Obaa Yaa

Married woman finds me suitable

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a graduate, completed the mandatory National Service but I have no job. A married woman was stranded when her car broke down in the middle of the road and I assisted in fixing the problem to her delight.

The following day, she called my phone to express her gratitude for the help I offered her the previous day. Ever since, the conservation continued and one day she invited me for launch.

She occasionally called to find out how I was doing and always asked if there was any help that she could offer.

One day, we coincidentally met at the funeral of a friend and she suggested that we go elsewhere for lunch at a lodge. There we had some drinks and food after which she complained of headache and subsequently booked a room to enable her to rest a few minutes before leaving the place. I quickly arranged for a painkiller from a nearby pharmacy, gave it to her and waited for her to recuperate.

She pleaded that I should not leave her alone in the room but stay a little longer. I suggested that she should call her husband to come to her aid but she declined, saying that she would like to be left alone.

After some minutes, she asked for a bottle of water and when I took the water to her she held my hand firmly and drew me to her on the bed. As I struggled to extricate myself from her grips, she held me tighter and whispered into my ears that she loved me and the unfortunate happened.

This incident was followed by many others at the least opportunity we had.

Though she is someone’s wife, she gives me joy and supports me financially since I am not working. I find it difficult to let her go off my grips because of the immense help she is offering me. I am beginning to be afraid of being caught by her husband and disgraced.

What should I do?

Kofi, Accra.

Dear Kofi,

You are treading on dangerous grounds and the earlier you quit this devilish attitude and spare your life, the better it will be for you.

Going out with someone’s wife is a deadly sin, nasty, dirty, unpardonable and could easily cause your life.

Remember that everybody will definitely condemn your attitude because it is not right.

The danger is that, having indulged in illicit sex for some period will make you not feel remorse of the act.

There is no need to depend on this woman for long since the ball will soon be let out of the bag, and you will soon be caught.

How will you feel if someone does this to your wife?

Obaa Yaa

My driver raped me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am a 30-year- old married woman. I trade in foodstuffs and recently on a journey to convey some foods from the hinterlands, I was raped by my driver.

I can imagine how my husband will feel if I told him. He will divorce me right away without a second thought.

It was not my fault and I feel so hurt yet I cannot report to the police because I never wanted the incident to be made public.

Naana,

Sunyani.

Dear Naana,

I understand your dilemma and I think in the interest of your marriage let sleeping dogs lie.

On a second thought, how did a driver you have been working with for so many years rape you?

Does it mean you had feelings for each other or you were cheating on your husband?

Is there something you are hiding because I just cannot understand this incident.

Make sure it doesn’t happen to you again. In short, do not take that particular driver’s vehicle again.

Make sure you don’t stay over whenever you are on a trip.

Obaa Yaa

My past life is traumatising me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am currently going through difficult moments in my life because of my past activities.

I am a 35-year-old lady who is single and hoping to get married, however, nothing is working for me.

The issue is that, in the past, I had a special preference for only married men and so far, I have been able to date about seven of them. Out of this number, I have destroyed five of those marriages due to my relationship with the husbands.

I made sure I made time for them, cook and always offer them good treatment, especially in bed because they were all nice to me.

My dilemma is that, one of the men wants to marry me after divorcing his wife.

However, my friends are advising me not to make that move because it will look as if I am the reason for their break up.

Will I be wrong by marrying him because I am still single and searching?

Worried Lady,

Achimota.

Dear worried lady,

Marrying someone who has divorced the spouse because of you can be quite complex.

Even as you reflect on your journey and seek a new path, there are several concerns that may arise.

First, there’s the idea of karmic debt, which suggests that our actions bear consequences. In this context, marrying someone to whom you played a role in his divorce might evoke feelings of guilt or unease.

Additionally, it’s essential to consider the emotions of the wife who has been left behind. Entering into a marriage with her ex-husband could be viewed as a lack of respect for her and the relationship they once shared.

This situation also prompts important self-reflection regarding your personal growth. It’s worth contemplating whether marrying this person would signify genuine progress in your life or if it might merely lead to repeating past patterns.

However, there is another side to consider. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if you’ve truly repented, committing to someone who loves and accepts you could represent a positive step forward. Ultimately, the most crucial aspect of your decision should be your own happiness and well-being, as you strive to create a fulfilling future.