Relationship
Relationship tips …advice for single ladies
1. Someone’s lack of reciprocation is not an invitation for you to convince them of your worth.
Do not use rejection as a reason to prove your worth to somebody who does not see your values. It is not your fault that the other person does not feel the same way.
You cannot choose who you fall in love with, and you cannot control how people feel about you. If you love somebody and they do not reciprocate that love, you have to move on and let them go.
2. Your value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see your worth
Some people are in the habit of seeking approval from others for their existence, remember it is your life. You have control over what you choose to do with it and who you choose to be.
You do not have to take permission from somebody else to be yourself. You have the power to make it easy for people to see your worth.
3. Approach a difficult conversation with warmth and vulnerability
Sharing your challenges makes you feel light as if a big weight had been lifted off your shoulders. So much so that you forget all your problems, your pain, and the struggle you were going through. The pain of facing a challenging situation, can be overwhelming, and at some point, we need somebody to speak to us with compassion and empathy.
4. Every time you break your boundaries to please someone, you love yourself less
As a single woman, what are your boundaries? It is important to start making a list of things you cannot tolerate or compromise in your life.
Boundaries describe how emotionally close you are willing to let people get to you. It describes the things that you are willing to tolerate in a person. It protects the heart when it feels weak or when you are confused about a person. It is where you draw the line when people do not live up to your expectations- at that point, you decide either for them to change or you quit.
Every time you break your boundary, you undervalue yourself and settle for less
5. Just because it could have been different, does not mean it would have been better
Sometimes it is difficult to move on from a breakup. You keep playing different versions of “what ifs” in your head instead of focusing on healing, but no amount of “what ifs” can change the past, just accept your mistakes for what they are and move on, you will meet opportunities that will be good or better in the future.
Relationship
Marriage is a social union
Marriage is a social relationship between two people that is sanctioned by the law, religion, or social conventions. It is an official commitment made by two people to share their lives, obligations, and resources while residing as a couple.
Every culture on the globe values and strongly approves of marriage as a social bond or union. Marriage has been a social institution in numerous forms spanning human history. It is considered as a way to build social ties between families or clans in some cultures, while it is recognised as a private relationship between two people in others.
The institution of marriage is heavily regulated by religious institutions since it is often connected to religious customs in many civilisations.
Mostly, a marriage takes place amidst happiness and celebrations for the couple, their family, and loved ones.
Being a social institution, marriage encourages the union of two utterly different people from diverse socioeconomic backgrounds to create a family. Marriage is a partnership where trust is developed over time as dedicated spouses put their personal interests aside for the benefit of their spouse and learn how to maintain a healthy relationship.
Marriage is a social union that establishes rights and obligations between the spouses, between spouses and their children, and between the spouses and their in-laws.
Marriage has several functions in society, including defining the rights and obligations of the spouses, recognising the couple’s dedication to each other on a social and legal level, and managing the couple’s sexual behaviour and procreation. In addition to providing a framework for arranging household and financial affairs, marriage also offers a means of socialising and raising children.
It is crucial in creating a solid foundation for rearing and caring for children. In terms of education, social well-being, and health, research has demonstrated that children raised in married homes typically achieve greater results than children raised in single-parent or cohabiting relationships.
Marriage has obstacles, despite how significant it is. The institution of marriage has come under fire and been the subject of debate, particularly in relation to topics like gender roles, sexuality, and the right of same-sex couples to get married.
In many nations, divorce rates have also increased, underscoring the challenges that many couples encounter in sustaining a committed, long-term partnership. As society conventions and ideals have changed over time, marriage has undergone considerable adjustments.
Today, marriage is often seen as a partnership between equals in which both parties contribute to the union and shoulder equal responsibility. A growing acceptance of many types of love and commitment is reflected in the legal recognition of same-sex marriage in some nations.
Despite the growing trend in same-sex marriages, almost all African and Asian countries vehemently abhor the idea of same-sex marriage because of religious / spiritual, cultural and social reasons.
Nevertheless, the Christian perspective maintains that getting married is not only a social or legal commitment; it is a spiritual union that is based on the grace and love of God. Christians contend that a husband and wife can deepen their love for God and for each other by means of marriage.
The need for sexual purity and loyalty inside the marriage bond is also emphasized in the Christian perspective on marriage. Christians believe that faithfulness is essential to upholding a good and solid relationship, and that intimate sexual activity is a gift from the LORD that deserves to be embraced within the framework of marriage.
In general, the Christian perspective on marriage as a social union is grounded in the conviction that it is a holy covenant between a man and a woman, established by God, and that it is intended to reflect God’s love and grace in the world.
To be continued …
Source: Excerpts from ‘Preparing for a Happy and Fulfilling Marriage’ Book by REV. COUNSELOR PRINCE OFFEI (Psychotherapist and Marriage Therapist). https://counselorprinceass.wixsite.com/edu-counseling-psych
COUNSELOR PRINCE& ASSOCIATES CONSULT (CPAC COUNSELLOR TRAINING INSTITUTE)
Relationship
Blended families-tips for easing the transition-Part 3
As divorce is on the increase in numerous places in the world, blended families have become a common type of household. Many families have a lot of difficulties navigating this unique family situation with success.
A major reason is that members of blended families need to make many adjustments in their lives. The transition can be problematic. And trying to force it can breed conflict and resentment.
Last week we looked at four tips that would help ease the transition, this week we continue with another four tips.
9. Do not expect your new family to be like your first family
If you expect that your stepfamily will be just like the family of your first marriage, you are setting yourself up for frustration. Your new family will have its own unique identity and will evolve in its own special way.
10. Allow time for grieving
Stepfamilies begin with an experience of loss, and everyone needs to grieve. The adults’ losses are not the same as those of the children, and both must be respected. Adults grieve the following losses: the loss of a partner, loss of a marriage relationship, lost dreams of the way they thought it would be and they must adjust to changes that result from the divorce or death
Children grieve, too. Their losses are usually different from those of their parent, they must adjust to changes that result from the divorce or death and they may have lost the fantasy of how they wanted their family to be.
11. Acknowledge the absent parent
When one of the original parents is absent, the children need a special kind of understanding. An absent parent (who has died or who lives elsewhere and doesn’t visit) is part of a child’s past. The child must be allowed to have memories of this parent. The children who have access to both of their parents are those who adjust the best to divorce. They should be allowed to regularly speak with, visit, and write to their noncustodial parent.
12. Give the kids their own space
Make physical space available for the children who don’t live with you. Children need a sense of belonging. Creating a room or section of a room for visiting children will help them feel like part of your family.
