Fruitful Living
Institution of Marriage in Islam (Pt.2)
Imam Abdulai – Author
Rights and Responsibilities of Husband and Wife in Islamic Marriage
Islam defines the roles and responsibilities of spouses in a balanced way, emphasising mutual respect and kindness.
The husband is responsible for providing financial support (nafaqah) to his wife and family, as mentioned in the Qur’an: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means” (Qur’an 4:34).
On the other hand, the wife’s primary responsibility is managing the household and caring for the children. However, these roles are not fixed, and Islam encourages cooperation and shared responsibilities, depending on the circumstances of the family.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised husbands to treat their wives kindly: “The best among you are those who are best to their wives” (Tirmidhi, 1162).
This underscores the principle of mutual kindness, respect, and care that must be the foundation of every Islamic marriage.
Criteria for Selecting a Spouse in Islam
Islam provides clear guidance on the criteria for selecting a spouse, ensuring that the foundation of the marriage is based on piety, character, and compatibility.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “A woman is married for four reasons: her wealth, her family status, her beauty, and her religion. So marry the one who is religious, may you be blessed!” (Bukhari, 5090; Muslim, 1466).
This hadith further indicates that while wealth, beauty, and family status may be factors in choosing a spouse, the most important consideration should be religious commitment. A person who is deeply connected to their faith is more likely to maintain a strong moral character and fulfill their responsibilities in marriage.
For men, the Qur’an provides guidance on selecting a righteous wife:
“So marry those that please you of [other] women, two or three or four. But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one or those your right hand possesses. That is more suitable that you may not incline [to injustice]” (Qur’an 4:3).
This verse emphasises the importance of fairness and justice in marriage. While polygamy is permitted in Islam, it is conditioned upon the man’s ability to treat all wives equally, financially, and emotionally.
For women, it is important to seek a husband who exhibits good character and a strong connection to his faith. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) advised: “If a man comes to you and you are satisfied with his religion and character, marry him. If you do not do so, there will be corruption and great evil on earth” (Tirmidhi, 1084).
The emphasis on piety and good character ensure that the couple will be able to support each other in their religious obligations and build a harmonious household.
Sexual Relationship in Islam and Proper Conduct
In Islam, the sexual relationship between a husband and wife is viewed as an important aspect of marriage that fosters love, intimacy, and emotional closeness.
Sexual relations within marriage are not only lawful but encouraged, as long as they are conducted within the ethical boundaries set by Islam. Allah (SWT) says: “Your wives are a place of sowing of seed for you, so come to your place of cultivation, however, you wish and put forth [righteousness] for yourselves. And fear Allah and know that you will meet Him. And give good tidings to the believers” (Qur’an 2:223).
This verse highlights the lawful and permissible nature of sexual intimacy between married couples. It also emphasises that sexual relationships should be a means of fostering mutual satisfaction, love, and moral growth.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) instructed Muslims to maintain modesty and respect in their intimate relations, stressing the importance of mutual pleasure between spouses.
Regarding sexual intimacy, it is also prohibited for a wife to demand money or gifts before allowing her husband to engage in sexual relations. Islam views this as a form of exploitation and sin. A marital relationship must be based on mutual love, respect, and affection rather than material gain.
Prohibition of Sexual Intercourse during Menstruation
Islam has clear guidelines regarding sexual relations during certain times, particularly when a woman is menstruating. The Qur’an prohibits sexual intercourse during menstruation, stating:
By Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, 1BN – Michel Camp
Fruitful Living
Polygamy in Islam (Part 2)
CONDITIONS for Polygamy in Islam
Islamic law sets forth clear conditions that must be met for polygamy to be practiced. These conditions aim to protect the rights and wellbeing of all involved.
Justice among wives: The foremost requirement is that a husband must be able to treat each wife with fairness and justice. Allah (SWT) warns:
“But if you fear that you will not be just, then [marry only] one…” (Qur’an 4:3).
Justice here encompasses equal financial provision, time, and emotional support. The Prophet (PBUH) said, “Whoever has two wives and inclines entirely towards one of them, he will come on the Day of Resurrection with half of his body leaning” (Abu Dawud, 2133).
This Hadith underscores the importance of avoiding favouritism, highlighting the weight of responsibility a man assumes in a polygamous marriage.
