Obaa Yaa
She doesn’t want to lose weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am 27-year- old and I have been with my fiancée for some time now and we are planning to get married soon. My concern, however, is that I don’t find her current body shape too attractive. She has gained too much weight and I’ve tried every remedy I know to bring her back to shape but to no avail.
She uses the weight loss equipment I bought for her for only two days and stops. Once she stops she loses all the progress she has made.
Sometimes I try hard to defend her in public when people say she is “fat”. But she doesn’t seem to “love herself” too well to accept the change I am pushing for her. What else can I do? I love her so much and don’t want to lose her.
Nana Kwame,
Ashaiman – Lebanon
Dear Nana Kwame,
There are lots of factors that contribute to weight gain. If your girlfriend is now losing her original shape, both of you should find out why she may gain extra weight. However, it is good you’re making an effort to help her.
But if she is not getting the result you desire, both of you can start going to the gym together instead of allowing her to train alone. Going to the gym with her may give her some extra motivation so she does not give up easily.
Besides, love conquers all. And since you love her so much, her weight gain should not bother you so much. Don’t start looking elsewhere because of her physical appearance. Continue to help her to appreciate her new body shape.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
