Obaa Yaa
My husband keeps cheating Dear Obaa Yaa
My husband has cheated on me for more than 15 years and even after he promised me it was over, I found he was still paying the same woman for sex.
I am 48 and he is 53.
We have been married for 18 years and I have spent most of that time bringing up our now adult children alone.
After I discovered his affair four years ago, he promised me he had ended it but would remain friends with the woman.
I found out through their messages that even after their affair officially ended he still paid her for sex.
He is the breadwinner, and he has always kept his spending a secret and given me a tiny budget to run the house.
He goads me into having arguments so he can walk out and spend weekends with his lover.
I finally told his family how his behaviour was affecting me, but even then he tried to blame me.
Privately, he told me I should have left him if I felt so unhappy.
But he told his mum he loves me and wants our relationship to work.
I am not sure how I feel because he is still in denial and won’t admit to my face what he has done.
Celestina, Ashaiman.
Dear Celestina,
I am sorry for what you are going through in your marriage.You really do not deserve this treatment, considering the commitment and loyalty to your husband but I am hoping at the end of my write up, we would be able to get to the bottom of it and get a solution to your problem.
First of all, I would advise you to talk to your husband for the last time about his bad behaviour and give him options to choose you or the lady he is paying for sex.
Bring your grown up kids in when you confront him and let them talk to him. If after all he doesn’t stop, then leave him.
At age 54, you should be enjoying the fruit of your labour and not stressing or worrying about marital issues.
Obaa Yaa
He left a note in his brief case
Dear Obaa Yaa,
When my father died, I was grief-stricken, I could hardly believe it. My other sisters and I were so surprised he didn’t tell us he was ill.
Growing up, my father was a very loving man and made sure his daughters were happy every time.
We were tidying up the room ahead of the one week funeral and found out a note in his bag telling us how he has been fighting silence battle concerning his health.
Obaa Yaa, why did my father not tell any of us that he was sick?
Esinam,
Gbawe.
******
Dear Esinam,
I wonder why your father did that. We can only guess the reason, and I believe he wanted to hide it from you so as not to cause you distress, knowing that he was going to die, anyway.
You know, some fathers don’t want their children to share their suffering and pain, especially in cases of terminal illness. That might be your father’s reason.
The most important thing is that you should let bygones be bygones and give him a befitting burial.
This is the time your mother needs you most so try and give her the needed attention and support.
Obaa Yaa
I feed myself and pay my school fees
Dear Obaa Yaa
I AM a 16-year old girl and live with my mother and father at Osu. A lot of things goes through my mind because I wonder if they are my real parents because they don’t take care of me.
I pay my own fees and feed myself, and what annoys me most is that my father sometimes ask me for money.
They don’t even ask me where I get the money from. My parents are really irritating me with this attitude of theirs. Even though they are both unemployed, I don’t think it’s an excuse enough for them to neglect me.
Gloria,
Senya Beraku.
*****
Dear Gloria,
IF your parents are unemployed, they naturally cannot care for you exactly the way you want.
What you have to do is to pray that your parents gets something to do so that they can be in a position to care for you.
Meanwhile, try as much as possible not to ‘sell’ yourself to unscrupulous men just because your parents are not looking after you.
If you are not in school, that is if you are on vacation, try and do some trading so that you can earn some income for your upkeep until things improve.
As for your parents not asking you about the source of your money, I don’t believe you have to make any case out of it.
The most important thing to consider is that the source must be clean. Don’t get money out of immorality, and lose your life in the proces