Obaa Yaa
She wants to come back
Dear Obaa Yaa
I am 28 and in my second year in a tertiary institution. Back in the second cycle institution, I fell in love with a young lady who I trusted so much. We did everything love-birds would do, exchange gifts, cards etc.
After completion, she has been showing strange signs indicating that she loves me no more. Anytime I call her on the telephone, she will say nothing but rather allow me to talk and talk and talk. She’ll say absolutely nothing.
As things were getting out of hand, I wrote to her but she never replied, so I decided to break up with her.
A few months later, I came into contact with this young lady, who for some time now has shown great interest in me. She visits me at home, even before she goes to school.
I have also developed some interest in her and now we do everything together.
But recently, my former girlfriend wrote to me and apologised for her behaviour.
She says she is sorry about everything; she even wants me to visit her in her house, something she kicked against previously.
Obaa Yaa, apparently, my former girlfriend wants a comeback and I still love her, but I can’t afford to lose my new girlfriend.
Please advise me.
Jojo,
Pokuase
****.
Dear Jojo,
IT should be easy for you to choose between someone who is loyal to you and someone who isn’t. But ultimately, a decision on this will depend solely on you.
It would depend on how far you’ve gone with the new girl and whether or not you’ve promised her marriage.
As for the old girl, beware of her. Kojo don’t buy the idea of someone going elsewhere for reasons known to her alone and come back to beg. You should be more concerned about her coming back into your life after disappearing.
If Obaa Yaa is to advise you on who to choose between the two, it will certainly be the new girlfriend.
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
