Relationship
Marriage is an emotional union
Marriage can be seen as an emotional union because it involves two people committing to each other in a deep and meaningful way. The emotional connection between spouses is a fundamental aspect of any healthy marriage. Emotional intimacy, trust, and support are all essential components of a happy and lasting marriage.
When two people decide to get married, they are making a commitment to share their lives with each other, which includes sharing their emotional states. This emotional connection can be established through: 1. communication, 2. trust, 3. conflict resolution, 4. shared experiences, and 5. empathic understanding.
1. Communication:
As earlier stated, one of the most important aspects of emotional connection in marriage is communication. Effective communication involves not only expressing one’s thoughts and feelings but also listening actively and empathetically to one’s spouse. Good communication is a key ingredient in building trust and intimacy in a marriage.
2. Trust:
Trust is also a vital element of emotional connection in marriage. Trust involves being reliable and consistent in one’s behaviour, as well as being transparent and honest with one’s spouse. When spouses trust each other, they feel more secure and comfortable being vulnerable with each other, which can deepen their emotional bond.
3. Conflict resolution:
Another important aspect of emotional connection in marriage is the ability to manage conflict effectively. Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but how spouses handle conflict can either strengthen or weaken their emotional bond. Healthy conflict management involves active listening, expressing oneself respectfully, and working together to find a solution that meets both spouses’ needs.
4. Shared experiences:
In addition to communication, trust, and conflict management, emotional connection in marriage is also built through shared experiences and creating a sense of shared meaning. This can involve things like shared hobbies or interests, participating in community service together, or creating traditions and rituals that hold special meaning for the couple.
5. Empathic understanding:
One important component of emotional connection in marriage is the ability to show empathy and understanding towards one’s spouse. This involves recognising and validating one’s spouse’s feelings, even if you do not necessarily agree with them. When partners feel heard and understood, they are more likely to feel emotionally connected and supported.
However, it is important to note that not all marriages are emotionally fulfilling. Sometimes, couples may find they have grown apart emotionally, or they are unable to meet each other’s emotional needs. In these cases, it may be necessary to seek professional counselling. You can contact Counselor Prince & Associates Consult (CPAC) for professional help. Seek professional counselling when you find you have grown apart emotionally, or you’re unable to meet each other’s emotional needs in the marriage.
Marriage is a complex and multifaceted union, and emotional connection is just one aspect of it. Beyond emotional intimacy, marriage also involves spiritual, physical, financial, and social connections between spouses. In a healthy marriage, spouses support and encourage each other’s growth, and work together to navigate life’s challenges.
Marriage can be a deeply emotional, happy, fulfilling and lasting union when both spouses are committed to nurturing their emotional connection and building a strong foundation for their relationship. Spouses in a healthy marriage strive to understand and support each other, even during difficult times. Emotional connection in marriage does not necessarily mean spouses have to share every single emotion and thought with each other. It is okay to have some level of individuality and privacy in a marriage.
It is important to note that emotional connection in marriage does not necessarily mean spouses have to share every single emotion and thought with each other. It is okay to have some level of individuality and privacy in a marriage. However, as spouses, you should strive to maintain an emotional connection by regularly checking in with each other and making time for each other.
Finally, it is vital to recognise that emotional connection in marriage is not a one-time event, but an ongoing process. It requires effort, commitment, and a willingness to be vulnerable with each other. By prioritising emotional connection in your marriage, you and your spouse can build a strong foundation for a happy, lasting and fulfilling marital relationship.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
The role of family and friends in choosing a spouse
When choosing a spouse, family and friends can play a vital role. They can provide support, guidance, and advice, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
In this article, we will delve into the role of family and friends in choosing a spouse and provide guidance on how to navigate their influence.
Cultural and Traditional
Expectations of Family
Family can influence your choice of spouse. They usually have certain expectations or requirements for your partner, and they may also have concerns or reservations about your choice.
Your family may have certain cultural or traditional expectations for your spouse. For example, they may expect your spouse to be from the same cultural or religious background.
They may also expect your spouse to have certain qualities or characteristics that are valued in your culture or tradition.
Cultural expectations can influence our communication styles, conflict resolution strategies, and emotional expression. In many cultures, it is customary to show respect and deference to elders, while in others, it is more common to challenge authority and question tradition.
Social Status
The social status of your spouse may be a concern for your family. They may expect your spouse to have a certain level of education, income, or occupation. They may also expect your spouse to have certain social connections or relationships.
Social status shapes our identities and self-esteem. When choosing a spouse, social status can influence our preferences and priorities. Some people may place a high value on marrying someone with a high-paying job or a prestigious title.
