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Obaa Yaa

Marriage is scary

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am always attracted by the nice looks of couples who go out for a walk and engage in programmes to entertain themselves.

Love, tolerance and perseverance are the essential ingredients which make marriage stick together in a memorable bond.

Unfortunately, there are instances of couples taking  these qualities for granted and do whatever they like.    

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I was lucky to be close to my elder sister with whom l shared my aspirations, sentiments and sometimes secrets and sought her advice.    

She was in a relationship with a man who was her senior in the university and who occupied her mind at that time. 

This gentleman was known and loved by every member of the family and some of us were of the view that their marriage would be a memorable one from which others will derive immense inspiration.

I was not surprised when this man approached my parents that he would like to ask of my sister’s hand in marriage and pleaded for a list of items required to perform the customary rites.  

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However, my sister’s expectations fell short of her lover when she informed him that she was pregnant. He suggested that my sister should abort the pregnancy to enable them to prepare a comfortable foundation for a happy marriage.

My sister reluctantly succumbed to abort the pregnancy only to realise a few weeks later that her lover was ready to wed another lady.

The situation has made my sister to develop hatred for men and she has vowed never to entertain any man for a relationship.

Can men be trusted in a circumstance like this?   

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Akosua, Accra.

Dear Akosua,

The abuse of trust as in your sister’s case is unfortunate and should not be encouraged.  Your sister is fortunate to be in a sound mind despite the misfortune that has befallen her.

This gentleman’s character suggests that he was dating two ladies at the same time but took undue advantage of your sister. He should have compensated your sister for the inconvenience caused her.

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Your sister should have asked for compensation from him to commensurate the inconvenience he had caused her.

This gentleman has not acted in good faith and should not be trusted. It, therefore, suggest that your sister will not forgive him if she is unable to conceive because of the abortion.

I would like to assure you that the lives of other couples should serve as a source of encouragement for your sister and she will get a good partner in life.

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Obaa Yaa

 My mum is always shouting at me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM an 18 year-old boy who has lost interest in education fol­lowing my failure to live up to expectation while in school.

As a result, I have quit school and that has made my mother the saddest woman of this earth.

She has invested so much in my education all by herself and the support of some of my relatives since my father failed to support my education and care for me from infancy.

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My mother shouts at me in any conversation and tells me how I want to make her life miserable by not going to school.

I want to learn a trade instead because I am struggling with school.

Odame, Konongo.

*******

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Dear Odame,

I believe your mother did all she could to make life easier by giv­ing you the best of education.

If you knew you had no inter­est in what you were doing, you could have alerted her earlier.

I am happy you have admitted that your conduct is disturbing your mother and making her unhappy.

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If she is willing to continue supporting you, try and go back to school.

You can still go back to school and learn a trade.

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Obaa Yaa

He is taking advantage of me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I entered into a relationship with a young man when I was at the Univer­sity. We completed not quite long ago and planned to get married.

However, I find my man’s behaviour very strange.

For the past two years that we have been together, my man has not taken me to his house or introduced me to any of his family members.

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I am not convinced about the future of this relationship.

Oforiwaa, Lashibi

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Dear Oforiwaa,

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If the man doesn’t want to introduce you to his family members, then he’s obviously not in love with you.

He has no plans to have any serious relationship with you in future although he might have promised you that.

Whatever he might have told you is perhaps to get you into his bed.

I guess you stated it right. This man might be fooling you. So don’t let him take you for granted.

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