Obaa Yaa
She has changed her attitude
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.
She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.
Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.
How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?
C. C, Accra.
Dear C. C,
JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.
And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.
If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.
• Kwabena kwabena in
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
