Relationship

Marriage is a covenant

Covenant marriage is a sacred and moral commitment between a man and woman

The view of marriage as covenant is that marriage is a sacred union between husband and wife before God. Covenant marriage can be defined as a lifelong commitment between the spouses among evangelical Christians (Cade, 2010).

Marriage as a covenant is a belief that marriage is a sacred and binding agreement between two people (husband and wife).

Covenant Marriage is also considered a sacred and moral commitment between two individuals (man and woman), which involves not only social and legal, but also emotional, psychological and spiritual aspects.

It is a covenant, not just a contract; because it is rooted in a mutual promise to love and care for each other in a lifelong commitment.

This understanding of marriage emphasises the spiritual, psychological and emotional dimensions of the relationship and sees it as more than just a legal or social arrangement.

The idea of marriage as a covenant has roots in religious traditions, such as Christianity and Judaism, which view marriage as a sacred bond established by God. In these traditions, the covenantal nature of marriage is seen as a reflection of God’s covenant with humanity.

However, human’s desires of pursuing life for themselves are challenging the purposes of marriage by God.

A marriage (Christian marriage) is much more than a ‘business contract’ between husband and wife. It is a lifelong, exclusive covenant between two people (a man and woman), of which God is witness. He is present at every wedding! Jesus even says that, whenever a man and woman marry, God has joined them together (see Matthew 19:6 and Mark 10:9).

Here are some Scriptures from the Bible that support the idea of Christian marriage as a sacred covenant:

• Genesis 2:24: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

This verse emphasises the unity and oneness of a husband and wife in marriage, indicating that it is more than just a legal or social contract.

• Malachi 2:14: “But you say, ‘Why does he not?’ Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

This verse refers to the covenant of marriage, indicating that it is a binding agreement before God.

• Matthew 19:5-6: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

In this passage, Jesus affirms the unity and permanence of marriage, indicating that it is a divine institution established by God.

• Ephesians 5:31-32: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the Church.

This verse compares the relationship between a husband and wife to that of Christ and the church, indicating the spiritual significance of marriage.

The above Scriptures suggest that Christian marriage is not just a contractual arrangement, but rather a sacred covenant established by God and upheld by the couple’s commitment to each other and to God.

The concept of marriage as a covenant has a lot of merits. It recognises the depth of commitment required to make a marriage successful and encourages both spouses to take their vows seriously and work together to build a strong and lasting relationship.

Ultimately, viewing marriage as a covenant can help couples to approach their relationship with a sense of reverence, commitment, and responsibility, which can lead to a deeper and more fulfilling connection.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych

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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)

Relationship

Why aunt and uncle relationships are unique?

For the most part, people cannot choose whether or not to have a relationship with their parents. They grow up in the same house, they see each other, talk together daily, and they have an ongoing, hopefully, positive relationship.

Aunts and uncles have more freedom than parents in choosing to develop a relationship with a niece or nephew, and both must be interested in forming that bond.

Aunts and uncles desiring to be close to their nieces and nephews can choose ways to interact with them that will strengthen their relationship

1. Role model

One of the most important roles for aunts and uncles is to be a role model. A role model is someone that influences behaviour just by observing how they act. Aunts and uncles can influence their nieces and nephews just by what they do, without saying a word. Aunts can also show their nieces an example of what they may want to be.

2. Friend

Aunts and uncles can also be more of a friend with their nieces and nephews. An important quality that many nieces and nephews name in their parents’ siblings is their ability to have fun. This friendship allows the aunts and nieces (or uncles and nephews) to be involved in common activities they enjoy, such as sports or shopping.

3. Supplemental parents

One role that aunts and uncles often have that is very important is to act as supplemental parents. Aunts and uncles can be complementary to their siblings by providing additional support, to fill the needs that the parents are unable to take care of themselves. This can include providing another supportive adult that kids can go to, to do their hair before a school dance, or by helping to drive them to all the places they need to go. Uncles and aunts can also reinforce the ideas that the parents are trying to teach, such as the importance of education or being kind to your siblings.

4. Buffers between parents and children

Aunts and uncles can also act as intergenerational buffers. This means that they can help mediate the relationship between parent and child.

Instead of siding with one or the other, uncles and aunts can help each family member to try and see the other’s side of the argument.

Relationship

Love in the dark: Understanding depression’s effect on marriage and relationships

Depression is a common mental health disorder that affects millions of people worldwide. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), over 264 million people suffer from depression, making it a leading cause of disability globally. But what happens when depression enters the picture in our relationships, particularly in marriage?

Understanding Depression

Depression is more than just feeling sad or down. It is a serious medical condition that affects how we feel, think, and behave. In relationships, depression can manifest in different ways, such as:

• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed together

• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns

• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions

• Feelings of hopelessness or helplessness

• Increased irritability or mood swings

• Withdrawal from social interactions or activities

Causes of Depression in Relationships

Some common causes of depression in relationships include:

• The loss of a loved one

• A serious illness or accident

• Divorce, separation, or break-up

• Chronic physical pain

• Feeling trapped or stuck in a situation

• Low self-esteem or bullying

• Trauma or abuse

• Lack of communication or intimacy in the relationship

• Financial stress or difficulties

Symptoms of Depression in Relationships

If you are experiencing depression in your relationship, you may notice:

• Increased conflict or arguments

• Lack of intimacy or emotional connection

• Feeling disconnected from your partner

• Difficulty communicating effectively

• Loss of interest in shared activities

• Feeling overwhelmed or hopeless about the future of the relationship

• Physical symptoms such as headaches or stomach problems

The Impact of Depression on Marriage

Depression can have a significant impact on relationship and marriage, affecting not just the individual but also the relationship as a whole. Some common effects of depression on marriage include:

• Strained communication and conflict

• Lack of intimacy and emotional connection

• Feelings of resentment or frustration

• Difficulty solving problems or making decisions together

• Feeling isolated or disconnected from each other

Seeking Help

The good news is that depression is treatable. If you are struggling with depression in your relationship, consider seeking help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with the tools and support you need to manage your symptoms and strengthen your relationship.

Some effective treatments for depression include:

• Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT)

• Interpersonal therapy (IPT)

• Psychodynamic therapy

• Medication

• Lifestyle changes such as exercise, healthy eating, and stress management

Supporting a Partner with Depression

If your partner is struggling with depression, there are ways you can support them:

• Listen to them without judgment

• Encourage them to seek professional help

• Offer emotional support and validation

• Help with daily tasks or responsibilities

• Encourage self-care and stress management

Depression can have a significant impact on our relationships, but with the right support and treatment, it is possible to manage symptoms and build a stronger, healthier connection with our partners. By understanding depression and seeking help when needed, we can work towards building more resilient and fulfilling relationships.

If you or your partner are struggling with depression, do not hesitate to reach out to us at Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC). Our team of experienced psychotherapists and psychologists are dedicated to helping individuals and couples navigate mental health challenges. Contact us today to learn more about our services and how we can support you.

To be continued …

Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).

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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)