Personality and Character
Family may have expectations around the personality and character of your spouse. Most times, they may expect your spouse to be kind, honest, and responsible. They may also expect your spouse to have certain values or morals.
The Influence of Friends
Friends can also be significant in choosing a spouse. They provide support and encouragement, but they can also exert pressure and influence your decision.
Friends can introduce you to potential partners within their social circle. This can be a great way to meet new people and potentially find a partner. However, remember that your friends may not always have your best interests at heart.
Social circle impacts our relationships. In selecting a partner to marry, social circle can influence our preferences and priorities. For instance, some people may place a high value on marrying someone within their social circle, while others may prefer to meet someone outside of their usual social network.
Support and Encouragement
Friends give emotional support and encouragement throughout the relationship. They can be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. However, it is vital to remember that friends may not always be objective.
Yes, the influence of family and friends is undeniable in choosing a spouse. While their support and guidance can be valuable, it is crucial to know that the decision of who to marry is ultimately yours.
By communicating openly, setting boundaries, prioritising your relationship, and seeking outside help if needed, you can navigate the influence of family and friends and build a strong and healthy relationship.
To be continued…
Relationship
How marital infidelity and excessive arguing lead to divorce
1. Marital Infidelity (Marital Unfaithfulness)
Marital infidelity (adultery) is one of the most significant challenges facing families in our society.
Many divorces are due to (in one way or another) marital infidelity of spouses. In a 2019 study by the American Psychological Association (APA): “Infidelity was found to be the cause of 20-40 per cent of US divorces.”
Infidelity and divorce are very old, yet their levels seem to increase with time. One wonders why people are unable to learn from the past and eradicate infidelity in their marriages—which would, in turn, reduce the divorce rates.
The institution of marriage is based on deep trust between the two partners that enter it. Adultery (marital infidelity) is considered a violation of that faith in each other and a severe betrayal. This violation of trust is not to be taken lightly, as it can profoundly affect both parties and the marriage as a whole.
While many instances of marital infidelity are the results of a volatile family situation, there are also personal factors that can push one to commit adultery. Christians and society see the act as a sin, immoral, and an abomination.
This societal view can put great pressure on individuals, making them feel guiltier and less likely to seek reconciliation, thereby increasing the likelihood of divorce.
In some cases, mental conditions can influence people and lead to self-destructive behaviours such as sexual infidelity.
In such cases, the person typically knows that the act will harm the family but commits it regardless. Marital infidelity as revenge after learning of one’s spouse’s unfaithfulness should also be considered part of this category. Sometimes, infidelity can even push the other spouse who is committed to the relationship into adultery out of the belief that in doing so, they will share the burden.
Marital infidelity, regardless of the reasons behind it, inflicts deep wounds on both parties and the marriage as a whole. The betrayed spouse often feels inadequate and begins to question their worth, while the adulterer is burdened with guilt and mental weakness. These profound effects underscore the gravity of marital infidelity and its potential to shatter a marriage. Looking for personal faults that drove their spouse to act as they did.
Unfortunately, marriages frequently end after adultery is discovered, partly due to the tendency of cheaters (adulterers) to do so repeatedly. Often, this leads to one or both spouses seeing the act as the dissolution of their marital relationship.
Children are likely to be affected adversely as a result, especially because adultery-related divorces tend to end with the adults not being on good terms. Ultimately, adultery (marital infidelity) is highly destructive to marriages regardless of the cause and may often lead to their dissolution in the case that the other spouse learns about the act.
2. Excessive Arguing and Lack of Effective Communication
Most arguments in marriage happen because of a communication breakdown. Excessive arguing and a continuous lack of effective communication have been cited as causes of divorce in many cases. Therefore, improving communication can make a big difference between a happy marriage and one that experiences separation or divorce.
In 2019, a survey conducted by ‘Your Tango’ found the following lack of communication in divorce statistics:
• ‘Communication problems’ is the most common factor that leads to divorce, at 65 per cent
• This was followed by couples’ ‘inability to resolve issues,’ at 43 per cent.
Open and honest communication with a spouse can show trust, respect, and deference to the other spouse’s thoughts and beliefs. Excellent communication can see a relationship through difficulties, while lack thereof could cause a simple argument to escalate into grounds for a divorce.
It is not surprising that a lack of effective communication in marriage leads to divorce or separation in many instances. Given how crucial communication is to a successful marriage, it is better to work on your communication skills or find a good therapist to assist you than to allow situations to deteriorate in your marriage.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “A COUNSELLOR’S GUIDE TO USING ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ EFFECTIVELY” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist).
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COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
