Obaa Yaa
I am disappointed in him
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We became close mates at school, attended lectures together, held discussions, studied and did assignments together. These academic activities were carried out in a frank atmosphere and we were happy we had completed our programmes with good grades.
A year after completing school, we continued to exchange text messages, made regular calls and he visited me a couple of occasions. With time, we continued to share intimate information and it became obvious that we loved each other.
This realisation intensified our way of thinking, how we carried and conducted ourselves in public. We managed to meet after church every Sunday to spend a few moments together.
Unfortunately, l became pregnant but was shocked to hear from my lover that he was not responsible for the pregnancy. He failed to call on me as he used to and even blocked my telephone line. This gave me the reason to infer that my so- called lover did not genuinely love me per the action that he took.
Embarrassed about this unfortunate incident, l had to break the news to my mother who later informed my father.
My parents had to consult his parents to trash out the matter.
I was disappointed in him because it became abundantly clear that he was not sincere in his dealings with me.
The matter was finally resolved and his family had to support me financially until l was delivered of my baby and continued for the upkeep of the baby.
When the dust finally settled, he said he was very sorry for what had happened but l must indicate that l was disgraced and seriously hurt by someone who claimed he loved me.
Jennifer, Accra.
Dear Jenifer,
Mutual love can only triumph in an atmosphere where sincerity plays a meaningful part of one’s dealing with the other person. It means love for one another should be paramount even going to the extent of laying down one’s life for the other.
Certain things happen in our lives to teach us lessons, either to prepare us against challenges in future or keep our conducts in check.
Experience is the best teacher, so goes the popular saying, and having known the true character of your so-called lover, you are at liberty to make a definite decision about your dealings with him.
This unfortunate incident has taught you a lesson which you will never forget.
Notwithstanding this incident, concentrate on whatever you are doing to derive maximum benefit from it.
Obaa Yaa
Under pressure from family to marry
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 38 and single. In spite of the pressure I receive from my mother, I have decided not to marry now until I am financially sound.
It is this same mother of mine who would keep asking me for things even when I am married.
Obaa Yaa, recently my mother actually came to my house with a 10 member delegation from my hometown in the Ashanti Region at dawn.
Their mission was to give me two weeks ultimatum to marry or else they would bring me a wife from the village.
Obaa Yaa, please what should I do?
Akwasi.
Dear Akwasi,
MARRIAGE is not a child’s play. I understand the fact that you want to be financially sound to decide on marriage.
You are not getting younger so try to give ear to what your mother is saying.
No one can force you to marry against your will. Get to your mother with a respectable elder and let her know that she is embarrassing you with her unwarranted demands.
Assure her that in your own good time, you would get married and that you are not prepared to accept any imposition.
Obaa Yaa
He forcibly kissed me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am a 20-year-old girl and a virgin. I have made up my mind not to have sex before marriage or involve myself in any immoral acts.
Interestingly, when I turned 25, I met a man who was in his early thirties doing so well with business.
He is very kind, lovely, faithful, caring, humble and God-fearing.
We began dating for some time and because he didn’t ask for sex, I concluded he was the right man for me.
One holiday, we decided to hang out. He proposed marriage to me, when I said yes, he forcibly kissed me.
Looking at things, I am afraid that he will one day forcibly have sex with me.
Should I go on with this relationship?
Annora, Sunyani.
Dear Anora,
YOU are growing and you should be able stand by the decisions you take.
Once this man has forcibly kissed you, what he intends to do next is to have sex with you.
He might be a good man so don’t end the relationship because of the incident that happened.
If you are not ready to marry, do not accept any love proposal from a man.
If you are also interested in him, kindly tell him to do the needful before any other thing.