Should l marry his friend?

Dear Obaa Yaa,

We have been married for two years and were happy from the beginning.

At that time, my happiness was the utmost desire of my husband but suddenly he began to disassociate himself from anything that concerns my happiness.

I am a pharmacist and my husband works at a reputable company.

Though my husband is very supportive and hardworking, his current behaviour has started to affect me greatly, and I am beginning to lose interest in him.

I met this new friend who has shown interest in me and does everything possible to make sure that I am always happy.

I am beginning to develop feelings and affections for him, and even considering to marry him so that I can achieve my happiness.

Should I go ahead and marry him or I should wait for my husband with the hope that he will change?

Roberta, Accra

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Dear Roberta,

There is no situation that is permanent in this world so you must be prepared to accept the fact that people can change over time.

Since your husband was very supportive, loving and caring from the beginning but has suddenly changed, you must be sincere to yourself and find out whether your behaviour has caused him to change.

Though your friend has been good to you and ensured that you are happy, that should not lead to marriage.

So far as you are still married to your husband, you will compound your problem if you go ahead and marry this gentleman.

First of all, it will destroy the relationship between the three of you.

What is the guarantee that the love this gentleman is expressing will last? Have you forgotten how your husband loved you at the beginning of your relationship?

Do not take any hasty decision because you can’t tell what will happen in future.

Your husband could change while this gentleman could be a pretender, an opportunist or something else.

A pretender will exhibit his true character when he gets what he is looking for.

Kindly hold onto what you have, no matter how bad it may look.

Text message exposes my boyfriend

Dear Obaa Yaa,

My boyfriend told me he was attending the funeral of her late cousin outside Accra and promised to be back the next day.

Initially, the plan was that I would go with him and spend some time with his family since I have a good relationship with them.

I realised he was not comfortable about that and kept telling me that it’s a distant cousin and there was no to need join him.

He said he was going to park his car at the office and join a family bus.

My boyfriend picked a woman from Accra whom he had arranged with during the week.

I called her sister and she told me that his brother came with a lady and also secured themselves a hotel room.

Immediately he arrived, he went straight to the bath house, a lady sent a text message on his phone appreciating the good time they had together.

I read the message when he was having his bath.

Though her sister gave me every information but the text message confirmed everything.

How can he do such a thing? Why did he take another lady to the funeral and left me behind?

Abrefi, Tesano.

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Dear Abrefi,

I Understand how you are feeling at the moment because your boyfriend lied to you.

I advise you to confront your boyfriend on the allegations and let him know you have a proof.

He might be pissed off but that is exactly what you should do.

This will give you the opportunity to insist that you will attend all functions with him so that he will not have the opportunity to misbehave.

In confronting him, be calm. Don’t quarrel or nag.

My boss is tormenting me

Dear Obaa Yaa,

I have worked in a private environment in Accra for 10 years now. People talk about how stressful it is to work in a private sector but I did not believe it till I had my fair share of experience working with my new boss.

Recently, our boss was transferred and was replaced by a new boss.

In fact, I am finding it difficult to work with him.

Looking at my age, he talks to me like am a small boy and relates to me like a teacher and his pupil.

Sometimes, I feel like hitting him but it is against the rules of our company.

I currently do not have another employment opportunity. What can I do? I can’t cope with his behaviour anymore.

Joe Boy,

Ashiaman.

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Dear Joe Boy,

I am afraid you’d have to cope with your boss for the meantime. Learn to live with the ‘devil’ until you find a way about it.

Just live up to your responsibility; perform your functions to the best of your knowledge and do not misbehave towards him.

If he sees that you are competent, he would begin to respect you. Remember that respect is earned not demanded.