Obaa Yaa
My boyfriend is unhappy with our open relationship
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend happily agreed to an open relationship but now that I am getting a lot more attention than him, he wants to return to monogamy.
I am a 23-year-old woman and he is 24. We met at the university and have been together for four years.
I have always felt like I met him too early. While I love and respect him and want to spend the rest of my life with him, there is so much more I want to experience first.
I want to travel and meet different people. To be honest, I want to have more sexual experiences before I settle down.
I have told my boyfriend I was interested in an open relationship and he had never rejected the idea out rightly, but when I got a job and was posted to a different region, I felt strongly the time was right to put my plan into action.
Although we both love each other and want to stay together this arrangement seemed to me the best way to be romantically involved and sexually satisfied while living in different places.
Six months into my posting, I have had four partners while my boyfriend has had none.
Now he says we should end the relationship. Please what should I do?
Esther, Pokuase
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Dear Esther,
I must say that it was a bad arrangement in the first place for both of you to have accepted to engage in such ungodly act. For a relationship to thrive, there should be trust and respect but if none is present then the relationship will go nowhere.
If you are ready for a monogamous relationship, then you must stop this behaviour.
You have been unfaithful to your boyfriend for having other partners. Remember you are prone to contracting a sexually transmitted disease easily if you engage in sexual activities with multiple sexual partners.
Forget about exploring the world and settle down with your boyfriend.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
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Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
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Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