Financial capability: A husband must possess the means to adequately support each wife. Allah (SWT) states in the Qur’an:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has made one of them to excel the other and because they spend out of their property…” (Qur’an 4:34).
Financial capability is essential to ensure that all wives and children are properly cared for.
Creating an environment of mutual respect and consent: While not obligatory, it is encouraged for the husband to seek the consent of his first wife before entering into a new marriage. The example of the Prophet (PBUH) shows that he would always be open and communicative, addressing his wives’ concerns and upholding respect among them.
Responsibility of a Husband in a Polygamous Marriage
A husband in a polygamous marriage has immense responsibility, which requires wisdom, patience, and faith.
Providing equal time and resources: Each wife is entitled to equal time, material provision, and attention. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) would allocate his time fairly, ensuring that each wife felt valued and respected.
Aisha (RA) narrated that he would seek permission before spending extra time with any wife, even in times of illness, to demonstrate his commitment to fairness.
Upholding good character and compassion: The Prophet (PBUH) emphasised kindness, saying, “The best of you are those who are best to their families” (Tirmidhi, 3895). A husband in a polygamous marriage must strive to uphold this ideal by displaying kindness and understanding toward all his wives.
Example of the Sahaba: The companions of the Prophet (PBUH) also practiced polygamy with compassion and integrity. Many of the Sahaba married multiple wives, ensuring that each of their wives was cared for, both financially and emotionally. Their approach reflected their commitment to fulfilling their responsibilities fairly, following the example of the Prophet (PBUH).
(…To be continued)
By Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, 1BN – Michel Camp
Fruitful Living
Cultivating and maintaining Godly relationships (Part 1)
“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”– John 13:34-35 (NIV)
FROM the very beginning, God designed us not to walk through life alone, but to be connected—first to Him, and then to one another. Relationships are the framework of our existence, and the quality of these relationships directly impacts our spiritual, emotional, and even physical wellbeing. But in a world that often distorts the meaning of true connection, we face a challenge: How do we build and maintain relationships that reflect God’s heart?
Today, we will explore the concept of Godly relationships—what they are, why they matter, and how we can cultivate and sustain them in every area of our lives. Whether in friendships, family ties, professional circles, or mentorships, our relationships are meant to be living testimonies of God’s love and grace. As followers of Christ, we are called to live in a way that sets us apart, and one of the clearest ways we can do that is through how we relate to others. Jesus Himself said that it is by our love for one another that the world will know we are His disciples (John 13:35).
WHAT GODLY RELATIONSHIPS MEAN
Godly relationships go beyond surface connections; they are rooted in;
•love,
•service,
•forgiveness,
•and the desire to see others grow in their relationship with God.
Relationships, in all their forms, are central to the human experience. Whether within the family, friendships, work relationships, or romantic partnerships, how we connect with others reveals much about who we are and what we value.
For believers in Christ, relationships are not merely social contracts or exchanges of convenience; they are divine assignments—opportunities to manifest God’s love and character to a world in desperate need of true connection.
Godly relationships are built on;
•Love,
•Trust,
•Integrity,
•and Purpose.
They reflect God’s nature and bring healing, encouragement, and accountability. More importantly, they demonstrate to the world the essence of God’s kingdom, where love, humility, and service to others are paramount. Cultivating and maintaining such relationships is a lifelong endeavour that requires wisdom, patience, and reliance on God’s grace.
The Foundation of Godly Relationships
I want us to dive into several key points that will help us understand what godly relationships look like and how we can nurture them.
1. Godly Relationships Are Founded on Christlike Love
The first and most important point is that Godly relationships are rooted in Christlike love. This is the foundation upon which all other aspects of a relationship are built. When we talk about Christlike love, we refer to the sacrificial, selfless love that Jesus demonstrated. It’s a love that goes beyond emotions and convenience—it is a commitment to care for others even when it’s difficult.
Jesus said in John 13:34- 35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” Christlike love is our testimony to the world. People don’t just see our faith by what we say, but by how we love.
This love is patient, kind, forgiving, and always seeks the good of the other person, as outlined in 1 Corinthians 13.
- By Rev. Dr Joyce Aryee, the author
