Should I leave my uncle?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I HAVE been working with my uncle for the past two years in his shop without pay, even though he has promised to pay me a monthly salary.

A friend of his offered me employment in his shop and the remuneration is very attractive which I have accepted.

Am I being ungrateful for accepting the job and how do I break this news to my uncle.

Eva

Accra, Ghana

*****

Dear Eva,

I SUGGEST you give him another chance by reminding him politely about your monthly stipend.

On the other hand, he might have forgotten and maybe have invested it into something lucrative for you.

Kindly tell your friend to hold on with the job offer and speak to your uncle about any decision you want to take.

It would also be ideal if you speak to your parents to talk to your uncle on your behalf.

If he agrees to pay you, then let him know that you wish to accept an employment elsewhere.

She used to see a mallam

Dear Obaa Yaa,

TWO years ago I went and consulted a mallam to help me get a husband. Each time, I meet a certain girl there, but we never talked, not even a simple greeting, because I did not feel comfortable to be seen at a mallam’s house.

Somehow, I started going to church and I stopped going to the mallam.

Can you imagine the shock when my elder brother recently brought this same girl home?

But what even surprised me is that the girl does not give any indication that she knows me.

I am confused because I know my brother will never forgive me if I should be the cause of trouble between them, but I don’t want him to marry someone who got him through foul means.

Please advise me on the right course to take.

T.G, Kumasi.

Dear T.G,

YOU should not be too quick in judging your brother’s girl. After all, you also went to the mallam before giving up to go to church. May be she also did the same thing, and met your brother through a natural way.

Whatever it is, the only way that you would be able to know anything at all is by talking to her, but you will have to be tactful about it.

Mind you, she does not owe you any explanations, because she could turn around to accuse you too.

What is important at this stage is to try and convince your brother’s girl, is if she still goes to the mallam, to give up just like you did. You could even invite her to your church.

Obaa Yaa

She has changed her attitude

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have been married to my wife for several years and we have had a fairly good marriage.

She started work last year after five years of being a housewife, and her attitude towards me has changed. She no longer wait on me the way she used to and lately she gets annoyed easily.

Our home is no longer a happy place even though we eat better than before. I am tempted to let her stop the work, but she will not even compromise on that.

How can I make her to see what she is doing to me?

C. C, Accra.

Dear C. C,

JUST what is your wife doing to you? I do believe that if there is any compromising to be done, it should come from you. If you are no longer shouldering all the financial burden, you should show some appreciation by helping with house chores. And doing things for yourself is one way of helping.

And come to think of it, marriage is supposed to be sharing and not one partner waiting on the other; except perhaps when that partner is sick.

If you want happiness and peace of mind, treat her like a partner and discuss all your problems. Any decision that you take should be mutual, otherwise one of you will always be dissatisfied.

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