Obaa Yaa
She wants to marry an Octogenarian
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am an octogenarian living peacefully in my house in Accra after retiring from the civil service some years back.
I live alone because all my eight children are living abroad and remit me constantly.
A last born of a female classmate of mine called Grace, 36 years, and not married has been paying me frequent visits to my house to assist in washing my dishes.
But one day, she surprised me when she asked me to marry her.
Please what would my daughter say?
Is she interested in an octogenarian like me because my daughter send me lot of dollars every month?
Obaa Yaa, please advise me.
Old Boy, Accra.
Dear Old Boy,
I WOULDN’T know the real motive of the woman asking you to marry her, but it is not uncommon.
It might be that she has a genuine liking or feelings for you because of how you relate with her or how you have been kind to her.
It can also be a result of her ambition to inherit your fortune when you eventually pass away.
Personally, I do not think it is advisable for an octogenarian to marry again. What you need at this age is a good house-keeper to see to your food, clothes, bedding and the cleanliness of your home.
Be careful because she might be a gold digger and not a genuine lover
Obaa Yaa
They said the carpenter is not a good match
Dear Obaa Yaa,
As a University graduate from the prestigious University of Ghana currently doing my National Service in a very great institution, I am dating a carpenter who barely completed his Junior High School.
I love him, and I don’t see any problem dating him but my sisters are against it.
I started dating him when I was in my third year, he is caring, free spirit and kind.
My sisters are saying he is not a good match for me and he will block my chances in future.
He’s even demanding to go see my parents.
Please what should I do?
Miriam,North Legon
*****
Dear Miriam,
I can see the love for your boyfriend is deep. I pray the two of you will be in this boat forever.
Love does not show class, level etc. It’s about two matured people who have decided to build a family together.
In your letter, you mentioned that your sisters were against you marrying the carpenter. They are looking at your boyfriend’s background and occupation.
If you really love him, you can help him to register for courses in order to upgrade his schooling and make his business very attractive.
I know there are men who are interested in you as well. But don’t let that get into your head. Take your time and study all of them because marriage is a long journey.
Take him to your parents as well, they might even like him.
Obaa Yaa
He has stopped going to church
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am going through hell. I have been married for five years and I have known no peace.
My husband who was a staunch Christian before we married has taken to serious drinking.
And anytime he is drunk, he insults me for no reason. We have a child together.
He has stopped going to church with us. Anytime he is drunk, he doesn’t come home.
I can’t cope any longer with the marriage, I want to quit. I need your wise counsel.
Yaa Mansa,
Techiman.
****
Dear Yaa Mansa,
Married is not a straight road. It can be rough and winding sometimes because many factors come to play.
Frustration at work can turn a man into a drunkard. Even nagging can change the nice character of a man.
Financial problems can change a man’s mood.
So humans do change, but the good thing is that they can also change for the better.
However before a person can change, the root cause of his problem must be ascertained.
Find out why your husband is drinking and also stopped going to church and help him to reform.
Note that in such circumstances, nagging does no good. He must be sympathized with and helped to turn around, and not condemned.
