Obaa Yaa
Should l take revenge on my ex boyfriend?
Dear Obaa Yaa,
We were friends from the Senior High School and became lovers throughout our stay in the university. Our friendship developed to the stage that he said ” l am the apple of his eyes” and he promised to marry me for which l did not hesitate to accept his proposal.
A year after we had completed our programmes in the university, l missed my period, despite the efforts l did to protect myself from being pregnant.
l was embarrassed in view of the situation in which l found myself. l could neither eat nor sleep, and all those who saw me at that time discovered that l had a serious problem in hand.
Though he pleaded with me to abort my pregnancy, l failed to comply. However, with time, he mounted pressure on me again and further explained that he was not employed, therefore, he would not be in the position to support me from the antenatal stage through to the time l would be delivered of my baby.
Later, he brought me some herbal concoction which he got from a friend and forced me to take it, failure to which he would refuse to accept the pregnancy and cease to talk to me.
l eventually obliged and took the concoction after which l bled for hours unending and later developed serious complications.
l became unconscious and was rushed to the hospital at the point of death, but was lucky to recover early. l was subsequently discharged after three weeks.
The medical doctor who treated me told my mother that he feared l would not be able to give birth in the future.
Now that l have complications due to the abortion, he has abandoned me and impregnated another lady whom he has promised to marry.
Naturally, l feel cheated and l am considering to take revenge. What should l do?
Nana Awurama.
Dear Nana Awurama,
First of all, we thank God for sparing your life and the ordeal that you have endured.
Take heart as you go through serious emotional moments. It is unfortunate that you allowed yourself to be deceived into taking a decision which is going to cause you the rest of your life, and for which you have yourself to blame.
It is not clear the sort of revenge you intend to take. No matter your plans, revenge could lead you into serious trouble if care is not taken, because you may be influenced by the anger in you to react.
Allow him to go ahead with his planned marriage if his conscience permits him.
Commit yourself to God and He will direct your path. Seek for forgiveness from God and hold nothing in your heart against him.
Forgiveness needs a broad, great and tender heart which you must hold unto and utilise to your benefit.
Obaa Yaa
My husband is seeing another lady
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I dated my husband for two years and got married few months ago because I was pregnant and didn’t want to give birth out of wedlock.
At the time I realised I was pregnant, another lady was also pregnant for him but the lady insisted on terminating the pregnancy and because he needed a child, he asked me to keep it and pleaded that he will not cheat on me again.
Now I have a baby girl and the issue is that he hides basically everything about him from me including his phone.
We are basically living like roommates but he provides food for the home. I am still in school so I want to go for family planning till I complete school and get something to do for myself because I don’t want to fully depend on him again.
Please I need an advice whether to go for the family planning or not and should I inform my husband?
Kakyire, Tarkwa.
Dear Kaakyire,
I understand what you are going through and feel your pain. I am pleading with you to be patient when handling issues like this.
Kindly have a discussion with your husband and voice out your frustrations and everything you are going through to him.
Make amends and apologise to each other. Begin this year on a fresh note.
I would advise you to go for the family planning methods in order to complete school without another pregnancy.
Finally, continue to pray and commit your marriage into the hands of God.
Obaa Yaa
My wife has put on weight
Dear Obaa Yaa,
I am aged 39, our marriage is two years old. I am sincerely worried about the changes in my wife. I got married to my wife who was slim and very beautiful but after the birth of our first child, she suddenly became fat.
She looks entirely like a different person to me. I have pleaded with her to hit the gym and also reduce her food intake, suggesting she eat only once a day.
I even went on to register her in a gym myself and pressurised her to be serious with it but she only went for a week and stopped, saying it’s stressful and still eating more than once a day.
I only make love to my wife when I am drunk, as I no longer find her sweet and attractive. As a result, I am having an affair with a lady I met on social media two months ago and she is pregnant.
I am confused because I did not intend to have a broken marriage. I sincerely love my wife, but her new size is sincerely a turn-off for me. Honestly, I am pleading for your assistance on how to tackle this situation.
Mr Owusu,
Techiman.
Dear Owusu,
You should understand that pregnancy and childbirth comes with a lot of changes and challenges.
People lose their lives whilst giving birth, others lose their teeth and some become paralysed for the rest of their lives.
If the basis for marrying your wife was because of her stature, then it’s highly possible you didn’t love her because these body changes are meant to happen.
You cannot tell an elderly woman to eat once a day just because you want her shape back.
You can convince her to exercise but not to compel her against her will.
And how sure are you that the other woman will not go through these changes when she gives birth as well.
It means you will end up moving from one woman to the other.
If you really cherish your wife and don’t want a broken home, then inform her about the other woman and the child she is expecting. Be responsible for the child and end the affair with the other woman.
Be ready to accept the current stature of your wife and enjoy your marriage.
