Features
Lotto Palaver

My former classmate, Kwame Korkorti, told me recently that the symptoms of modern day diseases like unemployment and redeployment can effectively be stopped using herbal treatment. He also confided in me that if herbal treatment does not prove effective, then one needs to go the lotto way, to avoid weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Korkorti indeed has eleven and a half years practical experience in how to make ends meet. Although he was famous in the 70s as the best kpanlogo dancer of the decade, he was redeployed as a civil servant not too far back.
Faced with the dilemma of where to invest his redeployment benefits, he took the biggest risk in life. He used half the amount on lotto for four consecutive weeks and lost. He then approached a man called the ‘Lotto-Crocodile’ who gave him three sure tips, which were arrived at by the dictates of a ‘timing’ plan.
The calculations could not be doubted and the ‘crocodile’ was indeed revered, even feared, for his lotto prowess. Should Korkorti invest the other half of his benefits into the “3-sure” and damn the consequences?
If he lost, it would be a disaster for him. His wife would leave him, and the landlord would serve him with a ‘quit’ notice, and he would become a ‘Son of Man.’ Moreover, his friends would call him the biggest fool in contemporary times.
Investment
To be on the safer side, he told his wife about his investment plans. She flared up and called him an idiot and a fat-head John-Bull. Korkorti, therefore, recoiled into his shell but decided to stake just ¢1,000.
On Saturday, the three numbers were there in black and white. He promptly divorced his wife for having deprived him of millions of cedis.
Ever since this episode, Korkorti has become a lotto addict, a forecaster, a lotto magician, editor-in-chief of a lotto paper and the chairman of the Sikaman Lotto Winners Association (SLWA).
I heard there is also an association called the Sikaman Lotto Losers Association (SLLA).
Although it is the unemployed who are susceptible to the lotto syndrome, the business is also the pre-occupation of people from all walks of life-business executives, secretaries of state, assemblymen, fetish priests, pastors and evangelists, beggars and koose sellers.
In fact, lotto transcends all occupations and professions in such a way that both the rich and the poor are perpetually engaged in making money out of mechanised lotto, VAG-West or Lucky Scratch whose scarcity in the metropolis does not merit the numerous adverts on television.
Some people are born lucky and can win lotto 20 times in a year. Others like myself have been born to lose.
The last time I came close to winning was in 1983 when hunger in Sikaman was quite normal to the natives. It was the era of famine when man, wife and children had only one hard coconut for supper and got ready to develop jaundice. It was at that time that I got a “2-sure” tip from a very reliable but clandestine source. The mathematical solution of the problem was arrived at by permutation and combinations, backed by calculus and lotto matrices. The two numbers were unfailing.
I told two close friends about it and they staked heavily like I did. After I had kept the tickets safely in a notebook which l locked away in a fortified drawer, I quickly began figuring out a budget based upon the amount l’d win at the week-end.
I planned to purchase one maxi bag of rice, I’ll order yams from Kasoa, beans from Kordiabe and palm-nuts from Larteh. I’ll purchase a table top fridge (since l enjoy iced water so much), a portable sound system and a diplomatic shoe. I apportioned the amounts I’ll remit to my mother, my old-man, brothers, sisters and two friends.
I became so obsessed with this lotto palaver that I could hardly sleep at night. As the week-end approached, the excitement grew so much that I began feeling quite uncomfortable.
Come 5.05 p.m. on Saturday. My heart started beating violently when the Club Beer advert came clear on the air. It was only seconds away and I would be richest man in a time of scarcity and acute hunger. I dashed for my pen and paper.
The numbers were being mentioned by a deep-throated announcer: “And now, the numbers… “My heart beat like that of a marathon runner as I wrote them down, my fingers trembling. The first three numbers did not include my “2-sure” tips. But I was reassured when the fourth was one of mine.
I was ready to leap into air when the last number called was nowhere near my other number. I had lost, and immediately started thinking about where my supper would come from.
That was the day I vowed not to stake lotto again in my life. Lotto can be a good servant and also a bad master. It has been the fertile ground for some people and the downfall of luckless others. It has made some rich and also impoverished others. It has solved problems in families and caused problems in families.
Anyhow, it is the surest way of getting rich without getting into trouble with revolutionary laws. This is because with lotto, you can become an instant millionaire without dipping long fingers into public funds.
Some people say lotto is a vice. Well I do not consider it as such, but of course, it depends on the angle from which one views the game. Although I no longer stake lotto, I’ll be the last to advise anybody against it. It may be somebody’s saviour, who knows. Moreover, it is a way of taxing people for national revenue without, realising they being taxed.
In fact they pay the tax without force, and some gain therefrom. It has also been a source of employment for many, like lotto receivers and agents.
The only problem with lotto is that it is a time-wasting venture to which most workers concentrate all their attention instead of attending to official duties.
