I am afraid to date

Dear Obaa Yaa

I am 23-year-old and a final-year student of the University of Ghana.

The frequent cases of husbands and boyfriends killing their wives and girlfriends scare me to fall in love.

Numerous videos with horrifying footages on social media handles have heightened my fears to the point that l have lost interest in falling in love.

Though l had been in relationships with some young men who loved me, l could not date any of them because of the occurrences.

I am scared I might end up being a murder victim.

After recovering from an abusive relationship four years ago, I have finally made up my mind to stay single than to fall in the hands of a wicked lover.

Please, what should I do?

Vida, Accra.

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Dear Vida,

Although there are incidents of abusive relationships, some of which have ended up in murders as you have indicated, couples are making giant strides in their marriages.

Some of them have turned shining examples for others to emulate so do not lose hope.

What you ought to do is to avoid sex in your relationship, since you are not married. Take time to study your lover or would-be partner and pray for God’s direction as you make your choice.

Above all, eradicate fear in your mind that the worse condition will befall you. Stay positive and do not allow the misfortune of others to disturb you.

Text message exposes my boyfriend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.

Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.

I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.

He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.

My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.

I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.

Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.

I read the message when he was having his bath.

Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.

How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?

Abrefi, Tesano.

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Dear Abrefi,

I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.

I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.

He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.

This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.

In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.

My boss is tormenting me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

Ashiaman.

******

Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.