Relationship
Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor
As you begin your journey of marriage, remember that seeking help from a professional marriage therapist or counsellor can be a valuable asset to your relationship.
I admit there are so many characteristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage therapist or counsellor. Therefore, I will start by introducing you to the core qualities that your marriage counsellor or therapist must possess:
1. Professional qualifications and credentials
Check the counsellor’s qualifications, such as their educational background, counselling certifications, and any specialised training in marriage counselling (for instance, Counselor Prince & Associates Consult’s ‘Certificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy,’ which is accredited by Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
Ensure the therapist or counsellor has appropriate credentials and is licensed or at least certified. For instance, if you are in Ghana, the counsellor must be licensed with the Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
2. Rapport building and creating a welcoming atmosphere
Your marriage therapist or counsellor should possess the critical skills of building rapport and creating a welcoming environment for you and your partner.
Imagine you and your partner walk into a marriage counsellor’s office for the first time. You are nervous, vulnerable, and unsure about what lies ahead.
It is important that the counsellor you choose understands the value of rapport building and creating a warm and inviting space for you both.
Rapport building is the foundation of any successful counselling relationship. It is all about your counsellor establishing a connection, trust, and understanding with you and your partner.
Creating a welcoming atmosphere goes beyond having a cozy office or providing refreshments. It is about making you and your partner feel valued and respected from the moment you step through the door.
Your counsellor should start by greeting you and your partner with a smile and a genuine welcome. They must show sincere concern, making it clear that your struggles matter to them.
The counsellor must pay attention to their own body language, ensuring it conveys openness and approachability. For instance, a simple gesture like offering you a comfortable seat or a bottle of water can go a long way in making you feel at ease.
Finally, remember that building a rapport and creating a welcoming atmosphere is an ongoing process. That means your counsellor must continuously check in with you and your partner, ask for your feedback, and adjust their approach accordingly.
3. Strong communication skills
A good marriage counsellor or therapist should have excellent active listening skills, questioning skills, clarification and reflecting skills, as well as general communication skills, just to mention a few.
Your counsellor should be able to facilitate constructive dialogue between you and your partner.
For your counsellor to be a good listener, they must make you feel heard and understood. This means giving you undivided attention, maintaining eye contact, and responding empathically to your concerns.
The counsellor should be able to articulate his or her thoughts, wisdom and guidance to you and your partner in a clear manner.
4. Impartial and non-judgmental attitude
The counsellor or therapist should have the ability to create a safe and non-judgmental space for you. It is essential that you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of criticism or condemnation.
A skilled counsellor should maintain a non-judgmental and objective stance when helping you.
A professional marriage counsellor will remain neutral and unbiased throughout the therapeutic process. They will not take sides or favour one partner over the other.
Instead, they will listen to both of you attentively, offer insights, and guide you towards a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamics. This objectivity helps ensure fairness and creates a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns.
Remember, the journey to growth and experiencing a happy and fulfilling marriage begins with you feeling safe and well supported.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
Relationship
Tips to creating a healthy habit
Make a plan
When you commit to taking up a new habit, it is essential to have a clear plan of action before you begin. Start with a long-term goal and keep it S.M.A.R.T: S- Specific M- Measurable A- Achievable R-Relevant and T- Timely
Habit Stacking
Habit Stacking is exactly what it sounds like: putting two or more habits together. We recommend choosing times of the day when routines are strongest. For most people, this is usually the morning or before bed. We know day-to-day life can get a little crazy, but there are certain times when patterns are created, making them the perfect place for a positive change.
The best way to form a new habit is to tie it in with an existing one.
Baby steps
Many experts agree that significant changes require high motivation levels, which can be hard to sustain. Instead, you should start with a slight change that will eventually lead to something bigger.
You can transition to something bigger once you have successfully implemented daily habits for a designated amount of time.
Consistency
Consistency is key. To make something a habit, you need to do it every day. We have all heard the magic ‘21 day’ fix, but the fact of the matter is, it’s not one size fits all.
Celebrate success
Perhaps the most important part of habit-making is rewarding yourself. We know habits take time, but in order to not give up, you need to celebrate every win.
Find the thing you love and allow yourself to experience it once you’ve hit a milestone on your habit-forming journey. Sometimes, the results of habits are not immediately apparent. Do not give up!
Relationship
How to deal with anxiety and uncertainty in relationships
Whether you have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder or are simply going through a stressful period, everyone needs a little motivation every now and then, particularly in relationships.
These are three coping skills and strategies that can help you defeat anxiety in your relationship.
- Deep Breathing
Deep breathing is a simple technique that is excellent for managing emotions. Not only is deep breathing effective, it is also discreet and easy to use at any time or place.
Sit comfortably and place one hand on your abdomen. Breathe in through your nose, deeply enough that the hand on your abdomen rises. Hold the air in your lungs, and then exhale slowly through your mouth, with your lips puckered as if you are blowing through a straw. The secret is to go slow: Time the inhalation (4’s), pause (4’s), and exhalation (6’s). Practice for 3 to 5 minutes.
- Examine Your Thoughts
For instance, the thoughts that “something bad will happen” or “I will make a mistake” might lack evidence, but still have an impact on how you feel.
By examining the evidence and challenging these thoughts, you can reduce anxiety.
Put thoughts on trial. Choose a thought that has contributed to your relationship anxiety. Gather evidence in support of your thought (verifiable facts only), and against your thought. Compare the evidence and determine whether your thought is accurate or not.
Ask yourself:
“Is my thought based on facts or feelings?”
“How would my partner or best friend see this situation?”
“How likely is it that my fear will come true?”
“What’s most likely to happen?”
“If my fear comes true, will it still matter in a week? A month? A year?”
- Imagery (Positive Imagination)
Your thoughts have the power to change how you feel. If you think of something sad, it is likely you will start to feel sad. The opposite is also true: When you think of something positive and calming, you feel relaxed. The imagery technique harnesses this power to reduce anxiety.
Think of a place that you find comforting. It could be a secluded beach, your bedroom, a quiet mountaintop, your prayer closet, or even a loud gospel concert. For 5 to 10 minutes, use all your senses to imagine this setting in great detail. Do not think fleetingly about this place; really imagine it.
(PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7)
“6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
#QUOTE OF THE WEEK
Anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strength.
—Charles Spurgeon
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from “HOW TO MAKE THE BEST OF YOUR COURTSHIP: Building a Strong Foundation for Your Marriage” Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, Author, and Marriage Therapist).
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
