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Marriage palaver – Part 2

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Sikaman is always a hot ground for the bachelor who has to sweep his own room, fetch his own water, clean the bathroom, clean the dishes, and of course cook his own banku.

But cooking for instance, does not present much of a problem since the bachelor can forever procure food in the form of Hausa koko, koose, waakye, kenkey and shito, as well as roasted groundnuts from sellers who are constantly playing hide-and-seek with AMA authorities.

The typical bachelor who be­comes an incorrigible patron of wayside food peddlers is normally malnourished due to obvious rea­sons.

Apart from the fact that most food sellers do not give a damn about quality, it may also happen that in the locality of the bachelor, there are only kenkey sellers.

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For eight years running, the bachelor devours kenkey in all its forms and ramifications: kenkey and shito, mashed kenkey with sugar, fermented kenkey (a favourite of al­coholics), and kenkey with pear. The dessert is usually iced water.

If the bachelor’s mother does not take pains to visit him once a fort­night to prepare him ‘home food,’ then of course he will sooner or later die of ‘kenkeymatics,’ which is a disease that attacks bachelors in the Accra Metropolitan Area.

Some bachelors, however, run their home like a pseudo-marriage enterprise. The bachelor has a girl-friend who comes and goes as and when her services are needed. She often spends the night if there is no risk of an earthquake resulting from the clash of rivals.

BACHELOR

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However, it become rather expen­sive running a bachelor home with a commuter girl-friend who must be paid fat allowances for cooking, washing, dancing, sleeping and of course, romance. And if you refuse to provide her with a full-shoe, full-dress, full-chicken and full-jelly curls during X’mas, you’ll never see her tail again except in your dreams.

As it were, it is better to get married because a wife does not disappear just because you cannot afford the ‘fullness’ of everything. Marriage is, therefore, the ideal thing, but how many bachelors can afford to marry without going bank­rupt?

In some parts of Northern Gha­na for instance, if you don’t have four cows it means you can always be assured of dying a bachelor-boy. This is rather unfair to those who do not rear cows and therefore have to purchase four cows with hard cash before getting a wife who will start misbehaving the next day.

In spite of the problematic nature of Sikaman marriages, research has always indicated that married peo­ple live longer than their unmarried counterparts.

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The reason is quite simple. Married life is the most ideal for an adult. In marriage, contrary to most opinions, one is more relaxed, has time to pursue ambitions, and eats balanced diet and much more. Mar­ried people are always disciplined and responsible and are rewarded accordingly.

It is, therefore, rather unfortu­nate that certain marriages are more disastrous than ‘bachelorships’ or ‘spinsterships.’

The process of getting married itself is a time-consuming venture, and is not achieved in a single day. It starts with courtship which is the be­ginning and, therefore, the sweetest part of it.

Boy and girl are usually encased in a dreamland savouring love for each other. Some girls so admire their tall handsome boy- friends that they keep worshipping them and forget about God.

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Some boys also bow to girls who wear spectacles. And both parties want to put up the best of impres­sions. Hot-tempers are regulated with safety valves; the best clothes are worn during dates, and the dain­tiest of manners are exhibited.

During this period, the males miraculously have an inexhaustible supply of cash and the females are also poised to receive gifts before they reciprocate one way or the other, Love letters are written with chosen words that evoke love and overpowering sentiments.

Then comes time for a propos­al that is if that had not preced­ed courtship, because some men propose marriage long before they begin courting.

Proposing marriage can, however, be an awkward part of the whole show, especially when the man is not too sure about what the girl’s response will be.

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The faint-hearted aspiring hus­band, therefore, takes a good mea­sure of mahogany-bitters to sharpen the edge of his tongue with which he is going to deliver the message in phonetical tone.

That way, the girl can never refuse, because with some Oxford accent backed by alcoholic power, the proposal becomes the sweetest music in the ear of a maiden.

