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Obaa Yaa

My wife has put on weight

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.

She looks entirely like a differ­ent person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.

I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.

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I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.

I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.

Mr Owusu,

Techiman.

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Dear Owusu,

You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.

People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.

If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body chang­es are meant to happen.

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You cannot tell an elderly wom­an to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.

You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.

And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.

It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.

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If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expect­ing. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.

Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.

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Obaa Yaa

My husband is always in the bedroom

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I AM 30 and he is 45. We have been married for three years now. The problem I have with my husband is that when he is not at work and he’s home, and always in the bedroom.

You can never see my husband in the sitting room chatting with the chil­dren or with me.

And Obaa Yaa, he only tells the children and I that he loves us when he is tipsy or drunk. That is the only time you will see him in a conversation with us.

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Do you believe he really means it when he says he loves us in that mood?

Baaba,

Agona Nyakrom.

*****

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Dear Baaba,

Generally, there are many types of personality in everyone and I hope your husband is an intro­vert. This means he is not the outgo­ing type and wants to keep to himself either reading or listening to music.

And of course, such a person would need something to stimulate him to be open, expressive and nice, and I guess a little alcohol is doing just that.

If he is not abusing the alcohol, then there is nothing much more to worry about. Be loving and let him be the person God has made him.

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Ask the children to go to him any­time he is lonely to share jokes and help them with their homework.

Encourage him to be more com­municative and do not nag about him because that will worsen the problem.

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Obaa Yaa

Labour ward stories scare me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I JUST missed my period and I know I am pregnant but I am afraid of the repercussions.

It isn’t that there is no money to take care of the pregnancy, but Obaa Yaa, I have heard about all the things that happen at the labour ward.

I want to abort the pregnancy and be fully prepared before get­ting pregnant again.

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I understand it’s a very painful experience and I can’t stand it.

Takyibea,

Eastern Region.

********

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Dear Takyibea,

YOU have not written your age in the letter so it will be dif­ficult to advise you on proce­dures to take.

You have also not told me whether or not you are married.

If you are above 21 and married, do not go and abort.

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Many women have aborted preg­nancies and ended up as barren. Besides, abortion is criminal and you can be prosecuted for it.

If there is money to look after the pregnancy, go ahead and deliv­er the baby.

Those stories you hear of labour pains should not scare or frighten you.

God takes every woman through it and there is nothing to postpone about it. Unless you do not want to have a baby, you must forget the labour ward stories and be hopeful.

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The baby will bring you joy and open more doors for you because children are blessings from God.

Don’t listen to any negative news about child birth.

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