I am afraid to date

Dear Obaa Yaa

I am 23-year-old and a final-year student of the University of Ghana.

The frequent cases of husbands and boyfriends killing their wives and girlfriends scare me to fall in love.

Numerous videos with horrifying footages on social media handles have heightened my fears to the point that l have lost interest in falling in love.

Though l had been in relationships with some young men who loved me, l could not date any of them because of the occurrences.

I am scared I might end up being a murder victim.

After recovering from an abusive relationship four years ago, I have finally made up my mind to stay single than to fall in the hands of a wicked lover.

Please, what should I do?

Vida, Accra.

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Dear Vida,

Although there are incidents of abusive relationships, some of which have ended up in murders as you have indicated, couples are making giant strides in their marriages.

Some of them have turned shining examples for others to emulate so do not lose hope.

What you ought to do is to avoid sex in your relationship, since you are not married. Take time to study your lover or would-be partner and pray for God’s direction as you make your choice.

Above all, eradicate fear in your mind that the worse condition will befall you. Stay positive and do not allow the misfortune of others to disturb you.

My boss is tormenting me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

Ashiaman.

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Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.

Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoying each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my marriage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

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I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the incident you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most importantly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a professional counselor and go for therapies with her.

However, if you are not comfortable staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.