Obaa Yaa
I’m fed up with this relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 22 years old and deeply in love with my boyfriend who is 25 years old. Secondly, my brother suspected that my lover had moved with many ladies but l did not believe this initially.
Though he is a very loving and caring person with whom l would like to spend the rest of my life with, there were moments l had entertained fears my future plans with this gentleman could fizzle out due to his behaviour.
A few months ago, some friends of mine saw him travelling out of Accra with a different lady. Though he had informed me that he would travel, he fell short to disclose to me details about the trip.
Upon investigations, l discovered that he had travelled with the lady. Though he had denied when l first confronted him on the issue, he later agreed and apologised to me, and l have forgiven him.
After a year, he was seen in an obscure area with another girl and he is back apologising. Should l accept his apology for the second time?
Nancy, Accra.
Dear Nancy,
The repeated actions of your boyfriend shows the sort of person he is and the troubles he will give you as a husband in the future.
His clandestine moves are questionable and should he continue with this kind of behaviour and coming back to apologise, then your heart will probably be troubled if you marry him.
The reason that you are fed up with the relationship should guide you in making up your mind that this marriage will definitely not end well.
Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t respect her mother
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I visited my girlfriend at home, and I was a witness to a hot exchange between her and the mother.
In fact, my girl used such words on the mother that I was compelled to hit her to keep her quiet. She later told me that her mother made her to behave like that.
The surprising thing is that she seemed to be such a respectful person, and was always very polite to my mother and even help her in the kitchen when she visits me.
I have told her in plain language that our relationship is off, but she keeps begging and she has even promised not to quarrel with her mother again.
But I can’t forget the scene I saw and the fact is that, it was not the first time.
Do you think she can change?
I love her, but I want my children to have a respectful mother.
Agbesi, keta.
Dear Agbesi,
LET me say this to you, you took the right decision in ending the relationship because she might not change. However, that is for her to work it out, so don’t let it be your problem.
Even the Bible in Exodus 20:12 has a lot to say against children who are disrespectful to their parents.
You are lucky you found out in time the sort of person she is.
Obaa Yaa
He wants me to be his cousin
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My husband and I got married shortly after we completed senior high school. My mother then bought a ticket for him to go abroad where he went and stayed with my brother.
He went through some kind of marriage over there in order to get a good job, or so he said, and he asked me to be patient.
A few weeks ago, my husband wrote to say that he was coming home with his wife, and that I should pretend to be a cousin. I also heard they have a child.
I can’t do what he wants me to, even though everyone, including my mother thinks I should.
And I don’t want to be his wife only when he comes home. I want to join him over there because that was the arrangement.
Akweley, Accra
Dear Akweley,
Don’t let anyone force you into doing anything that you don’t want to do. If you can’t pretend, then don’t try.When you meet your husband, it is important to let him know how you feel about the arrangement.
And you will have to come to an agreement as to whether or not you want to continue with your marriage.
Whatever decision you come up to will not be easy for you, but do make sure that it is what is best for you.
• Kwabena kwabena in