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Obaa Yaa

Pressure of childlessness is disturbing me

We have been married over six years but we have not as yet been blessed with the fruit of the womb.

 I have become a centre of ridicule by my in-laws from the eldest person to the youngest in the family and there seems to be no end to my plight.

 My parents and the entire family have heard the barrage of insults for which some were incensed and demanding that l should quit the marriage in order to have my peace.

In the midst of all these challenges, it is surprising to note that a female relative of my husband is the only person who is against the unjustified attacks on me.

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She has been supporting me with words of encouragement and has the firm belief that the situation will be better with time.

Since accusing fingers were pointed at me as the cause of our childlessness, I was compelled to conduct tests at different hospitals and the reports had revealed that there was nothing wrong with me.

Unfortunately, my husband has refused to go to the hospital to undergo any of the tests l had been subjected to.

My fear is that the years are running out and if care is not taken, l may possibly not take seed provided the situation remains the same.

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The anger in my parents and relatives could possibly make me leave the marriage. Will l be right if l take this action?

Patience- Accra.

Dear Patience,

I want to believe that you are both eager to have babies just as his relatives are mounting pressure on you to the annoyance of your family.

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Modern medical researches and discoveries have made seemingly difficult problems to become easy to deal with, thereby bringing joy to many couples.

Since the tests conducted have proved positive, the next thing you should do as a wife is to compel your husband to go to the hospital for a thorough medical examination to be conducted on him.

You have to convince him that it takes two to make babies, therefore, he should complement your efforts in trying to unravel the problem of childlessness you have as a couple. You should let him understand that only the two of you should work hard in resolving the problem

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Obaa Yaa

 My boss is tormenting me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environ­ment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

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Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our com­pany.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

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Ashiaman.

******

Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

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Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are compe­tent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.  

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Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

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As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoy­ing each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my mar­riage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

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Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

**********

I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

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Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the inci­dent you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most important­ly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a profes­sional counselor and go for therapies with her.

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However, if you are not comfort­able staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.  

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