Productivity falls, because from the Managing Director to the cleaner, everybody is either busy calculating a certain mathematical progression or discussing the potency of a ‘machine’ number.
True to it, in an eight-hour working period per day, a typical lotto addict uses two hours to think about family problems, one hour for financial worries, and three hours to forecast winning numbers. The remaining two hours are shared between working on the job and relaxing. No country progresses with such work schedule.
Perhaps, it would be better if workers rely more on dream-numbers, car numbers and
house numbers instead of machine numbers, shadows, counterparts, addition 90, turning numbers and timing plans. We should not sacrifice productivity for personal gain. We are free to work lotto after closing hours, week-ends and public holidays. All the best in your lotto palaver.
This article was first published on Saturday, October 27, 1990.
Features
Monsieur’s daughter —(Part 2)
David rose and opened the door to the spare room. It was neat, as everything else in the house. He sank into the bed and stared at the ceiling. He had never hoped or expected his life to turn out that way.
Until some 12 hours ago, all seemed to be going well. He had already made a huge impact on his students, and the school. He was doing some extra-curricular work which was bringing in decent, regular income.
He had married a great looking, responsible young lady, and they had been blessed with a beautiful daughter. The future could only be bright.
Yet all that had come crashing down. Gladys had been having an affair with her ex-boyfriend, during her pregnancy when he came to Ghana briefly, and over the last few days, when he returned.
He confronted her with the evidence, and her denial was pathetic. It was over. He had pointed that out to her. Over the next hour he did a systematic review of the changes he would make.
The marriage was certainly over. And sadly, so was the Aboso SSS job. He would take a new major step in the next three months. As he was drifting off to sleep, his wife brought Sarah into the hall to breastfeed her. He woke up to rock her to sleep as usual, and went off to sleep.
The following morning, he left early for Agona Nkwanta, and informed his parents about the latest developments. They were devastated, but promised to back him in every steps he took. He got back to school during the first break and carried on with his work.
He stayed on at work till after seven, renewing application procedures for a Master’s Degree programme in Germany which he had deferred. When he got back home his wife’s parents were waiting. His father-in-law wasted no time to get to the point.
“My son, we came here with a simple, though difficult, task. Our daughter has confessed to us that she has offended you greviously. She went behind your back and had, er, an affair, with a young man with whom she was previously in a relationship. She admits that she was foolish.
She says that her actions do not reflect a lack of respect for you as her husband, or her love for you. We are on our knees, my son, pleading with you to have mercy on her, take her back into your arms and get on with your life as man and wife. I have great confidence in you, that a great future awaits you. I’m humbly asking for your forgiveness, my son.”
“You have spoken well, Daddy. I have great respect for you and Mummy. You have been very kind and helpful to me, since I met Gladys. I regret, however, that I cannot be reconciled to her.
You see, Gladys resumed the relationship with Simon when he returned to Ghana some months ago. She was spending time with him at the hotel at a time when, as far as I know, she was carrying my child. And since he returned to Ghana a few days ago, they have continued to spend time at the hotel.
So this is not a one-off thing. It is a relationship. I’m not going to say or do anything publicly, but the relationship is over. I will give her my fullest cooperation to give our daughter the best of care, but I will certainly move on with my life.”
“I have heard you, my son. Your reaction is both predictable and justified. Here’s what I will do. I will give you a little time to think about my humble petition, and I will pray that God himself will touch your heart to tamper justice with mercy, and save this marriage.”
After this, two delegations from Gladys’s family went to engage David’s family to plead for restoration of the marriage, but he was adamant. They continued to live in the flat, apparently as man and wife, but although he didn’t disclose his plans to her, she knew that he would eventually move out. One morning, as they were leaving for work, Gladys issued an emphatic threat.
“David, my parents and relatives have been to see you, and virtually fallen at your feet, begging you to forgive me for my mistake, and allow us to move forward as man and wife, and take care of Sarah.
But it appears that you are a perfect human being who does not make mistakes, and will, therefore, not forgive mistakes. Okay, you can take whatever step you want to take, but remember I also have an option. I will teach you a very bitter lesson, a lesson which you will never forget till you die.”
David smiled and eased himself out.
A couple of days later, David got home to find that Sarah was not around.
“Where’s Sarah?” he asked her.
“Ah, David” she said with mock politeness, “there’s something I need to tell you. You see, Sarah is not actually yours. She is Simon’s baby. I’m very sorry for misleading you. Really sorry. I’m sure that being a young man, you will be able to find a nice young woman who will give you children as beautiful as Sarah.”
David stood and stared at her for a very long time while she laughed herself into stitches. Then he stormed out and took a taxi to his parents’ house. After listening to him, his father told him his blunt, hard opinion.
“My son, I want you to brace yourself for a tough time. It is obvious Gladys wants to punish you for rejecting her. She must have thought out her plan well before coming out to tell you.
