Obaa Yaa
Many disappointments worrying
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 25 years old, and working in a mining company. I had four unsuccessful relationships, all of which were at the stage of marriage.
Unfortunately, all the plans were cancelled at the final stages of our preparations which gave me emotional problems.
The grace of God has sustained me all these years and l am grateful. Though l kept hoping against hope after the first three disappointments, it was nearly a disaster when the fourth one happened.
l am afraid to accept proposal for another relationship because of the previous problems. The reason being that l am not prepared to endure any further disappointment.
l wish to remain single in order to keep away from further embarrassment. Should l carry out my intention?
Barbara, Accra.
Dear Barbara,
I sympathise with you for the painful way your relationships have ended. Indeed, every sensible person to go through an experience of this sort must be afraid to enter into another relationship.
Despite the misfortunes that had befallen you, pick up courage and do not lose hope to infer that the opportunities in life are lost to you forever.
Importantly, try to examine yourself and find out whether you have a problem which is driving your lovers away from you.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
