children that we never got around to finishing, so find the one you have and then set your sights to achieve something. For instance, you could watch the sunset or lie in the night with him. He’ll not forget going the extra mile to achieve something you wanted to do badly.
Find the ingredients for his most-loved cocktail and have them waiting when he returns home
Sometimes just a drink will suffice to relax and let his mind drift off after a tiring working day. And his preferred drink can make the experience more enjoyable.
Take a day off
A day or two later, without reason whatsoever, you’ll take a sick call and encourage him to take a sick call also so that both of you can have a day watching films together, eating food at a restaurant, and spending time with each other.
Write him a note
Make notes to him and put them in his pocket or in his day planner so that he can locate them later and be reminded of the person who wrote them. As cheesy as it sounds, however, the right words could assist him in navigating difficult days.
Source: www.dreamyhub.com
Relationship
Tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships
1. Get to know yourself
Take the time to appreciate yourself and get in touch with your emotions to be able to express yourself clearly and more effectively.
Not knowing how to regulate your emotions and express them healthily can negatively affect your mental well-being.
2. Put in the work
Healthy relationships are not found but built.
A healthy relationship needs commitment and willingness to be accommodating to each other’s needs.
3. Set and respect boundaries
Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want or like in your relationships, but also about letting the people around you know what you appreciate.
Think about and let others know where your boundaries are; respecting your time alone for example.
Doing this can take the pressure off your relationship to commit to anything unrealistic.
4. Talk and listen
All relationships have disagreements and that’s ok. What matters is how you talk and listen to one another.
Listen to understand, rather than listening to respond.
Don’t be afraid to express your emotions or vulnerabilities with people you trust.
5. Let go of control
A lot of life is about how we react to our experiences and encounters. Knowing that you can only really control what you do and not what anyone else does will save you time and stress.
6. Reflect and learn
If you have a healthy way of expressing your feelings, you’re able to react to other people’s in a healthy way. Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset. If you can recognise that, you can communicate it, and build better relationships with others.
Reflect on the relationships that work best in your life, what qualities do these relationships have, and how can you bring these qualities into other relationships?
Relationship
Identifying your non- negotiatables in a spouse
When choosing a spouse, it is vital to identify your non-negotiables. Non-negotiables are the qualities, characteristics, or values that you cannot compromise on in a relationship. They are the deal-breakers that can make or break a relationship. Identifying your non-negotiables requires self-reflection, honesty, and a deep understanding of what you want and need in a relationship.
Why Non-Negotiables Matter?
Non-negotiables matter because they help you identify what you want and need in a relationship. They help you set boundaries and prioritize your needs. When you know your non-negotiables, you can make informed decisions about who you want to spend your life with. Non-negotiables can also help you avoid compromising on your values and principles, which can lead to resentment and unhappiness in a relationship.
Types of Non-Negotiables
Non-negotiables can be categorized into several types:
1. Values-based non-negotiables: These are non-negotiables that are based on your personal values and principles. For example, if you value honesty and integrity, you may not be willing to compromise on a partner who is dishonest or untrustworthy.
2. Personality-based non-negotiables: These are non-negotiables that are based on your personality and how you interact with others. For example, if you are an introvert, you may not be willing to compromise on a partner who is extremely extroverted.
3. Lifestyle-based non-negotiables: These are non-negotiables that are based on your lifestyle and how you want to live your life. A case in point is if you value freedom and independence, you may not be willing to compromise on a partner who is overly controlling or possessive.
4. Emotional non-negotiables: These are non-negotiables that are founded on your emotional needs and desires. Let us say you need a partner who is emotionally supportive and validating, in such a situation, you may be unwilling to compromise on a partner who is emotionally unavailable or unreliable.
5. Spiritual non-negotiables: These are non-negotiables related to your spiritual beliefs and values. If you value spirituality and faith, you may not want to compromise on a partner who does not share your spiritual beliefs.
How to Identify Your Non-Negotiables
Identifying your non-negotiables requires self-reflection and honesty. Here are some steps you can take to identify your non-negotiables:
1. Reflect on your values and principles: What is most important to you in life? What do you stand for?
2. Think about your past relationships: What did you like and dislike about your past partners? What were the deal-breakers?
3. Consider your lifestyle and goals: What kind of lifestyle do you want to lead? What are your goals and aspirations?
4. Make a list: Write down your non-negotiables and prioritize them.
Prioritising Your Non-Negotiables
Once you have identified your non-negotiables, it is crucial to prioritise them. Not all non-negotiables are created equal, and some may be more important to you than others. Here are some tips for prioritising your non-negotiables:
1. Rank them: Rank your non-negotiables in order of importance.
2. Categorise them: Categorize your non-negotiables into must-haves, nice-to-haves, and deal-breakers.
3. Consider the consequences: Consider the consequences of compromising on each non-negotiable.
Communicating Your Non-Negotiables
Once you have identified and prioritised your non-negotiables, communicate them to your partner. Here are some tips for communicating your non-negotiables:
1. Be clear and direct when communicating your non-negotiables.
2. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs.
3. Listen to your partner’s perspective and be open to compromise.
Identifying and prioritising your non-negotiables is essential for choosing a spouse who is compatible with you. By knowing what you want and need in a relationship, you can make informed decisions and avoid compromising on your values and principles. Remember to communicate your non-negotiables clearly and respectfully to your partner, and be open to compromise and negotiation.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “AVOID REGRETS IN MARRIAGE: How to Choose a Spouse” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist).
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