You may want us to report to the police, social welfare or what have you, but my feeling is that if you play her game, she will string you round her finger for a long time. Therefore, I think you should call her bluff. Ignore her, difficult as it may seem. No matter how long it takes, the child will come back to us.”
“Mama, what do you think?”
“I agree with your dad. Of course, there’s always the possibility that Sarah will actually be Simon’s, but it is highly unlikely. She has just connived with him to steal your child. Let’s ignore her. She will expect you to confront her and so on, but leave her alone.”
“I will do as you say, Mama and Dada, even though it is very difficult. I will ask her to move out of my house. I will stay the night, and go back to Aboso tomorrow morning.”
There was no evidence of Gladys when he got home. She had cleared the house of virtually everything. David replaced some basic stuff whilst focusing on his next move. He found a replacement teacher for the school, and resigned.
Although, he tried to leave quietly, the students, teachers and parents organised a party for him. There was great outpouring of grief as most people had learnt about the circumstances under which he was leaving. As a token of appreciation for his passion for work, the school authorities named the playground Monsieur Park after him. He left for Germany, promising himself to work hard to put the last bitter experience behind him.
By Ekow de Heel
Features
Migraines: Understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options
Migraines are a type of neurological disorder characterised by recurrent episodes of severe headaches, often accompanied by sensitivity to light, sound, and nausea.
According to the American Migraine Foundation, (AMF) over 39 million people in the United States suffer from migraines, with women being three times more likely to experience them than men.
In this article, we will delve into the causes, symptoms, and treatment options of migraines, as well as provide tips on how to manage and prevent them.
What are migraines?
Migraines are a complex neurological disorder that affects not only the brain but also the nervous system and blood vessels. During a migraine episode, the blood vessels in the brain expand, leading to inflammation and pain.
Symptoms of migraines
The symptoms of migraines can vary from person to person, but common symptoms include:
1. Severe headache: A throbbing or pulsating headache, usually on one side of the head.
2. Sensitivity to light and sound: Increased sensitivity to light, sound, and sometimes even touch.
3. Nausea and vomiting: Feeling queasy or vomiting, which can lead to dehydration.
4. Dizziness and vertigo: Feeling lightheaded or experiencing spinning sensations.
5. Aura symptoms: Some people experience aura symptoms, such as flashing lights, zigzag patterns, or numbness, before the headache begins.
Causes and triggers of migraines
While the exact cause of migraines is still unknown, research suggests that a combination of genetic, environmental, and hormonal factors contribute to their development. Common triggers of migraines include:
1. Genetics: Family history plays a significant role in migraine development.
2. Hormonal changes: Fluctuations in estrogen levels, such as during menstruation or menopause.
3. Stress: Physical or emotional stress can trigger migraines.
4. Sensory stimuli: Bright lights, loud noises, or strong smells.
5. Food and drink: Certain foods, such as aged cheeses, citrus fruits, or foods containing MSG or tyramine.
6. Sleep patterns: Changes in sleep patterns, such as insomnia or oversleeping.
7. Environmental factors: Changes in weather, altitude, or exposure to chemicals.
Treatment and management options
While there is no cure for migraines, various treatment options can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes. These include:
1. Medications: Over-the-counter pain relievers, such as ibuprofen or acetaminophen, or prescription medications, such as triptans or ergotamines.
2. Lifestyle changes: Maintaining a consistent sleep schedule, staying hydrated, and avoiding triggers.
3. Relaxation techniques: Stress-reducing activities, such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
4. Chiropractic care: Spinal manipulation and other chiropractic techniques may help alleviate migraine symptoms.
5. Alternative therapies: Acupuncture, massage, or herbal supplements, such as feverfew or butterbur.
Preventing migraines
While migraines can be unpredictable, there are steps you can take to reduce their frequency and severity:
1. Keep a headache diary: Tracking your migraines can help you identify patterns and triggers.
2. Maintain a consistent sleep schedule: Irregular sleep patterns can trigger migraines.
3. Stay hydrated: Dehydration is a common migraine trigger.
4. Avoid triggers: Identify and avoid triggers, such as certain foods or sensory stimuli.
5. Manage stress: Engage in stress-reducing activities, such as meditation or yoga.
When to seek medical attention
While migraines can be debilitating, some symptoms require immediate medical attention:
1. Severe or frequent migraines: If you experience more than 15 headache days per month.
2. Increasing frequency or severity: If your migraines worsen over time.
3. Aura symptoms: If you experience aura symptoms, such as numbness, weakness, or difficulty speaking.
4. Headache with fever: If you have a headache accompanied by a fever, confusion, or stiff neck.
5. Recent head trauma: If you have experienced a recent head injury.
Conclusion
Migraines are a complex and debilitating neurological disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. While there is no cure, various treatment options and lifestyle changes can help alleviate symptoms and prevent future episodes.
By understanding the causes, symptoms, and treatment options of migraines, you can take control of your condition and improve your quality of life.
By Robert Ekow Grimmond Thompson