Alas, the engagement is no joke. A mediocre engagement ring is around GH¢15,000, and that is only a fraction of the estimated expen­diture. Apart from the presentation of several items that run into many thousands of cedis, the groom must hold a reception for people whose stomachs are specially designed for engagement parties. Such well-wish­ers accommodate every drinkable from palm wine to champagne and will digest anything especially left-overs.

It is, however, often tragic for the groom when invited guests and well-wishers do not donate the mon­ey value far and above the equiva­lent of what they eat and drink. And of course, some quick- witted guests will donate according to the quantity of beer, chips and jollof rice served them.

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An engagement party, therefore, becomes a refined chop bar where you pay according to what you are served.

When the engagement ring is put on the girl’s finger, a certain magi­cal change occurs within her which would be shown in fine colours im ­mediately she gets under the same roof with the man.

And true like hell, problems begin from the financial angle.

The man feels that although he has not yet wedded the girl, she is now a wife who will understand matters when he cannot afford a full-shoe in the face of rising cost of living and the inability of many corporations and companies to pay the minimum wage.

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DOMESTIC

Grudges and grievances are stored in the heart. The woman begins to nag and the man may feel misunderstood. When tension ris­es to breaking point, he must start boxing training for the eventual showdown.

That way he’d not be found lack­ing when it comes to vying for the domestic kenkey weight champion­ship title. If the husband is a south­paw, the situation becomes very dangerous.

Happy marriages are rare in Sika­man. Two out of every five marriages do not travel the entire distance. It sooner or later runs out of steam be­cause of fighting, nagging, infidelity, womanising, arrogance, interference of in-laws, and chop- money palaver.

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My pal Robert Kempes Paani Ofosu- ware observes that happy marriages are those that are run with plenty of cash and everything flowing around.

According to him, “Nagging, fighting, arrogance and infidelity on the part of the woman will cease or become minimised when the house is adequately provided for and the wife is enjoying material wealth.

Contrary to this school of thought, Nii Odai TT, alias Goukouni Weddeye says that money per se is not an important factor. An arrogant and disrespectful girl, he notes, will persist in her obstinacy whether or not she is offered a million cedis, in other words, some girls ate con­genitally stubborn and, therefore, incorrigible.

Dear reader, which of these schools do you sympathise with?

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This article was first written on Saturday June, 2, 1990

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Features

What booze can do to you

Sikaman Palava
Sikaman Palava

Ethanol, the chemical compound present in most alcoholic drinks, is a neurotoxin, that is, a sub­stance that can damage or destroy the nervous system. Someone who is drunk is, in fact, suffering from a form of poisoning.

In large quantities, ethanol caus­es coma and death. For instance, among students in Japan, the prac­tice of ‘ikkinomi, or alcohol chug­ging, causes deaths every year.

The body is able to convert eth­anol into harmless substances, but this is not accomplished immediate­ly. If alcohol is consumed at a faster rate than the body can handle, ethanol builds up in the system and begins to interfere noticeably with brain function. In what way?

Speech, vision, coordination, thought, and behaviour are all connected with an incredibly com­plex series of chemical reactions in the brains neurons, or key cells. The presence of ethanol modifies those reactions, suppressing or enhancing the role of certain neutrontransmit­ters chemicals that relay signals from neuron to neuron.

The stream of information in the brain is thus altered, preventing the brain from functioning normally. That is why when a person drinks too much, he or she develops slurred speech, blurred vision, sluggish movement, and weakened be­havioural restraints and inhibitions, all common symptoms of intoxica­tion.

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Prolonged exposure to alcohol damages the liver

EXPOSURE

With prolonged exposure to alcohol, brain chemistry adapts to counter the poisonous effect of eth­anol and to maintain normal nerve function. This leads to tolerance, whereby the same amount of alcohol has less of an effect than it would have had previously.

Dependence occurs when the brain has adapted so much to the presence of alcohol that it cannot operate properly without it. The body craves alcohol to maintain the chemical balance.

When a person is deprived of alcohol, his brain chemistry is totally destabilised and withdrawal symp­toms, such as anxiety, trembling, or even seizures, set in.

