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Obaa Yaa

Should I accept her back?

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

We were lovers for a couple of years and things were moving on well for us, a condition which gave us much joy. Encouraged by how things went between us, we planned to seal our relationship with a memorable marriage.

Unfortunately, my lady, with reasons best known to her, be­came dissatisfied with me, her character suddenly changed towards me and shunned my company a few months ago.

After one year, she entered into another relationship and had a child.

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The child is five years old and she has started calling my number frequently to find out how I am doing.

Though we sometimes exchanged pleasantries and talked for some period, I have been very careful not to be enticed by her in any way.

Surprisingly, she has been pleading that she wronged me, adding that I should take her back since she made a mistake by leaving me for another man who has neglected her eventu­ally and got married.

My worry is that she won the hearts of my parents and they wished she was my wife, but they were disappointed at the decision she took.

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Though she is out of my way, they occasionally mention her in their conversations, an indication that they still have her in mind. Should I accept her back?

Michael, Kaneshie-Accra.

Dear Michael,

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Love strives on many things, including tolerance, perseverance, the willingness to forgive and fruitful condi­tions.

I am pretty sure your lover might have seen something good in the person who had lured and eventually won her love.

It is good she had the op­portunity to study the two of you and has now inferred that you are better than the other man, hence her decision to plead for forgiveness that you take her back.

Do not be in hurry to make a hasty decision in this case since you could be making a mistake. You ought to take your time, seek the consent of your parents since she was in their good books before her abrupt decision to leave you.

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Love has deeper meaning and various considerations which must be carefully em­ployed. In view of this, you have to listen to your con­science and go by it.

My conviction is that having known each other very well will provide the mutual under­standing which is necessary for your marriage to last.

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Obaa Yaa

 My boss is tormenting me

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environ­ment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

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Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our com­pany.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

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Ashiaman.

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Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

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Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are compe­tent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.  

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Obaa Yaa

I am in a state of dilemma

 Dear Obaa Yaa,

My name is Owusu and I am 35- years -old while my wife is 30 years. We have been married for five years but been together for seven years. We have two children together and they are doing so well in their academics.

My company had a conference at a hotel in Kumasi and four of us from my department were selected to represent the company.

During lunch, I decided to take a stroll and enjoy the scenery around the hotel since it’s my first time there.

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As I strolled around, I was shocked to see my wife step out of a car with a young man. They started walking towards the reception of the hotel. The man placed his arms around her waist and they seemed to be enjoy­ing each other’s company.

I froze and felt bad. I wanted to shout and approach them but when I opened my mouth, no words came out and my feet were too heavy to drag. I just watched them in awe as they checked in at the reception and disappeared from my sight.

I am in my mother’s house now, I do not know how I will face her if I eventually go home. I told her my mom needs help with a few things at the house so I will lend a helping hand and also sleep over. I haven’t told anyone but my mom suspects that something is wrong.

I am down right now, my mar­riage and home seem to be coming to an end. Please what should I do?

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Sakyi, Adenta.

Dear Sakyi,

**********

I understand how you feel and I plead with you to continue to be patient with your wife.

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Please try and go home to have a word with her concerning the inci­dent you saw.

Give her the benefit of doubt to explain what she was exactly doing there at that time with the man.

I am pleading with you to give her a second chance but most important­ly, kindly inform her parents about it to talk to her.

You can seek the help of a profes­sional counselor and go for therapies with her.

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However, if you are not comfort­able staying with her, please part ways with her peacefully. You can co-parent your daughter.  

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