Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me

Dear Obaa Yaa

We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.

I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.

My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.

In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.

She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.

Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.

Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.

My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.

The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?

Patience- Accra.

Dear Patience,

I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.

Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.

Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.

You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple.

You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem.

Text message exposes my boyfriend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.

Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.

I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.

He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.

My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.

I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.

Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.

I read the message when he was having his bath.

Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.

How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?

Abrefi, Tesano.

*****

Dear Abrefi,

I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.

I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.

He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.

This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.

In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.

My boss is tormenting me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

Ashiaman.

******

Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.