Obaa Yaa
Many divorces frighten me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Reading about weddings which took place in the country, and ended up in divorces, send shivers down my spine.
It beats my imagination why two people who had pledged their love for each other in holy matrimony and in the presence of the church, will after a few months or years forget about the vows they took and seek divorce.
Such shocking incidents do not make one desire to marry in the first place. To some of us, marriage looks like an albatross on one’s neck and becomes difficult to remove.
A divorce case which occurred recently was one which involved a relative of mine. l am referring to a couple whose marriage was acclaimed one of the best in my community in recent times.
The couple had given better meaning to marriage and some people looked up to them as role models in the community. Therefore, their failure to sustain the marriage had sent bad signals to some of us who are contemplating marriage.
Ever since l heard about this incident, l have lost interest in marriage and would like to close the chapter on this aspect of my life.
Have l taken the right decision about marriage?
Sylvia, Tema.
Dear Sylvia,
It is always good to make enquiries and this offers you the opportunity to fully comprehend details of things.
Your observation could not be right because you can only infer after empirical evidence had been adduced to establish your assertion. You cannot take a few cases to conclude that majority of the weddings in your area have ended on the rocks, for which reason you should take a stance.
Secondly, one cannot conjecture what might have caused these divorces to take place.
We are created by God differently, and with unique gifts, and talents which were dispensed by the Giver of all good gifts.
In each of the cases, you would be surprised to discover different reasons which had caused these divorces to take place. So you have to reconsider your decision since two different marriages are not the same.
Obaa Yaa
I want to be a doctor
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM 17 years-old and have completed Senior High School.My aim is to become a medical doctor and carry out research into diseases which have no cures.
When I told my father of my ambitions, he was happy at first, but a few months ago, he called me and told me that he would rather want me to become a chartered accountant.
I am confused because I have never liked or understood business subjects, but I am afraid that if I refuse, my fa ther will stop looking after me.
What can I do?
Afriyie, Apam
Dear Afriyie,
YOU cannot be a chartered accountant just because your father wants you to be one.
Your interest and performance in the subjects to become a doctor must also be a deciding factor.
So take your time to explain to your father that even though you would want to please him, it will not be in your interest to do so.
If you cannot get him to change his mind, don’t give up.
Use every opportunity you might get to talk to him.
Obaa Yaa
How do I convince my upset daughter
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Just before my husband’s trip, we tried to squeeze in a quick moment of intimacy. Our children were preoccupied – one was playing outside, and the other was napping.
We didn’t lock the door, thinking it would be a brief encounter. But our 12-year-old walked in on us, which was embarrassing.
We immediately stopped and debated who should talk to her first. Meanwhile, my neighbour called, concerned that our daughter seemed upset after trying to talk to us but we were busy.
We had a heart-to-heart talk with her, explaining that our love for each other is natural. However, she didn’t respond and seemed distant.
Now, with my husband away, I feel uncomfortable around our daughter, who has become quiet and withdrawn.
Will things get better?
Asabea,
Takoradi.
Dear Asabea,
I SUGGEST you give your daughter some time. It is natural for her to feel how she is feeling, especially if it’s her first time seeing such a thing.
It could be that she might be feeling guilty and traumatised for ruining your moments.
However, I will suggest you always lock your doors when you’re about to have an intimacy.
Please teach your children how to respect privacy.
They should knock before entering other people’s rooms.
