Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t want to lose weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27-year- old and I have been with my fiancée for some time now and we are planning to get married soon. My concern, however, is that I don’t find her current body shape too attractive. She has gained too much weight and I’ve tried every remedy I know to bring her back to shape but to no avail.
She uses the weight loss equipment I bought for her for only two days and stops. Once she stops she loses all the progress she has made.
Sometimes I try hard to defend her in public when people say she is “fat”. But she doesn’t seem to “love herself” too well to accept the change I am pushing for her. What else can I do? I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.
Nana Kwame,
Ashaiman – Lebanon
Dear Nana Kwame,
There are lots of factors that contribute to weight gain. If your girlfriend is now losing her original shape, both of you should find out why she may gain extra weight. However, it is good you’re making an effort to help her.
But if she is not getting the result you desire, both of you can start going to the gym together instead of allowing her to train alone. Going to the gym with her may give her some extra motivation so she does not give up easily.
Besides, love conquers all. And since you love her so much, her weight gain should not bother you so much. Don’t start looking elsewhere because of her physical appearance. Continue to help her to appreciate her new body shape.
Obaa Yaa
She used to see a mallam
Dear Obaa Yaa,
TWO years ago I went and consulted a mallam to help me get a husband. Each time, I meet a certain girl there, but we never talked, not even a simple greeting, because I did not feel comfortable to be seen at a mallam’s house.
Somehow, I started going to church and I stopped going to the mallam.
Can you imagine the shock when my elder brother recently brought this same girl home?
But what even surprised me is that the girl does not give any indication that she knows me.
I am confused because I know my brother will never forgive me if I should be the cause of trouble between them, but I don’t want him to marry someone who got him through foul means.
Please advise me on the right course to take.
T.G, Kumasi.
Dear T.G,
YOU should not be too quick in judging your brother’s girl. After all, you also went to the mallam before giving up to go to church. May be she also did the same thing, and met your brother through a natural way.
Whatever it is, the only way that you would be able to know anything at all is by talking to her, but you will have to be tactful about it.
Mind you, she does not owe you any explanations, because she could turn around to accuse you too.
What is important at this stage is to try and convince your brother’s girl, is if she still goes to the mallam, to give up just like you did. You could even invite her to your church.
Obaa Yaa
She has changed her attitude
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.
She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.
Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.
How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?
C. C, Accra.
Dear C. C,
JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.
And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.
If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.
• Kwabena kwabena in
