Obaa Yaa
My landlady is pestering me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married for over two years to a wonderful lady I am four years older than.
Due to transportation challenges, we moved from Kasoa to Accra where we all work – but in different companies.
After going through the usual ‘hustle-and-bustle’ of accommodation searching in Accra, I met a young lady in her early 40s at a work gathering.
After exchanging pleasantries, we had some nice chat through which I told her I was looking for a place to stay with my wife.
She offered to help and truly, she gave me an address to a three-bedroom apartment for inspection and let her know whether I was interested.
I rushed to inspect it but the price the agent quoted was outrageous. After negotiating, he asked me to see the owner. To my surprise, this young lady happened to be the owner and decided to reduce the price for me to pay a year’s ‘advance.’
Few months after moving in my wife had a scholarship to study abroad. And ever since this lady visited once and got to know my wife had travelled, she has been pestering me for sex and has even asked me not to pay the rental fee if the current one expires.
Please what should I do?
Obed Samuels
Dansoman
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Dear Obed Samuels,
Your situation is very dicey but God will see you through.
You should never try cheating on your wife no matter the situation. Let the landlady know that you are not interested in having any affair with her especially when you are married and you have a responsible role to play.
Let her know that you are in a position to pay for the rent every year and therefore will not stay in the room for free.
Have a talk with her and appreciate her for all the good things she has done for your family by saying thank you. Let her understand you value your friendship with her very much and would not let any affair or emotions ruin that.
You love your wife and these are some of the challenges that come in the marriage therefore you should not give up but be firm as a man to fight against obstacles and setbacks.
I wish you all the best in everything and always pray to God to help you overcome such challenges. Stay blessed.
Obaa Yaa
My husband is seeing another lady
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I dated my husband for two years and got married few months ago because I was pregnant and didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock.
At the time I realised I was pregnant, another lady was also pregnant for him but the lady insisted on terminating the pregnancy and because he needed a child, he asked me to keep it and pleaded that he will not cheat on me again.
Now I have a baby girl and the issue is that he hides basically everything about him from me including his phone.
We are basically living like roommates but he provides food for the home. I am still in school so I want to go for family planning till I complete school and get something to do for myself because I don’t want to fully depend on him again.
Please I need an advice whether to go for the family planning or not and should I inform my husband?
Kakyire, Tarkwa.
Dear Kaakyire,
I understand what you are going through and feel your pain. I am pleading with you to be patient when handling issues like this.
Kindly have a discussion with your husband and voice out your frustrations and everything you are going through to him.
Make amends and apologise to each other. Begin this year on a fresh note.
I would advise you to go for the family planning methods in order to complete school without another pregnancy.
Finally, continue to pray and commit your marriage into the hands of God.
Obaa Yaa
My wife has put on weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.
She looks entirely like a different person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.
I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.
I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.
I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.
Mr Owusu,
Techiman.
Dear Owusu,
You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.
People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.
If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body changes are meant to happen.
You cannot tell an elderly woman to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.
You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.
And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.
It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.
If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expecting. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.
Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.
