Obaa Yaa
Should l accept him back?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
Our lovely relationship ended when l disclosed to him that l was pregnant. Initially, he denied responsibility of the pregnancy, but his mother who said she would not condone wrongdoing because the two of us were always together said she believed her son was responsible.
I went through painful labour after which l was delivered of my baby.
Since he wasn’t working then, his mother who was a single parent came to my assistance and helped me and my baby until her resources were depleted.
Luckily, he was able to get a job and this good fortune revived my hopes that things would be better and the education of my child and upkeep were assured.
This could not be as my man abandoned us and moved to settle in Accra without any prior information and stayed with a new lady he had befriended.
For close to three years, l was left to cater for my child’s education and everything by taking up menial jobs.
Painfully, he has changed his telephone number which makes it difficult for me to reach him on phone to discuss issues concerning the wellbeing of our child.
A week to Christmas, he came and pleaded with me to forgive him the wrong he had done against me and accept him back.
It was not easy entertaining him because of the way he had treated me, and for the fact that l lost my parents which he never considered to sympathise with me or find out how his child fared.
He has left me thinking about the appropriate step l have to take under the circumstance.
Should l accept him back?
Nancy, Cape Coast.
Dear Nancy,
It is not easy living under such circumstances and from all indications you have endured a lot of pain and hardships over the period.
I can confirm that two of such ‘come backs’ had produced different results. In the first instance, the gentleman returned a changed and very humble person who eventually brought back smiles to the family.
In the second example, the man was only looking for another opportunity and succeeded by taking advantage of the leniency of the lady and ended up doing worse things.
You ought to be careful about this gentleman who could be an opportunist, and has come back to deceive you once again as though he is a changed person who has come to improve your condition.
Be mindful of his decision to reject the pregnancy in the beginning but for the intervention of his mother. This gentleman could be making a return because of your new looks.
Obaa Yaa
Text message exposes my boyfriend
Dear Obaa Yaa,
My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.
Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.
I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.
He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.
My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.
I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.
Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.
I read the message when he was having his bath.
Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.
How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?
Abrefi, Tesano.
*****
Dear Abrefi,
I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.
I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.
He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.
This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.
In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.
Obaa Yaa
My boss is tormenting me
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.
Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.
In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.
Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.
Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.
I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.
Joe Boy,
Ashiaman.
******
Dear Joe Boy,
I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.
Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.
If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.
