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Obaa Yaa

I am hurt by his actions

Dear Obaa Yaa,

As teenagers, we attended the same Senior High School and became close friends after some years.

Having gotten satisfied with the hope that we could spend our lives as a lovely couple, we planned to tie the knot.   

Unfortunately, l lost my father through a fatal motor accident and this had affected our scheduled wedding.       

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We had no choice but to reschedule our wedding to enable me to concentrate on my father’s funeral.

He stood by me during our period of grief through to the burial of my late father. 

During the period, l discovered that my fiancé had changed since he did not have time for me as he used to.

When l complained about change in his attitude, he told me that he wanted me to relax after l was done with my father’s funeral.

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At the time the dust had settled for us to get back to serious business, my fiancé had changed and did not have time for me again.

The change in attitude gave me the premonition that there was something bad going on in our relationship.      

Three weeks ago, l deduced from his statement that we could not live as a couple in the future.

However, l tried to conceal my anger and prayed that things should change.

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A few weeks later, he disclosed to me that he was no longer interested in the relationship because his mother was against it.

l was  embarrassed and  planned  never  to accept proposal from any gentleman in life.

Should l go by my decision?

Tina, Takoradi.                                                                                                                                                                                 

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Dear Tina,

l feel sorry  that but for the demise  of your father, your  scheduled marriage with this gentleman  could have taken place.

It is unfortunate that your relationship has ended this way.

l can envisage the pains  you are experiencing now. Take heart and brace up for a better future because you cannot understand God’s plan for you. This marriage could have ended on a bad note.

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Though l cannot tell how old you are, l must advise you not to shut your doors to any gentleman who may express the interest to marry you in the future.

You are yet to meet your Mr right.

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Obaa Yaa

 My boss is tormenting me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environ­ment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

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Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our com­pany.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

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Ashiaman.

******

Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

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Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are compe­tent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.  

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Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

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As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoy­ing each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my mar­riage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

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Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

**********

I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

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Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the inci­dent you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most important­ly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a profes­sional counselor and go for therapies with her.

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However, if you are not comfort­able staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.  

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