Odd News
Short Jokes
“Sofishticated.”
- “I’m afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered.”
- “My wife said I should do lunges to stay in shape. That would be a big step forward.”
- “Why do fathers take an extra pair of socks when they go golfing?” “In case they get a hole in one!”
- “Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.”
- “What do a tick and the Eiffel Tower have in common?” “They’re both Paris sites.”
- “What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie?” “Sofishticated.”
- “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
- “If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?” “Pilgrims.”
- “I thought the dryer was shrinking my clothes. Turns out it was the refrigerator all along.”
- “How does dry skin affect you at work?” “You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it.”
Odd News
Texas woman’s tongue is the world’s widest at 3.11 inches
A Texas woman was awarded a Guinness World Records title for the surprising contents of her mouth – a 3.11-inch-wide tongue.
Brittany Lacayo told the record-keeping organization she decided to apply for the title after learning about the former record-holder, Emily Schlenker, whose tongue measured 2.89 inches wide.
Lacayo’s tongue is exactly as wide as the average length of an adult woman’s tongue: 3.11 inches.
Her tongue actually is wider than it is long when measured from the epiglottis, the flap of cartilage located behind the tongue.
“It is neat and kind of funny,” Lacayo told Guinness World Records.
The male version of the record belongs to American Brian Thompson, whose tongue measures 3.49 inches wide.
Jokes
One day a mom noticed that when her son was logging onto a favorite website, he typed a very long password. She asked him what it was, and he replied, “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto.”
She asked him why he would use such a password. “Because,” he explained, “it says your password has to have at least four characters.
Odd News
Ohio man’s dog license number earns him $50,000 lottery prize
An Ohio man used the numbers from his beloved dog’s license tag to play a Pick 5 lottery, drawing and scored a $50,000 prize.
Roger Sours of Tiffin told Ohio Lottery officials he bought a ticket for Wednesday’s Pick 5 drawing at the Pit Stop on N Washington Street in Tiffin and selected a special set of numbers: 1-0-8-2-2.
“I play two sets of numbers for Pick 5 and this number, the number that hit was actually my license number for my German Shepherd that I played. She’s no longer with us anymore,” he said.
Sours said he was shocked when he watched the lottery results on TV.
“I just sat here. I watched the lottery when I can, when it’s on TV and I just sat here. It was like, I froze. I just couldn’t believe that it hit,” he recalled.
Sours said his winnings will go toward taking care of some bills and giving a boost to his savings account.
