I want to be a doctor

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM 17 years-old and have completed Senior High School.My aim is to become a medical doctor and carry out research into diseases which have no cures.

When I told my father of my ambitions, he was happy at first, but a few months ago, he called me and told me that he would rather want me to become a chartered accountant.

I am confused because I have never liked or understood business subjects, but I am afraid that if I refuse, my fa ther will stop looking after me.

What can I do?

Afriyie, Apam

Dear Afriyie,

YOU cannot be a chartered accountant just because your father wants you to be one.

Your interest and performance in the subjects to become a doctor must also be a deciding factor.

So take your time to explain to your father that even though you would want to please him, it will not be in your interest to do so.

If you cannot get him to change his mind, don’t give up.

Use every opportunity you might get to talk to him.

She used to see a mallam

Dear Obaa Yaa,

TWO years ago I went and consulted a mallam to help me get a husband. Each time, I meet a certain girl there, but we never talked, not even a simple greeting, because I did not feel comfortable to be seen at a mallam’s house.

Somehow, I started going to church and I stopped going to the mallam.

Can you imagine the shock when my elder brother recently brought this same girl home?

But what even surprised me is that the girl does not give any indication that she knows me.

I am confused because I know my brother will never forgive me if I should be the cause of trouble between them, but I don’t want him to marry someone who got him through foul means.

Please advise me on the right course to take.

T.G, Kumasi.

Dear T.G,

YOU should not be too quick in judging your brother’s girl. After all, you also went to the mallam before giving up to go to church. May be she also did the same thing, and met your brother through a natural way.

Whatever it is, the only way that you would be able to know anything at all is by talking to her, but you will have to be tactful about it.

Mind you, she does not owe you any explanations, because she could turn around to accuse you too.

What is important at this stage is to try and convince your brother’s girl, is if she still goes to the mallam, to give up just like you did. You could even invite her to your church.

Obaa Yaa

She has changed her attitude

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.

She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.

Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.

How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?

C. C, Accra.

Dear C. C,

JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.

And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.

If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.

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