Obaa Yaa
I want a divorce
Dear Obaa Yaa,
After two years of marriage, I have realised that I made a big mistake in marrying my wife. She has become very different from the woman I knew and married; she is so uncompromising.
I have met another girl who is just the type of girl I should have married. She agrees with me on everything and does not harass me the way my wife does.
My wife will not agree to a divorce and my girl refuses to be a second wife. I am caught in a dilemma, because both my wife and my girlfriend are making my life hell. I feel very tempted to leave them both.
Owusu,
Tafo.
*****
Dear Owusu
Maybe you should give your marriage another chance. For all you know, your wife is just as unhappy as you are but she is trying to live with the situation.
Your girlfriend’s attitude now is different from your wife’s and that should tell you that no one is perfect. It should also prove to you that when people are not happy, they behave differently.
Try and communicate with your wife more and discuss your problems no matter how little it might look.
If you make the effort to keep your marriage, you might be surprised at the positive changes that will take place in your life.
Obaa Yaa
She used to see a mallam
Dear Obaa Yaa,
TWO years ago I went and consulted a mallam to help me get a husband. Each time, I meet a certain girl there, but we never talked, not even a simple greeting, because I did not feel comfortable to be seen at a mallam’s house.
Somehow, I started going to church and I stopped going to the mallam.
Can you imagine the shock when my elder brother recently brought this same girl home?
But what even surprised me is that the girl does not give any indication that she knows me.
I am confused because I know my brother will never forgive me if I should be the cause of trouble between them, but I don’t want him to marry someone who got him through foul means.
Please advise me on the right course to take.
T.G, Kumasi.
Dear T.G,
YOU should not be too quick in judging your brother’s girl. After all, you also went to the mallam before giving up to go to church. May be she also did the same thing, and met your brother through a natural way.
Whatever it is, the only way that you would be able to know anything at all is by talking to her, but you will have to be tactful about it.
Mind you, she does not owe you any explanations, because she could turn around to accuse you too.
What is important at this stage is to try and convince your brother’s girl, is if she still goes to the mallam, to give up just like you did. You could even invite her to your church.
Obaa Yaa
She has changed her attitude
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.
She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.
Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.
How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?
C. C, Accra.
Dear C. C,
JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.
And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.
If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.
• Kwabena kwabena in
