Relationship
Qualities to look out for in your marriage counsellor
As you begin your journey of marriage, remember that seeking help from a professional marriage therapist or counsellor can be a valuable asset to your relationship.
I admit there are so many characteristics you would have to consider when choosing your marriage therapist or counsellor. Therefore, I will start by introducing you to the core qualities that your marriage counsellor or therapist must possess:
1. Professional qualifications and credentials
Check the counsellor’s qualifications, such as their educational background, counselling certifications, and any specialised training in marriage counselling (for instance, Counselor Prince & Associates Consult’s ‘Certificate in Counselling and Marriage Therapy,’ which is accredited by Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
Ensure the therapist or counsellor has appropriate credentials and is licensed or at least certified. For instance, if you are in Ghana, the counsellor must be licensed with the Ghana Psychology Council (GPC).
2. Rapport building and creating a welcoming atmosphere
Your marriage therapist or counsellor should possess the critical skills of building rapport and creating a welcoming environment for you and your partner.
Imagine you and your partner walk into a marriage counsellor’s office for the first time. You are nervous, vulnerable, and unsure about what lies ahead.
It is important that the counsellor you choose understands the value of rapport building and creating a warm and inviting space for you both.
Rapport building is the foundation of any successful counselling relationship. It is all about your counsellor establishing a connection, trust, and understanding with you and your partner.
Creating a welcoming atmosphere goes beyond having a cozy office or providing refreshments. It is about making you and your partner feel valued and respected from the moment you step through the door.
Your counsellor should start by greeting you and your partner with a smile and a genuine welcome. They must show sincere concern, making it clear that your struggles matter to them.
The counsellor must pay attention to their own body language, ensuring it conveys openness and approachability. For instance, a simple gesture like offering you a comfortable seat or a bottle of water can go a long way in making you feel at ease.
Finally, remember that building a rapport and creating a welcoming atmosphere is an ongoing process. That means your counsellor must continuously check in with you and your partner, ask for your feedback, and adjust their approach accordingly.
3. Strong communication skills
A good marriage counsellor or therapist should have excellent active listening skills, questioning skills, clarification and reflecting skills, as well as general communication skills, just to mention a few.
Your counsellor should be able to facilitate constructive dialogue between you and your partner.
For your counsellor to be a good listener, they must make you feel heard and understood. This means giving you undivided attention, maintaining eye contact, and responding empathically to your concerns.
The counsellor should be able to articulate his or her thoughts, wisdom and guidance to you and your partner in a clear manner.
4. Impartial and non-judgmental attitude
The counsellor or therapist should have the ability to create a safe and non-judgmental space for you. It is essential that you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your thoughts, emotions, and concerns without fear of criticism or condemnation.
A skilled counsellor should maintain a non-judgmental and objective stance when helping you.
A professional marriage counsellor will remain neutral and unbiased throughout the therapeutic process. They will not take sides or favour one partner over the other.
Instead, they will listen to both of you attentively, offer insights, and guide you towards a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamics. This objectivity helps ensure fairness and creates a safe space for both of you to express your feelings and concerns.
Remember, the journey to growth and experiencing a happy and fulfilling marriage begins with you feeling safe and well supported.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC)
Relationship
Good reasons for getting married
Getting married is a major commitment, and there are many good reasons why people choose to take this step. Here are some of the most common reasons:
1. Marry for companionship, security and great support system
One of the foremost reasons people get married is because they love each other and want to share their lives together. Getting married for companionship, security and a great support system are some common reasons for people to tie the knot.
Marriage can provide a deep level of companionship, intimacy, and emotional support. Also, marriage provides a stable and secure foundation for a couple to build their lives together.
It can provide a sense of emotional and physical security, a spouse to share life experiences with, and a support system in times of need. It can also offer a legal framework for financial stability, inheritance, and healthcare decisions. When you’re married, you have a spouse to rely on through thick and thin.
Ultimately, the decision to get married should be based on the individual’s personal values, priorities, and goals for the future.