Besides causing modifications of brain chemistry, alcohol abuse can lead to cell atrophy and destruction, altering the brain’s very structure. While partial recovery is possible with abstinence, some of this damage seems to be irreversible.

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Neurons that die are apparently never replaced, further affecting memory and other cognitive func­tions.

Damage to the brain is not just the result of long term exposure to alcohol.

Research seems to indicate that even relatively short periods of alco­hol abuse can be harmful.

LIVER DISEASE

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AND CANCER

The liver plays a vital role in me­tabolising food, combating infection, regulating blood flow and removing toxic substances, including alcohol, from the body.

Prolonged exposure to alcohol damages the liver in three stages. During the first state, the breaking down of ethanol slows the digestion of fats, causing them to build up in the liver.

This is called steatohepatitis, or fatty liver. In time, chronic inflam­mation of the liver, or hepatitis, sets in. While alcohol can cause hepatitis directly, it also appears to lower the body’s resistance to Hepatitis B and Hepatitis C viruses.

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If unchecked, inflammation causes cells to burst and die. Compounding this damage, alcohol seems to trigger the natural system of programmed cells death called apoptosis.

This final stage is cirrhosis. The vicious cycle of continuous inflamma­tion and cell destruction causes irre­versible scarring. Eventually, the liver becomes humpy, instead of remaining spongy.

Finally, scar tissue prevents blood from flowing normally, leading to liver failure and death.

Alcohol’s effect on the liver has another insidious side effect -the liver is less capable of playing its defensive role in counteracting the effect of cancer-forming agents.

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In addition to favouring the devel­opment of cancer of the liver, alcohol greatly increases the risk of cancer of the mouth, the pharynx, the larynx, and the oesophagus.

What is more, alcohol makes the mucous membranes in the mouth more easily penetrated by cancerous substances in tobacco, elevating the risk for smokers.

Women who drink daily are at greater risk of breast cancer. Accord­ing to one study, the risk for those who drank three or more alcoholic beverages per day was 69 per cent higher than that of nondrinkers.

POISONED BABIES

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A particularly tragic outcome of alcohol abuse is its effect on the unborn. “Alcohol is far worse for the developing fetus than any other abused drug,” reported by the ‘Inter­national Herald Tribune.’

When a pregnant woman drinks, her developing chin also drinks and the toxic effect of alcohol is espe­cial, devastating at this format stage of the fetus.

Alcohol causes irreversible damage to its central nervous system. Neurons do not form properly. Cells are killed off. Other cells end up located in the wrong place.

The result, fetal alcohol syndrome (FAS), is the foremost cause of mental retardation in newborns. Difficulties encountered by FAS children include intellectual impairment, language problems, developmental delay, be­havioural dysfunction or deficit, slow growth, hyper activity, and hearing and sight disorders. Many babies are also born with characteristic facial deformities.-Credit: AWAKE

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This article was first published on Saturday, November 5, 2005

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Features

Islamic Position on Illicit Drugs (Part 2)

• Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, the Author
• Imam Alhaji Saeed Abdulai, the Author

In Ghana, the Narcotics Control Commission Act, 2020 (Act 1019), prohibits the possession, use, trade, or cultivation of narcotic drugs without lawful authorisation.

The law now adopts a more public health-based model, emphasising rehabilitation and education while still maintain­ing punitive measures against trafficking and illegal posses­sion.

This opens doors for religious and social actors to play key roles in prevention and heal­ing.

How the Youth and General Society Are Typically Lured into Illicit Drugs;

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One of the primary gateways to drug use is peer pressure. Many young people are intro­duced to drugs by friends who make substance use appear fashionable or as a coping mechanism for stress, bore­dom, or emotional trauma.

In urban slums and some schools, peer groups become influential in shaping be­haviour, particularly when parental supervision is weak or societal structures have collapsed.

Another contributor is media influence—with movies, music, and social media sometimes glamorising substance use. Un­employment, poverty, broken homes, academic stress, and lack of religious education also contribute significantly.

