Obaa Yaa
Marry her to solve the problem
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We have known each other since 2018 when she was 16 and I was 19. We have been so close since last year.
When I asked her about her past relationship, she told me she was with a boy who was the same age as she is and the boy was a womaniser, and also he was not serious with the relationship.
She also told me that she never quarreled with the boy and thus, it was distance that kept them apart.
The boy stays in Accra and she stays in Kumasi. Even though she has promised to marry me, my instincts tells me that they still communicate.
I also live in Accra and what is the guarantee that she won’t go back to this boy if he comes back to woo and reconnect with her again?
I love her so much and I don’t want to end this relationship.
Obaa Yaa, my problem now is how do I convince her to stop communicating with the boy in order to be assured that she is mine?
Yaw Manu
Accra south.
****
Dear Yaw Manu,
I have a feeling you really love your girlfriend, and indeed you don’t want to lose her.
I personally believe that in order to know your fate about this relationship, you must have a heart to heart talk with your girl about this issues. And if you are bent on marrying her why don’t you go ahead?
In 2018, she was 16 and you were 19. You two are matured now so my advice to you is to marry her if you don’t want anybody to tamper with her.
This is because once she is unmarried, anything can really happen.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
