Obaa Yaa
Marriage is not attractive
Dear ObaaYaa,
I grew up in a family of six children in a local community where protection, care and love for one another was the priority.
Though very young, l treasured marriage life and respected couples, especially when l meet them either going to church with their children or going to farm.
Unfortunately, in other communities, the love and desire to wish others well in life and in their fields of endeavours was non-existent. I came across wives who behaved as though they were not married.
These wives normally wait for their husbands to go to work after which they move to their boyfriends to enjoy themselves.
In this new community, l was shocked and rocked to the marrow when l discovered that two wives who were legally married with children indulged in illicit love affairs with other men. What surprised me more was the fact that they did not feel remorse for their actions and the arrogance with which they carried themselves out was much appalling.
These two incidents in Accra made marriage unattractive to me, unclean and impure. This has informed my decision to stay single in order to be free from the troubles and disgrace of marriage.
Do you think my decision is appropriate?
Kofi-Accra.
Dear Kofi,
I think your discovery, though scandalous to many in the community who may be privy to this secret, should not discourage you. This is to give you a glimpse of the sort of immoral acts which persist in society and people are gleefully engaging in it.
I am sure you either grew up with your parents or a guardian whose impeccable marriage lives you should emulate. Do not let the ills in society disturb your plans, but direct your life through the right path and ensure that you pursue it.
Consider the good marriages around you and aspire towards these enviable examples to guide your future.
Obaa Yaa
My mum is always shouting at me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I AM an 18 year-old boy who has lost interest in education following my failure to live up to expectation while in school.
As a result, I have quit school and that has made my mother the saddest woman of this earth.
She has invested so much in my education all by herself and the support of some of my relatives since my father failed to support my education and care for me from infancy.
My mother shouts at me in any conversation and tells me how I want to make her life miserable by not going to school.
I want to learn a trade instead because I am struggling with school.
Odame, Konongo.
*******
Dear Odame,
I believe your mother did all she could to make life easier by giving you the best of education.
If you knew you had no interest in what you were doing, you could have alerted her earlier.
I am happy you have admitted that your conduct is disturbing your mother and making her unhappy.
If she is willing to continue supporting you, try and go back to school.
You can still go back to school and learn a trade.
Obaa Yaa
He is taking advantage of me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I entered into a relationship with a young man when I was at the University. We completed not quite long ago and planned to get married.
However, I find my man’s behaviour very strange.
For the past two years that we have been together, my man has not taken me to his house or introduced me to any of his family members.
I am not convinced about the future of this relationship.
Oforiwaa, Lashibi
****
Dear Oforiwaa,
If the man doesn’t want to introduce you to his family members, then he’s obviously not in love with you.
He has no plans to have any serious relationship with you in future although he might have promised you that.
Whatever he might have told you is perhaps to get you into his bed.
I guess you stated it right. This man might be fooling you. So don’t let him take you for granted.
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