Obaa Yaa
I lost my virginity to my relative
My father is loving, caring and his greatest desire is not only to develop the human resource base of his children, but to enable the youth in the family reach appreciable levels in education.
Irrespective of this laudable intention of my father, I lost my virginity to one relative of mine when l was 14 years old.
My parents used to travel on business trips for about two weeks every three months, during which we were left under the care of our relatives who were older than us.
This elderly relative of mine behaved as though he loved me and had my welfare at heart, not knowing behind his charming smiles and seemingly caring nature was a sinister motive to put me to bed at all cost.
Being an elderly relative who knew much about life and was sexually active, he succeeded in luring me into an active sex life.
Surprisingly, though l am now 23 years old and in the university, he still made attempts to seduce me into having an affair with him.
Since l now resist his diabolical advances, he complains vehemently about whatever l do and resorts to telling lies about me to my parents. He has been able to influence my parents to believe in his part of the narrative, for which reason my parents often blame me for trying to be a naughty girl.
He has discouraged my boyfriend from visiting me with the reason that l am too young and inexperienced to be in a relationship.
I would like to report his conduct to my mother, but l am scared about my parents’ reaction when they hear of this and the likelihood that my father will withdraw the assistance he has been giving him and sack him from the house.
Kindly assist me with an answer to enable me make a decision before the worse happens.
What step should l take in order to deal with this problem?
Mercy, Odumase Krobo.
Dear Mercy,
You must know that your moral life is at stake because of the secret relationship between you and your relative.
The fear is that the frequency of sexual acts between the two of you has the tendency of making you think that the illicit relationship is normal, while it increases your sexual appetite.
As a student in a tertiary institution, you are no longer a child but a matured person who is capable of taking your destiny into your own hands.
This is an abominable act which must be condemned by all and failure to act now will result in consequences you will grow to regret later.
This is an opportune time for you to halt this unhealthy practice before pregnancy sets in to further set the family apart.
You can imagine how enraged your parents would be when they discover this unhealthy relationship between the two of you. Be informed that you will get a fair share of the blame when they get to know.
Your relative must control his libido, know better and should not abuse the good intention of your father and pay him back this way.
Report his conduct to your parents before it is too late.
Obaa Yaa
Text message exposes my boyfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.
Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.
I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.
He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.
My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.
I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.
Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.
I read the message when he was having his bath.
Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.
How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?
Abrefi, Tesano.
*****
Dear Abrefi,
I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.
I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.
He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.
This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.
In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.
Obaa Yaa
My boss is tormenting me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.
Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.
In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.
Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.
I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.
Joe Boy,
Ashiaman.
******
Dear Joe Boy,
I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.
Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.
If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.