Shaykh Abd al-Rahman al-Sa‘di explains that when faith weakens, individuals seek escape in destructive behaviours. Hence, strength­ening iman (faith) is a critical defence against temptation.

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Rescuing Victims: Rehabili­tation and Social Support

Those who fall into drug addiction must not be con­demned but rather supported with compassion and care. Islam emphasises mercy and hope:

“Say, O My servants who have transgressed against themselves [by sinning], do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Indeed, Allah forgives all sins.” (Qur’an 39:53).

Rehabilitation centres, faith-based recovery programmes, community counselling, and mosque-based interventions are all vital tools.

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Imams and scholars should be equipped with basic knowl­edge in addiction counselling. Collaboration with the Nar­cotics Control Commission and health institution can create models where religious guid­ance and medical treatment go hand-in-hand.

Impact of Illicit Drugs on Society

Illicit drug use damages physical health, corrupts moral values, and leads to crime and unemployment. It depletes a nation’s human capital, as youths and adults become dependent, mentally unstable, and economically unproductive. It also leads to violence, theft, and domestic abuse.

The Qur’an declares: “And do not throw yourselves into destruction with your own hands.” Qur’an 2:195)

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Impact of Illicit Drugs in Schools

In Ghana, the increasing prevalence of drug abuse in schools has led to absentee­ism, violent behaviour, ac­ademic failure, and mental health issues.

Some school dropouts have become part of gang culture, especially in urban areas, threatening future nation­al development. These environments must be purified and protected with strong policy, parental involvement, and faith-based education.

UNICEF, Ghana Health Ser­vice, and Other Reports

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UNICEF (2019) highlight­ed the correlation between substance abuse and early childhood trauma, noting that youth exposed to abuse, neglect, or poverty are more susceptible to drug use.

The Ghana Health Service’s 2022 report showed a 17 per cent rise in mental health cas­es linked to drug abuse, with youth between 15–35 years most affected.

Narcotics Control Commis­sion Statistics

According to the 2022 Annual Report of the Narcotics Con­trol Commission, over 8,000 arrests were made for drug offenses.

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Cannabis remains the most abused drug, with growing concerns about synthetic drugs and pharmaceutical abuse, especially tramadol and cough syrups with codeine.

Islamic Law and Maqasid

al-Shari‘ah

The five universal objectives of Islamic law (maqasid al-shari‘ah)—preserving religion (deen), life (nafs), intellect (‘aql), lineage (nasl), and wealth (maal)—are all endan­gered by drug abuse.

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Any initiative that protects these objectives is not just legally encouraged but reli­giously mandated.

Imam Al-Shatibi, in al-Mu­wafaqat, asserts that laws are designed not for hardship but to preserve human dignity and collective wellbeing.

Therefore, illicit drugs threaten the very fabric of what Shari’ah seeks to pro­tect:

1. Preservation of Religion (Hifz ad-Deen) – Drug use weakens a person’s sense of religious duty. Addicts often neglect prayer, fasting, and remembrance of Allah, falling into sin and heedlessness.

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2. Preservation of Life (Hifz an-Nafs) – Drugs increase the risk of premature death through overdose, suicide, or violence. Islam strictly forbids self-harm: “And do not kill yourselves.

Indeed, Allah is to you ever Merciful” (Qur’an 4:29).

3. Preservation of Intellect (Hifz al-‘A9ql) – One of the clearest reasons intoxicants are forbidden. The mind is the seat of moral judgment. Losing one’s intellect means losing the capacity for faith and responsibility.

4. Preservation of Lineage (Hifz an-Nasl) – Drug addiction often leads to moral decay, fornication, and broken fam­ilies, harming future genera­tions.

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5. Preservation of Wealth (Hifz al-Maal) – Addicts squan­der wealth on drugs, harming families and communities. Islam commands us to be cus­todians of our resources.

These objectives guide the Islamic legal position that drug abuse is not just a sin, but a social threat that must be collectively confronted.

By Imam Saeed Abdulai

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