Here are a few Scriptures from the Bible that discuss the topics of companionship, security, and support:
• “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” – (Ecclesiastes 4:9- 10)
• “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – (Proverbs 17:17)
• “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – (Mark 10:9)
• “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.” – (Proverbs 18:22)
• “Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” – (Philippians 2:4)
These are just a few examples— there’re many other verses in the Bible that speak to these themes.
2. Marry to honour God
Marrying to honour God means committing to a lifelong partnership that is grounded in faith and is aligned with God’s will.
In Christianity, marriage is considered a sacred bond that is ordained by God and should be entered into with reverence and respect.
The Bible teaches that a man and a woman should leave their parents and become one flesh in marriage, and that this union should be founded on mutual love, respect, and faith in God.
Some ways to honour God in a marriage include praying together, studying the Bible, attending church services, serving others, practicing forgiveness and grace, and seeking God’s guidance in decision-making.
It is also important to prioritise the needs and desires of your spouse and to cultivate a deep, loving relationship that reflects the sacrificial love of Christ.
Ultimately, marrying to honour God means seeking to glorify God in all aspects of your relationship, both individually and as a couple.
Here are some Scriptures that support the idea of marrying to honour God:
• Genesis 2:24 – “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
• Ephesians 5:22-33 – “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her … let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
• Proverbs 18:22 – “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”
• Colossians 3:18-19 – “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.”
• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honour to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”
These Scriptures emphasise the importance of mutual love, respect, and submission in marriage, as well as the need for a Christ-centered relationship that honours God.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist, Lecturer, and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite. com/edu-counseling-psych
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website-psychologist
https://princeoffei22.wixsite. com/website
COUNSELOR PRINCE & ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Tips for a stress free family Christmas
Many people find Christmas a stressful time and this is often to do with expectations. We all worry about getting the right gifts for people, preparing the perfect Christmas dinner, getting the house ready and spending concentrated time with extended family.
To help you have a fun Christmas rather than a frazzled one here are some tips for keeping the pressure off.
1. State expectations
Make sure that you have conversations with your family and friends about everyone’s expectations of Christmas well in advance. That way you can deal with any difficult demands and make compromises that suit everyone.
If you are worried about the cost of Christmas, you could also set some spending limits for gifts or come up with ideas for presents that don’t need to be bought; for example washing the car or making someone breakfast in bed.
2. Remember it’s OK to say no
As well as talking to your family about what they want to happen at Christmas be honest about what you want to do too.
If you want to turn something down, explain why you do not want to do it, and have a suggestion ready for an alternative.
For example instead of taking on all the cooking you could suggest a ‘bring and share’ meal so that everyone takes a share of the work.
3. Practical prep
If you are hosting Christmas, it is always a good idea to do some prep beforehand – simple things like making (or buying!) the food early or wrapping presents the weekend before can really help.
Make a list of tasks that need to be done in the run up to Christmas and ask your family and friends to each put their name to something. You can stick this up at home and even get the kids to decorate it with Christmas pictures or stickers.
4. Delegate, delegate, delegate
Do not be afraid to ask your guests for help. We can all fall into the trap of wanting to be the perfect host, but in reality, hosting Christmas Day can be very demanding. Asking people to help can make everyone feel involved. Children really like to feel helpful, so get them involved with handing round snacks or setting the table.
5. Avoid conflict
If you are worried your guests might not get on, go for a walk in the afternoon to break things up a little. This gives everyone the chance to chat to someone different, or even to stay at home if tension is building.
Equally, you can always ask a guest to make drinks, or help out with the kids in order to break up any potential conflict.
6. It is your Christmas too
Christmas Day can whizz by in a festive blur without you so much has sniffing a glass of fizz or pulling a cracker because you’re frantically trying to make everything perfect for everyone else.
Remember that it is your Christmas too and you should be able to enjoy it. Make a timetable for the day so that there are regular times when you can sit down and talk with everyone or play with the children.
